Baby Jones Coming Soon

2025 JUST GOT BIGGER!!!!

Myself and my beautiful girlfriend are happy and proud to announce that our lives will be changing in July 2025. We are entering the parenting world together.

Our beautiful baby waving at us from the 12 week scan.🥰

Here's the gorgeous set up we used to make it publicly known on socials.❤️🥳

Here we are together, celebrating Christmas and the new year in style, knowing in a few months time we will be proud parents.

Thanks for all the well wishes so far 😊❤️

My Girlfriend Is My Hero

How can I begin to express how proud I am of this special woman? How do I explain my love and proudness and the sheer amount of happiness that I feel around her and with her and for her?

Well, when I think long and hard about this strong, inspirational, golden hearted lady in my life, there's just two words to sum her up......MY HERO!

This summer she pushed through her mental and physical limits and did a whopping 25K Walk and she not only did that but also in a place not familiar to her and the biggest city and capital of the UNITED KINGDOM and that is London!

As you can see she was featured in a post from Girlguiding Cymru!

Her incredible achievement was documented in GG cymru newsletter also.

My Gf also played a pivotal part in saving a nursery from redundancy also.

My girlfriend also lead her unit and did a remarkable job at the Remembrance day parade.

Of course my Girlfriend raised some money having a PJ day at her nursery and got thanked by CHILDREN IN NEED.

I have known her for a decade but it's only been the past year that I have truly KNOWN her. I am so lucky to know her and have her in my life, not just as my girlfriend or best friend or partner but as my hero.

Inside and out she is an inspirational role model and the love of my life and I cannot wait for our future together and to make her my official wife. 

It's been an incredible year babe, keep doing your best, you got this!

All my love, forever and always.

Random Ramblin's 52 - Summer Of 20 20 4

It's been a little while since I wrote anything here, so please forgive my absence and allow me to fill in some blanks 😊

I've literally been super busy with 2 jobs. I've had a weekend break with my loving lady to London, which was absolutely amazing!❤️ My sweet pea did a 25k walk for charity in aid of mind and apart of Girlguiding for her Queen's Guide Award. Furthermore, I am so proud of her and all her achievements and the amount she raised🎉❤️ I will be doing another post on my Girlfriend's charity walk as well as a post about her hardwork with Girlguiding cymru❤️

It's been a lovely summer. Took my beautiful Mrs away for her birthday and celebrated🥰

Basically I've had an amazing hard-working summer and the days off I've had I've lived them to the fullest with my wonderful girlfriend🥰

I watched Despicable Me 4 and that was good. I have also seen the god awful Borderlands movie, and the less said the better. Speaking of Bad Video game movies, ahem, what the hexagon is that Minecraft live action trailer?!

Also, video games not even 10 years old getting remastered is just dumb🙃

Linkin Park are back and with a new line-up. Emptiness Machine is great. I don't think the band should be dubbed Linkin Park, but rather something else subtitled A Linkin Park Project. 

That's all I got for now folks, gotta go back to the grind of life again now unfortunately. 

Stay Shiny, I will return soon!

You Make Me Feel Alive

Tell me something my dear, how is it that I have lived for 30 years on a planet of 8 billion souls and yet, it's only now I'm discovering I'm actually living. I have no idea how I have made it this far without you, and without this overwhelming feeling of happiness and how sensitive I am to your care, actions and words, that make me tear up from this powerful feeling called love.

Love looked like a fairy tale, It looked luxurious and beautiful. I have seen what I thought was love and I have also been in what felt like love but it was like something not for me with how I was shown and given love.

I'd be yelled at and feeling scared and confused and told it was love. I was hit and shoved and reminded it was just love. I was bullied and belittled and was explained it was coming from a place of love. Yet those examples made me feel low and question myself. It makes me question and overthink myself to this day. There's been people I felt love for but it wasn't really love it was admiration because I felt human in how I was initially treated but alas being too nice for your own good is apparently the worse thing you can be when in this "love". My head makes me want to check and get confirmation and make sure I feel and am treated well and loved and the other person loves me and tells me and shows me. For all these years I've been blindly led through life where being nice only gets you hurt and pain. Trusting someone is hard to do now because of the years of torment my soul has endured and for how much my light in this world has been dulled.

I was told "I love you but" too many times to count where I know the next line will be "I'm seeing someone else or I like someone else". How crushing it is to pour your heart out and to have the water of your heart frozen solid and then crushed to pieces by someone you trusted and thought you loved, or to have that person pull out a knife and stab you in your heart and your brain and to feel one or the two break or snap. I've cried for ages Infront of someone who told me it was over and first it was dread and anxiety leading up to a statement being told to me of how it's over and how then I feel an ice cold dagger pierce my heart and I feel the cold blade shiver my body as my heart begins to get cold and ache. While tears flow furiously from my eyes and I blabber trying to scramble to gain answers as to why this pain is happening and all that I am feeling, my brain snaps and my tears decrease and my pain numbs as I then start laughing and smiling. Reassuring myself that it's all okay and it's fine and that I thank the other for the years we had and wish them well as I depart from their presence never to see them again. You get told "please don't do anything stupid, let me know when you get home safe" and you think to yourself "wow they still care, maybe a friendship could still happen" as you dive in deeper into your delusion.

Through delusion the heartbreak endured and grew worse, then came anger and betrayal and worthlessness, through those things became a downward spiral of ill intent. Through pills, alcohol, food and trauma came a wall of "stop or you won't be here anymore I'm serious" and so the inner mind of sound body and mind came out and instructed me to kill off the memories of pain, close up, burn, seal off all the trauma and that person and time to wise up and become a better person. Although i have been broken for a long time I've never liked seeing anyone sad or hearing they were not doing good so I would always take the mantle of being a star and raising others up and listening and doing whatever I can no matter how big or small a gesture it was to make sure I can make someone's day and someone laugh and smile. Years of pain of bullying of not seeing yourself as worthy of happiness or worthy of love teaches you that no one should feel that way. Looking back at those times why did I allow myself to feel like that for so long?

You close memories and people and seal them off in the back of your minds hoping to never see or hear them again but sealing them away doesn't always work. Someone will remember something, a word or phrase is said or something said in a certain way and even seeing those ghosts of trauma appear really messes with your head. You feel such anxiety and dread, you don't wish them to cause any bad for you or others and you convince yourself you won't ever see or hear these ghosts again but triggers are a powerful part of trauma. The old feelings of hurt reappear but never all consuming, the anxiety is consuming, the memories of the past pain is all that ever appears of how you felt used and betrayed and how someone who was supposed to show you care and what was supposed to be love actually showed you the opposite so you are mad at yourself for allowing to stick with it for so long when you really should have left and endured a possible shorter pain than the path of pain you went on. You always wish if you could go back and do and say something else to avoid those wretched paths that took you through pain but it's important to remember always who you are and where you are and how strong you are for surviving the days you never thought you would.

30 years of life, thinking I'm broken, I'm defective, I'm no good, I'm too nice, overthinking is going to be my killer, I'm going to die at 30 because of my weight, I'm not worthy of happiness and love and then for an old familiar face I loved looking at years ago reappears and wants to sit by this brooding, scarred, old man and is helping nurse his wounds better and asking him questions and genuinely caring about his thoughts and his past and that he is as beautiful still as the day she first saw him. It's really something special. Although I have my fallbacks and feel low or not confident in myself or I'm not good enough etc she never sees me differently. She cares always and she smiles and caresses my face and wipes away my tears and snots with her beautiful eyes shining and her warm smile glaring at me. She's a lot like me and I am scared, so scared to hurt and upset her and to lose her. I love her hard and so much than I've ever loved anything in my life. Although my anxious attachment mind needs reassurance and hear and see and feel love she gives 40% of the time, the rest I just know and feel and believe and have never doubted. Sometimes my head gets messy because of my past and I end up thinking paranoid things and I cannot apologise enough for it, my past is not where I am anymore and I am finally alive but the trauma I have been left with just needs me needing more work on myself and needing her help in reassurance and healing hugs to keep it all away. Those scary mean feelings don't happen all the time thankfully but when they do I feel intense in my mind, someone could whisper something as a joke to me and I'll answer with fire breathing back. My angelic ladybug struggles with her own head at times too as she's been through a lot like me and still views herself as not this angelic woman that I've always seen and still see her as. She's told me her pains and shown me her traumatic scars and she's recoiled back from me thinking I'd leave and be disgusted by her when all I've ever been is warm, loving and gentle with her. I love her full stop and I love her without any conditions with my whole heart and soul and I will pour all of me into her always, I'm not half assing things I'm going full gear and I need her, I want her, I crave her in all forms. Despite how glorious making love is, sex isn't something I always want or care about, it's not what I want every day all the time with her, it's not about sex. It's about the love, the connection, the care and support and holding her and being held by her that matters the utmost to me. I've been a beast for years and lived like a zombie with no care and so much self hate towards myself. This woman is mine and she has opened my eyes to a whole new world, she has made my heart beat once again and become warm, she puts bandages and plasters on my mind and she keeps my soul warm. She is the apple of my eye, the sunshine in my grey days, the moon that glistens with the stars, the water to my crops, the missing piece of my heart, my soulmate, my warrior, my princess, my woman, my wife. No matter how many miles apart we have been, she has always made it clear and she has a mission to keep in touch with me. It's something I never expected because I never had this happen before with someone needing to talk to me every single day without fail and when they are super busy or stressed out, for my special lady to always be in touch with me makes me feel so honoured and special and makes me feel so loved and appreciated. I never get bored and I never get sick of her no matter how long it's been and how long we been talking and spending time together each day. I have needed her for the longest time and I'm so thankful and grateful I finally have her and get to spend so much time and my life with her. I wish to marry her, to live with her, to have our own family and I've never wanted those parts of my life to start more than I have right now. Wish I could fast forward to raising our son or daughter in the air and teaching them how the world works and about the importance of good manners and being kind. I want to fast forward to seeing our childrens children too, I want it all and I want it now quite frankly my dear. When we are apart I miss her like mad and I cant wait for things to get easier and I can't wait to see her. I miss her straight away when she leaves to go home or go away. I've never missed someone so much and needed time with someone so much. I am always made to feel safe, cared, loved, happy, heard and seen by her and with her. I love and appreciate her more than I can ever say. I hope she knows it and remembers each day, I wish for her to remember each and every day of my love and of how special she is to me and how I wish she could borrow my eyes and see herself through mine to see she needs not be hard on herself and that she truly is the gorgeous,sweet, kind, loving, caring, attentive angel I see every single day. We will always give eachother our best and treat everything equally and always support and love eachother every day without fail because it's natural to us to give to eachother so we love just like breathing we just do for eachother. We will always be there for eachother through thick and thin from this life to the next and more for our souls with intertwine like a fabled red invisible string where we are connected forever and ever. I love you baby❤️xxx

Rest In Peace Akira Toriyama❤️🕊️🐲

My friends and family, it is with the utmost sorrow to say this but legendary manga artist Akira Toriyama has passed away. 

The tributes have been far and wide and from every country on the planet. I've got my own video tribute you can watch here  - https://youtu.be/J7k6xJWilAY?si=uybjK7xGpLBQZvLR

I am absolutely gutted to learn of the passing of the legendary Akira Toriyama😭 He's an inspirational and highly creative figure whose work has inspired generations and his impact on the world is seen often and always felt. Thank you for your work and for inspiring me❤️ 

Dragonball has been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember, from watching it after school with my nan and brother to playing all the games with friends, it's been there and I've cosplayed Goku and I even have a Dragonball tattoo.

Arigato, Rest In Peace. See you in the other world Toriyama Sensei.

The Signs Are There

Many signs appeared whilst I was talking and falling madly in love with this amazing woman, my Elli. There's been posts online, there's been music playing and thoughts and dreams. She has had my heart for a while. It took me a long time to talk with her, and took me a short amount of time for me to fall in love with her. I was afraid and anxious to love again, to allow myself, but she made it so effortless and easy for me to fall, she was herself, she was caring, accepting, loving. She gave me comfort and peace with her arms and soul. There were times I was talking to her, and she'd do something or say something, and I'd feel my heart race and my brain melt, and I was just holding back my mouth from saying "I love you" and the first time I said it to her, I felt so flustered, and my head was like "Oh my god what did you say? Why did you let that come out, what if she doesn't feel the" and she replied with a cute red face "I love you too". I said I liked her, and she was like "Oh really, I couldn't tell" with that cute confident smirk on her face. It was a rush, it was so exhilarating, and it still is, and she still makes my heart race and mind melt by the things she says and does. She can look at me and just the whole world stops, and I get my breath taken away. I am really thankful and lucky and grateful for her. 

I always had a crush on her, she was always so lovely and smart and pretty. Getting to know her as a person better just opened up my eyes and increased the size of my heart because I love her and I want to share a life with her, that's why I've got to ask her out. I really want to be her man. She's the sprinkles to my doughnut.

I plan to ask her for valentine's unless some sort of perfect day happens and changes that for me. I miss her and can't wait to see her again in person and to hold her.

I was getting tired of trying of waiting on meeting someone and that I stopped looking. I was focused on myself, when we both appeared back into each other's lives. I have seen her in my workplace for the first time in years and I wanted to wrap my arms around her so much because she looked so troubled and upset, I didn't want to be awkward, and I was shy and that's why I didn't message or talk to her for years. I was shy and felt it to be awkward, or I'd be a bother. Little did I know that my overthinking mind was so wrong.....

I thought the "love" I had and had to give, and that mushy side was all dead and gone, I thought I had ripped it out and buried it and left it for dead because of my past hurt and trauma and to overcome it, I felt it was best to remove it and just focus on myself. The focus on myself has helped me become better and stronger, but this amazing woman has brought my lovey side back from the dead. We are genuine and beautiful souls, and we attracted one another. Soon was replaced by finally when we met in my workplace and when we snuck around. I can't wait for finally to be here again where we are free and open to do what we want and when we want.

We were far away from each other on my birthday, but we still made every effort to message. I always aim to spend my life with people who make me feel seen, heard, cared about and loved, and she makes me feel all that and more. She's done more in a month than anyone else has in my past. I stay patient and try my best to, despite how much I miss her and want to see her and need to see her all free and happy and just here with me.

I was strong in 2023, the strength opened my eyes. I'm coming back and getting my happiness this year, and I'm getting everything else I've wanted and more. 2020-2022 changed and broke me and left me scarred, afraid, sad and left me for dead. I'm so happy to have found myself and an amazing lady I can't wait to date and go on epic adventures with.

I just want to look after her, hold her, and give her everything she deserves and more and treat her like the best woman to ever exist and how I think she deserves to be treated and that's because, I love her, and she deserves the best and I always give the best and always plan to. I want to help her with anything and through anything. Furthermore, I want to grow with her and grow together and build a life we are happy and proud of. We both give each other a lot of time, effort, care, trust and love, and we make a great team and are determined to be each other's last in life and to have the bestest life together.

You have my ❤️

I haven't felt like this in a long time, something is happening, something strange, no one could have predicted, my heart I feel it growing, I feel it beating and warming. It's beats are faster than normal, my mind is a full tank, swimming with someone. 

For someone who I've barely known and who I didn't speak or see for years to suddenly explode back into the scene for me and make me feel alive, it's extraordinary. I have thought of you on and off for years, this person would pop up as notifications "likes your photo", "likes your post". I always looked at her page and smiled, thinking and knowing she be doing well and i would hope she would be happy. Now as my phone pings, I get excited, hoping it's her, to see her name on the top of my screen, excitement builds. 

When she is not doing well or has to hide away for hours, I grow so worried. She was out the other night and I didn't know what to do with myself after a while as I felt worried and anxious about her being safe when she was out and I didn't want anyone to hurt her or or anything horrible or upsetting to happen to her. I was trying to keep busy because I know what kind of woman she is and she's strong and smart to know what to do if there's trouble or something is up. That nervous anxious feeling was surreal to me. Wow I was taken back, "I really care about her, don't I?" I would say to myself as my smile grew. My smile grows and grows and so does my smirk when she pops to mind or whenever I hear her name or see her name. This excitement is out of this world, it's then I really knew how much I cared about her and how I really felt about her. 

How can one person suddenly show up and hold your hand and actually sit with you and ask how you are and more, when you just don't expect it? To have someone suddenly appear and actually care is a miracle and a blessing. My gut tells me this is meant for me and meant to be because it's always been her even when I didn't know it. Even when she and I had been in different worlds yet we only lived 5 to 10mins away from eachother. These be the emotions I feel and what my head, heart and gut tell me. Having someone so special in your life who wants to talk to you every day because they find you so interesting and love the sound of your voice and that she shows me I'm worth her time and attention it's honestly the best feeling. 

Who knew complimenting a Xmas tree would be the best thing I ever did?! For years I wanted to message her and I was scared, of rejection, worried about any awkwardness I could cause. We knew eachother briefly years ago and we both thought we were so lovely. I honestly thought she was this cute, little, dwtty, kind, lady who was hard working and thoughtful. She probably thought of me as a big friendly giant at the time and you know she'd be right as I still am that.

Getting to know her and her values and intentions is the best thing, I've been doing on a daily basis. It makes me respect and admire her and more. This ain't a crush, it's more, that I know for sure. 

Do you ever feel like someone feels like home? Ever feel as if the missing puzzle was around you or rather right in front of you this whole time? You ever wish you could go back and show up to someone's door with the knowledge you have now and choose a different path? You ever think this was the path that was always meant to be walked down but you got lost along the way? Whatever questions I can ponder, my heart it whispers her name to all of those questions as if it knows that's the answers I been waiting for. 

I know someone special, i know I see a lot possible with that person. I know what I want and what I want is her happiness. I want my own happiness also and I can get that from my focus on myself, achieving my goals, continuing to learn and evolve and continuingly on past my limits. However I can also gain happiness past my own by seeing her happy and succeed and further grow into this marvellous, smart and gorgeous woman she is today. It also would be the cherry on top to have her as a permanent figure in my life. 

I cannot wait to take her away to incredible places and have so many dates with her and treat her to what she deserves and show her true love and relationship is like. I can't wait to make her laugh every day and fall asleep next to her. I can't wait to hold her. I cannot wait for all these things and more with her. It's her only her, only ever will be her. I'd happily exchange half of my life for half of hers and I would give a part of me to her, to save her life if ever needed. She inspires me to work harder and she understands me and anything I've been hurt with she's listened and understood and without thinking help me with any emotional past bandages or plasters I needed. I'm always impressed by the silly faces she pulls and all of her hard work and achievements. Her style and sense of fashion is truly remarkable and stunning and I love it, she pulls any outfit off with ease and grace, looking so dreamy and hot. I crave her next to me for the simplest of things, a hand hold, a staring contest, a cwtch, a cuddle and even to just sit or lay in silence admiring her. She's the best part of my day. 

This is all I think and feel about her, from the start to right now. I hope she knows all this and more. I can't wait for that right time to open up and she dares say "let's go" to me or "let's do this". I don't want to ever push her away or pressure her, I want to make her comfortable and take away any pain, stress, anxiety and sadness. It's important to me that she feels happy, relaxed and loved. I've made a promise to her and I'll always stick by it. I really fancy this woman, she's dreamy in a lot of ways from her personality, eyes, lips, body, hair, nose and ears and all of her every single fibre of her being. From the way her eyes look to her cheeky grins and adorable voice and video/voice messages, to the way she scrunches her lips and pushes a bottle of Dr pepper into her face to crease it ever so delicately. She deserves unconditional love and I plan to give her that. 

Gorgon Eyes - Original love song/poem by Sjones

You've got me shaking just by talking,
I am frozen like a statue from your gaze,
Those beautiful lips are moving, but I don't hear any words come from your mouth,
That laugh snaps me out of the hypnosis, and I am lost for words,
What do I say, what do I do?,

I can't read the room, but I want to read you,
I want to make you smile and get lost in your gaze,
Turn me into a statue with those Gorgon eyes, and I'll make you happy for the rest of our days,

Those luscious lips, them curvy hips,
I want to be drunk on you, I want to be consumed by you,
Your silky hair and pearly whites, nothing compares to the greenery in your eyes,
Is this what it's like to fall in love, because this is new, Is that my heart?,

I can't read the room, but I want to read you,
I want to make you laugh and get lost in your gaze,
Turn me into a statue with those Gorgon eyes, and I'll make you happy for the rest of our days,

I'm taking the plunge and asking you out,
I don't know why you laughed and agree'd because I nervously knocked my drink over you,
Maybe this is just a dream, and you are not real, Who'd want to be with someone like me?,
I'm a fool, I've made mistakes, and I've been alone for my heart has been torn,

I can't read the room, They are just staring and laughing at me,
I don't like the shakes any more, I've made a mistake, and it's time to leave,
My back was against you, but I felt a pull and there you were in front of my eyes,
I am lost in those Gorgon eyes and turned to stone,
Your lips have just touched mine and I could taste fine wine,
My body is melting as the dopamine is spiralling,
I'm being taken to Neverland.

I won't be behind you - Original Lyrics/Poem - SJones

 Do you remember what the last words i told you, we were in the parking lot, smoking your dads pot, 

do you remember saying this aint working out, im not having a blast, you set me up for failure, used me and threw me in the trash,

ive forgotten how scary you are, youve gone too far and become unstable, no matter how far or how hard you fall, i wont be here behind you!

do you remember the extra pulse in your car, or are you blocking it out like the rest?, do you remember saying your love for me would never change?, you told me that again when you dropped me on my ass, like some useless change.

ive forgotten how scary you are, youve gone too far and become unstable, no matter how far or how hard you fall, i wont be here behind you!

ive forgotten how scary you are, youve become too damn unstable,

no matter how far, no matter how hard, when you fall, i wont be behind you,

ive forgotten how scary you are, youve gone too far and become unstable, no matter how far or how hard you fall, i wont be here behind you!

Written

3:50am

29/12/22

Feels Like My World Has Crashed - Original lyrics/poem by SJones

So this is where we are, star crossed lovers, walking different paths, this is not where we wanted to be, I was driven Maad, my other half didn't want to be with me,

You don't....know the pain im in, i'll love you....til im dust and ash.....

And it feeels like my world has craaashed, and theres nothing i can do about it, no, theres nothing you can do about it, when it feeels, like my world has craaashed, there's nothing you can do about it, no there's nothing I can do about it. 

Someone please tell me the news, how's she holding up, please stop the lies, thats not the picture she painted of me,

you dooon't know the pain im in, I;ll love her, til i breathe my last,

And it feeels like my world has craaashed, and theres nothing i can do about it, no, theres nothing you can do about it, when it feeels, like my world has craaashed, there's nothing you can do about it, no there's nothing I can do about it. 

Another man holding your coat and hand, trying to do you better than I, oh i wish i could walk, the road back into time,

and soo you wanna think its funny, you really think its funny, to laugh and mock some body, you really think it's funny?.

And it feeels like my world has craaashed, and theres nothing i can do about it, no, theres nothing you can do about it, when it feeels, like my world has craaashed, there's nothing you can do about it, no there's nothing I can do about it. 

Written

29/12/2022

2:45am

In my dreams (original poem,lyrics)

In my dreams, I see you sailing away, I'm holding onto hope that the pain will leave me someday, our love is a moment lost to time, heartbreak should be a crime, in my dreams we are sailing away, 

Listen to the echos of forgotten dreams, we had the world at the palm of our hands or so it seemed, we thought were the champions of all, just like Icarus our love flew too close to the sun and we started to fall,

I fell and broke into pieces, I couldn't arrange them and make them fit anymore, I didn't balance life well and I've lost who I am, blinded by pain sorrow and regrets, I drink now to forget,

Every time I fall asleep I see you there, laughing and smiling with your eyes gleaming, I lay awake at night staring at the ceiling, memories come streaming to my mind, I'm surprised my hearts still beating, 

How much longer will this take, the pain and the heartbreak, I ache and i ache, I have never experienced such pain, In my dreams i find you there.  

Charity Awareness Post 2020!

Hi there, 

I would like to raise some awareness and post links to charities which I have donated to and I love their work so here it goes. 

Miscarriage Association

There's a word besides Lockdown and Covid 19, I have heard more of this year than any other and that is Miscarriage and there are so many stories of so many going through it and I can tell you now, it's not nice, and it's not easy, and it's got no full recovery from just like any loss you have to go through in life. - https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/about-us/the-charity/

Beluga Sanctuary

I LOVED watching John Bishop help save and relocate the two Beluga Whales on ITV earlier this year, Little Grey and Little White are so beautiful and cute and amazing, and I just want the best for them, and I am still following their story and if you want to help or know more go to the link - https://belugasanctuary.sealifetrust.org/en/

Dementia UK

Dementia is a horrible disease, I donated to them earlier this year when I lost my nan as I felt such a strong urge to donate to many charities actually, it's horrible to lose anyone and to know we have organizations and people out there looking for cures is amazing, but they need our help and donations to continue, so I mention them and link them here for this reason - https://www.dementiauk.org/

Marie Curie

Is a charity whom's services have helped my family a lot in the care and attention of my Dementia stricken Nana and the care of her in her last years of life so of course a massive shoutout and thanks to them and please give them anything you can or just learn more about their amazing work! - https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/

RNLI Lifeboats

Without the RNLI so many lives would be lost at sea every year, these brave volunteers are always on hand to help and save others and I support the Quay West crew and the service as a whole - https://rnli.org/what-we-do/lifeboats-and-stations/our-lifeboat-fleet

Sea Shephard

Are protectors of our oceans from illegal activities and they have done some amazing work - https://www.seashepherd.org.uk/

Raf Museum

I respect and love the RAF and their museum is amazing I shopped at their online shop to support them and I wanted to do this in memory of my late Grandfather who worked for RAF so go support and grab something lovely here - https://www.rafmuseumshop.com/

There are indeed so many great and amazing charities out there but I only chose to list and name those who have meant a lot to me this year so please do check them out, tell them you got referred to from me and let's just be excellent to each other and hope 2021 is a great year. 

Random Ramblin's 43 - Reflection Post Halloween 2020

Reflection time!😎

So Halloween 2020 was an unusual one. This year is so abnormal. We in Wales are in lockdown once more but the firebreak national welsh lockdown is nearing it's end, unfortunately Covid is still roaming. Its been hard for sure but there's also some great things that have and are still happening.

I've done an amazing job and I'm proud of myself for my facepaint. Which even Finn himself liked my demon Bálor paint (1st pic) and the 2nd pic was Cobra Kai halloween inspo with a skeleton they are seen in.😊

OK so I've also got my fave band Sabaton autographs so that is freaking incredible and amazing!!!!🤗😁🤯🥳 I managed to learn The Black Parade more on piano and am trying to learn more and practice more.😄 I've been back gaming and enjoying it after what felt like ages of having a period of unenjoyment with games but all good and fun again. 🙂 I also had the newest Mha movie on steel book triple play and I been waiting ages for it to arrive and I finally have it!!!☺️

Been a while since I posted here but I felt now was a good time. 

I'm healing, I'm grieving and some days are harder than others. Life is hard and has more uncertainties than ever before. Never lose hope always keep ahold of it and try to laugh and have a person who can wrap their arms around you even from far away and help you get back up on your feet when life has you down. 

I'm an advocate for hope and I won't ever lose hope, I'll keep a tight hold on it.

Peace with you all, look after your minds, be mindful of all the information you take on and don't overload yourself or over work yourself.

Take it easy people!

✌️ 😊✌️

Scott

So They Say (original song lyrics)

Daylight Comes and like a ghost your gone,

No where to be seen, My stranger of the night,

I wish you had stayed a little bit longer, My smile perked up since knowing that night,

Loneliness makes the heart grow fonder so they say,

So they say,

I've been a stranger to myself,

My confidence use to sit on a dusty shelf,

Now it's being cleaned up and i'm ready to wear it,

Unable to make any decisions but now i can, Now i can,

Keep moving, keep moving, things will look up,

Jacket on, zipped up, It's a cold night,

Here i am looking everywhere for you out on the town,

In the middle of the street there's a post which is familiar,

Takes me back to that time i sat with you on the bench all night drinking coffee,

I remember holding your hand on the corner, you said things will get better,

They said you can always try again, So they say, Or so they say,

High heels off, dress undone, wine and good energy flowing now,

Your lips pressed up against mine, hands touching too much, It's shockingly overwhelming,

You told me this would be a slice of heaven,

I was unprepared for the hell that came with getting a halo,

This is signs of true love so they say,

So they say,

I'm broken, i'm beat, i'm scarred,

Nothing told me this is what love is like, It wasn't supposed to be like this,

Clueless and alone with lust at my door,

I was beaten harder by mere words than any fist's,

The marks i hid well from everyone in physical form but i had nothing to hide the emotional,

Things will be better, maybe it's work stress or family problems,

So they say, Oh so they say,

I've been a stranger to myself for too long,

I lost all my cares, patience and trust by living dangerously,

I loved delusionally, I lost myself to keep another happy,

I live for me now, it's hard, I can't seem to do anything right,

Walking away helped me so much to end the nightmare so that's alright, 

You'll be fine so they say, so they say,

I was broken, i did not feel like a person,

I felt an unchangeable frown upon my face and a dark cloud over my head,

Uncomfortable in my own skin, my life is not worth living,

So i say, so i say,

I thought the worst things for myself,

my lonely heart did not have to wait long,

My fire reignited when you made me laugh,

In a split second i felt a string break upon my puppetry self,

You made me smile, you made me excited, you made me feel again,

I was made out to be a human, i was shown i was real, you did this,

I believed only i could fix myself but there you were holding the tools for me smiling,

True love is just in fairy tales, it's all made up and does not exist,

So they said, oh how they remarked,

Night time now and here i am,

Laying in my bed and my stranger of the night is not a stranger anymore,

In your arms i feel so safe, secure and happy, thank you for thinking of me,

Thank you for staying with me, thanks for thawing this icy heart,

You really are a masterpiece a true piece of art,

You're happy for now, you're being unwise, you're rushing, so they say,

So here i say,

Go away.

written 5/5/20

I won't let them take you away - Original song/poem

I've walked through the eye,

the eye of the storm,

and I won't,

let them take

you away,

And I've hurt myself,

Going, through the chan-ges,

Life has cut me down, and it's knocked me out,

But I still

persevere,

To save my soul,

To save your life,

I'll take their life away,

And as I realise

as their eyes go white,

That my soul can't be saved,

But baby trust me girl,

I won't let them

get

away,

I will,

Never

let you down,

For I will,

always be,

the one who has your back my dear,

Bad men may,

they may come for you,

And some may say,

That they're goo-oooh-d,

But they won't take,

you

 Ah-way,

I've fallen down,

I've got back up,

I've been beaten to a pulp,

And I've been stabbed....and shot,

I ain't had......much luck,

But they won't take....

My girl away,

Bad men try,

they try all the time,

to take you

 ah-way,

But what they don't realise,

The sight before their eyes,

As they come to meet their demise,

That this girls with me,

And I've got

no mercy,

So pack up your bags and carry a knife,

for this trip .....won't be

eeeasy,

but know this time and realise,

That i love my bay bee,

And bad may come and men may appear,

But they won't take you

from

me.

Original Lyrics/Poem by me

23/6/2020 1:25am

Playing With Fire (love 80s slow falsetto ballad rock song) lyrics

I've said some things that wasn't right,
I let you lay there all the night,
We've heard the story a thousand times,
Two lovers stories intertwined,
you know,

I have been playing with fire,
i have been burnt,
I have been playing with fire,
It hurts,
You, know,

They're playing our song on the radio,
I'm writing this to let you know, oh oh,
I hope they play this on the radio,
You know its true, hoo hoo,
How much i love... you,

I have been playing with fire,
i have been burnt,
I've said some things that hurt desires,
I've been playing with fire,
It hurts, you...know

Laying in my bed at night,
All alone and full of fri-ight,
Spooky scary silhouettes,
Overthinking my....regrets,

I have been playing with fire,
i have been burnt,
I flew too close to the su-uh-un!,
And now i'm hurt,
I hope you, kno-oh-oh-oh,
I love you, hoo hoo hoooo!

Grey Skies Will Fade Away - Poem

Although the skies are grey,

And you're mind is unclear,

Know that i will sit beside you,

And it will all be okay my dear,

I know its tough right now,

And emotions are high,

But rest easy knowing i am by your side,

The rain will ease away,

And We will welcome a rainbow to stay,

Brighter days are coming,

For as long as you are still smiling,

The world is beautiful and full of vibrant colours,

With you here, this world will never get duller,

Thank you for being the light in the dark,

Thank you for holding onto me during stormy seas,

Thank you for being the sense and calm in my madness,

Thank you for all you're beautiful words and emotions,

Thank you for all the love you give me,

Thank you for not giving up and staying here,

Don't give up, Stand unbroken,

Continue to grow and heal and continue evolving,

For the hurt and anger and depression and anxiety you live with,

I am sorry for those who brought the worst to you and tried to destroy you,

You are in control and all is well now, no need to be afraid,

No harm will ever come to you, No harm should have ever came to you,

We can't rewind time, but if we could we would,

We would meet sooner, laugh harder,

Never stop smiling, Live together longer,

We would do as we are doing now, live and conquer,

Us against the world and not at each other,

Thank you for being the best team mate i could ever wish for,

Thank you for warming my heart up,

Thank you for making me smile and laugh so hard,

Thank you for making so many beautiful memories with me,

Thank you for helping me grow and learn,

Thank you for loving and holding me,

Thank you for staying with me,

I know how excited and happy and joyous i get at times,

Be it about seeing you again, Or hearing or seeing something amazing,

You continue to inspire and motivate me and make me sane,

I know some days are harder than others,

But nothing truly beats laying with you under the covers,

Stay strong my sunflower, for you will bloom again soon,

It's not easy living in our heads,

At least we have each other.

Four Words - Poem/lyrics original

Unable to sleep,

Unable to dream,

My silence haunts me,

Unable to move,

Unable to feel,

Is this really real,

Four words, you said to me,

Four words, they hurt me,

Four words, they cut me deeply,

Four words, they still haunt me,

The day was sunny, bright,

You were smiling, having the time of your life,

What went wrong, how did it go wrong?,

You said three words, which meant the world to me,

But now it's no longer true,

I'm cold, unable to warm up,

I'm numb, unable to get hurt,

I'm silent now, a ghost set to haunt,

I'm transparent and paralysed,

I'm dying on the inside,

Four words, you said to me,

Four words, they hurt me,

Four words, they cut me deeply

Four words, oh how they haunt me.

written 24/5/20

Sleepless Nights & Tired Eyes (original poem) by Scott Jones

Sleepless nights and tired eyes,

Screams of hunger in the middle of the night,

Cries of changing, keep me ever so on guard,

I try to silence them for you to get your rest,

We created a beautiful being,

You pushed and kept giving but they were no longer comfy in their cell,

They impatiently made us wait 9 months to arrive into our lives,

And how thankful and happy we are now,

As we hold hands bearing witness to our blessing of life,

To see the product of half of my life and half of yours in a single being,

The tale of equivalent exchange we heard a long time ago,

The best stories always stick with us,

I am so happy to have been blessed with such amazing people,

Those who stuck by my side through the thick and thin,

To my wife who has helped bandage up my mortal wounds,

To my child who has the light of hope inside them to carry on,

For my family who raised me with kindness and respect and love,

To my friends who have been there when i had none of that which i have now,

I thank you all for following me, it's a tough old life,

I hope we can all sit around a table when we are old and grey and look back,

Hopefully we can all smile and say we made it,

Dearest darling wife and i will be happily sat in our homes at 90 smiling,

Surrounded by our children and their children,

Oh such happy times and many rainbows all to come,

We have endured such storms and we'll all endure many more,

We will all survive and live happily ever after.....

Random Ramblin's 40 - WHAT?! CORONA LOCKDOWN!

Hi there, you join me in the comfort of a dark room, sipping upon blue wkd with some synthwave instrumental music on in the background. Comforting right? Oh yes i agree. Anyway it has been a while since i did a RR but here we are back again! 

There's been a lot to write about but i have expressed my worries, rants, concerns and feelings into my gorgeous girlfriend instead, so i aswell as she could take a load off our heads and just get back to feeling good and moving in a rhythm. BUT lately this year, well hey, we are at the end of April and for me this year has been............TERRIBLE! 

It's a shocking, upsetting, depressing, year and my mental health has fluctuated a whole lot! 

I won't go into everything that has happened this year but; I have lost my nan, lost someone else close, had arguments, we are in a world emergency crisis and locked-down so unable to see my woman or any of my loved ones or friends, I've had toxic people try to control me and my mrs and one tried to use us as scape goats and that my dear readers is not what a friend is or does, regardless of history with said person you do not do that to a friend or anyone ever!

So yeah this lockdown has come to be and it's added more stresses and more cracks are being unearthed in my foundations of mental stability. I am cracking under all that i have gone through this year, i am cracking up under all this lockdown and quarantine nonsense, i'm cracking, i am breaking.

Each time i think or say it cannot possibly get any worse, it does something happens and makes me breakdown uncontrollably and cry or feel angry or frustrated. The most dangerous thing right now in all this lock-down is being locked inside our minds with the negative thoughts.

We all need to take care and go gentle on ourselves!

I am a grown ass man and i have my feelings and i am very much in tone with those feelings i am a highly sensitive person and i am not ashamed to admit that i feel things and that i cry. I recently for the first time in my life cried in my shower that's how broken things are for me at this moment in time as i type all this out loud, as i cry again from my head being such a horrible force to go against me, it feels as if its trying to ruin things trying to make me not have nice things to sabotage my own happiness like.

It's fucking insane! 

It's insane to feel so broken in yourself too. It's crazy to feel insecure about yourself but also so highly emotional and to be a person with such strong empathy like myself its bloody hard too. It's hard when you feel so much that you care so much about every single little thing and how you must want everything to run perfect and smoothly too but it does not so you make back ups and back ups of back ups and so many back ups that you are backed up of back ups.

Got no work, can't see my mrs, family or friends, I can't really go anywhere and do anything because it's only shopping or exercise locally or face a fine or possible jail time in this crisis.

Only thing good about the Corona-apocalypse is the memes.
People need to stop hoarding items mind you and stop lighting grass fires and stop fly tipping!

I am living with so much trauma and grief right now. 

I hope you are doing better than me.

I will be bright as a diamond again soon!

Remember to stay shiny! 

Better days are coming!