The Signs Are There

Many signs appeared whilst I was talking and falling madly in love with this amazing woman, my Elli. There's been posts online, there's been music playing and thoughts and dreams. She has had my heart for a while. It took me a long time to talk with her, and took me a short amount of time for me to fall in love with her. I was afraid and anxious to love again, to allow myself, but she made it so effortless and easy for me to fall, she was herself, she was caring, accepting, loving. She gave me comfort and peace with her arms and soul. There were times I was talking to her, and she'd do something or say something, and I'd feel my heart race and my brain melt, and I was just holding back my mouth from saying "I love you" and the first time I said it to her, I felt so flustered, and my head was like "Oh my god what did you say? Why did you let that come out, what if she doesn't feel the" and she replied with a cute red face "I love you too". I said I liked her, and she was like "Oh really, I couldn't tell" with that cute confident smirk on her face. It was a rush, it was so exhilarating, and it still is, and she still makes my heart race and mind melt by the things she says and does. She can look at me and just the whole world stops, and I get my breath taken away. I am really thankful and lucky and grateful for her. 

I always had a crush on her, she was always so lovely and smart and pretty. Getting to know her as a person better just opened up my eyes and increased the size of my heart because I love her and I want to share a life with her, that's why I've got to ask her out. I really want to be her man. She's the sprinkles to my doughnut.

I plan to ask her for valentine's unless some sort of perfect day happens and changes that for me. I miss her and can't wait to see her again in person and to hold her.

I was getting tired of trying of waiting on meeting someone and that I stopped looking. I was focused on myself, when we both appeared back into each other's lives. I have seen her in my workplace for the first time in years and I wanted to wrap my arms around her so much because she looked so troubled and upset, I didn't want to be awkward, and I was shy and that's why I didn't message or talk to her for years. I was shy and felt it to be awkward, or I'd be a bother. Little did I know that my overthinking mind was so wrong.....

I thought the "love" I had and had to give, and that mushy side was all dead and gone, I thought I had ripped it out and buried it and left it for dead because of my past hurt and trauma and to overcome it, I felt it was best to remove it and just focus on myself. The focus on myself has helped me become better and stronger, but this amazing woman has brought my lovey side back from the dead. We are genuine and beautiful souls, and we attracted one another. Soon was replaced by finally when we met in my workplace and when we snuck around. I can't wait for finally to be here again where we are free and open to do what we want and when we want.

We were far away from each other on my birthday, but we still made every effort to message. I always aim to spend my life with people who make me feel seen, heard, cared about and loved, and she makes me feel all that and more. She's done more in a month than anyone else has in my past. I stay patient and try my best to, despite how much I miss her and want to see her and need to see her all free and happy and just here with me.

I was strong in 2023, the strength opened my eyes. I'm coming back and getting my happiness this year, and I'm getting everything else I've wanted and more. 2020-2022 changed and broke me and left me scarred, afraid, sad and left me for dead. I'm so happy to have found myself and an amazing lady I can't wait to date and go on epic adventures with.

I just want to look after her, hold her, and give her everything she deserves and more and treat her like the best woman to ever exist and how I think she deserves to be treated and that's because, I love her, and she deserves the best and I always give the best and always plan to. I want to help her with anything and through anything. Furthermore, I want to grow with her and grow together and build a life we are happy and proud of. We both give each other a lot of time, effort, care, trust and love, and we make a great team and are determined to be each other's last in life and to have the bestest life together.

Random Ramblin's 49 - It's Been A While

So here I am early hours of the morning on the 1st of August 2022, wide awake, listening to music. The usual (I guess). I am here trying to figure out how to write this. I been going between two minds for a while about writing another Random Ramblin's (which is a series of blog posts I do here on my blog which operate sorta like diary entries and place I go to share news and my mind and rant about.)

There's so much that has happened since my last entry, honestly. It's been a hell of a life, is what I have been saying as I have gone through a lot mentally and even physically these past few months to well, almost a year actually.

When was the last time I did a RR? *goes to look up last entry* Ah yes.....September 2021 and it's now.....August 2022. Wow! Time sure does fly! Anyway *Thinks to himself "what the hell do I write about? why am I doing this? why am I talking in my head and also writing this down?" SIGHS* 

Well without further ado, THIS....IS.......

RANDOM RAMBLIN'S!!!!

Alright, alright, alright. First off,

HOW ARE YOU?!

I hope you are well!

LIFE

How am I? Oh well thanks for asking, at the moment I am tired and in a lot of back pain from my new job. Oh yes! I have a new job well this is another another new job. Yes I quit my previous employer the cinema back in April. Also back in April my GF broke up with me but to be honest it looks like she left me for someone else, BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT I digress and this is just from MY VIEW after all and with all due respect, I won't say anything more on this matter. I do miss that Cinema job I'd be lying if I said otherwise.

ANYWAY I quit my Cwtchy cinema job to go work in a care home and It was great BUT I have/had a lot of unsolved trauma and I had so many memories pour back into me with dealing with Dementia residents because of my Nan who I sadly lost 2 years ago. The care home job was not for me at this time being sadly. In the months of May - July, I did not sign on to the Dole as it were and rather I was applying for work and having 2 interviews a week and eventually I landed the job I am in now and you know what, It's hard work right BUT I am liking it. What's my new role? Well I work as a Bartender in a restaurant and it's not as easy as it sounds or looks chief but hey I am enjoying it on most days. 

The past 5 months or so have definitely been a rebuild period for myself. Mentally and physically. It's tough and goes to show a lot of shit catches up to you and ruins you. I'm still on the mend from a lot of mental and physical issues but by taking the right steps daily and recognising when you need help and treatment is important and getting it is even more important and significant. I need to correct my posture and weight more really. I'm a work in progress and I always will be. Destroying bad habits and old habits takes time and a lot of energy and effort and consciousness (let's be fair) to make it all work and run smoothly. So just be aware of what's going on with yourself in your mind and body and try and sort any issues to save yourself in the future. Cheers for reading this bit of ramblin hehe. 😊👍

Unrelated but I have been watching a lot of Bill Burr stand up and Paul Smith stand up. 

Both fantastic comedians and I recommend giving them a nose. 

Wrestling

What a mad few months it has been for the wrestling world. Vince is gone from WWE and HHH is in charge due to the allegations against Vince making him retire from his duties with WWE.

In September WWE has their biggest PPV taking place in Cardiff, Wales and OF COURSE I AM GOING!!!!!

Film & Tv

Shocking and sad news with TV and Film land as Warner Bros have cancelled many films and TV shows including the Scoob sequel and the Batgirl film.

Dragonball Super: Superhero has released and it's incredible and so awesome!

Cw has called time on The Flash with season 9 being the last season and its also the shortest season as its been issued for only 13 episodes.

Gaming

Fortnite X Dragonball Super collab is probably Fort's best collab ever made, it is hella fun!

Music & Gigs

Machine Head, Slipknot and Five Finger Death Punch all got new album is out soon. (as of writing they are due to be released end of August and into September)

I am also seeing Machine Head and Amon Amarth in September!

Also seeing Corey Taylor in October!

Might see Three Days Grace in September but unsure yet it as it depends on my schedule and income.

Anyway that's all I got time for this week Basil haha.

Check me out on youtube & tiktok if you are bored or in need of a laugh.

If you need someone to talk to please give me a message anytime too!

Be well and be safe people!

I am also on Letterboxd so if you want to see my ratings or some reviews for films, join me there!

https://letterboxd.com/scotty2jonesy

Thanks for reading and visiting my blog today.

Feel free to check out other blog post's I have made.

Stay Shiny!

Slipknot - A write up

So myself and my beautiful Girlfriend watched the BBC documentary on Slipknot all out life and she had many questions so i have decided to compile a bunch of information for her and anyone else to understand Slipknot more and i have provided info via my memory and via the wiki on them to compile a quite in-depth look at the biggest metal band going strong today. 

Slipknot is an American nu-metal band from Des Moines, Iowa. The band was founded in 1995 by percussionist Shawn Crahan, drummer Joey Jordison and bassist Paul Gray. After several lineup changes in its early years, the band settled on nine members for more than a decade: Crahan, Jordison, Gray, Craig Jones, Mick Thomson, Corey Taylor, Sid Wilson, Chris Fehn, and Jim Root. Gray died on May 24, 2010, and was replaced during 2011–2014 by guitarist Donnie Steele. Jordison was dismissed from the band on December 12, 2013. Steele left during the recording sessions for .5: The Gray Chapter. The band found replacements in Alessandro Venturella on bass and Jay Weinberg on drums. After the departure of Jordison, as of December 2013 the only founding member in the current lineup is percussionist Crahan. Fehn was also dismissed from the band in March of 2019 prior to the writing of We Are Not Your Kind. Joey Jordison suggested naming the band Slipknot, after a song they had made on their debut album mate, feed, kill, repeat. Slipknot's fans are called maggots why? Corey and Crahan once said in an interview they were doing a show with a large number of people, and when they looked at the crowd, they looked like writhing maggots jumping around, so they decided to call them that henceforth.

Slipknot 1999

Slipknot 2019

Slipknot is well known for its attention-grabbing image, aggressive style of music, and energetic and chaotic live shows. The band rapidly rose to fame following the release of their eponymous debut album in 1999. The 2001 follow-up album, Iowa, although darker in tone, made the band more popular. After a brief hiatus, Slipknot returned in 2004 with Vol. 3: (The Subliminal Verses), before going on another hiatus and returning in 2008 with its fourth album, All Hope Is Gone, which debuted at number one on the Billboard 200 chart. After another long hiatus, Slipknot released its fifth studio album, .5: The Gray Chapter, in 2014. Their sixth studio album, We Are Not Your Kind, was released on August 9, 2019. The band has sold 30 million records worldwide as of writing. In early 2000, Slipknot was certified platinum; a first for an album released by Roadrunner Records. 2006 saw Slipknot win their first Grammy Award, picking up the Best Metal Performance award for the single "Before I Forget".The single went on to be featured on the set list of Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock. Slipknot's first annual music festival, called Knotfest, was held on August 17, 2012, in Iowa. The festival also debuted a Slipknot museum. "The Negative One" was nominated for the 2014 Grammy Award for Best Metal Performance at the 57th Annual Grammy Awards. Slipknot have been nominated for ten Grammy Awards and have won one.

The band's sound typically features a heavily down-tuned guitar setup, a large percussive section, sampling, keyboards and DJ'ing. Using a variety of vocal styles, the music typically features growled vocals, screaming, backing vocals, as well as melodic singing. The band has continually experimented with its sound. Slipknot's lyrics are generally very aggressive; they sometimes include profanity while exploring themes such as darkness, nihilism, anger, disaffection, love, misanthropy, and psychosis. They often draw upon topics including the music industry, politics, personal strife, and reflection, among others. 

The members perform wearing unique, individual facemasks and matching uniforms typically jumpsuits while each member is typically assigned and referred to by number based on their role in the band, although the latter practice has diminished following the death of Paul Gray. The band has said the idea of wearing masks stemmed from a clown mask that Crahan took to rehearsals when the band first started. The concept developed; by late 1997, the band decided every band member would wear a unique mask and matching jumpsuit. Taylor said in 2002, "it's our way of becoming more intimate with the music. It's a way for us to become unconscious of who we are and what we do outside of music. It's a way for us to kind of crawl inside it and be able to use it." The concept of wearing matching jumpsuits has been described as a response to commercialism in the music industry and led to the idea of assigning the band members numerical aliases. According to Taylor, "Originally, we were just going to wear the jumpsuits, we figured we might as well take that further and number ourselves. We were basically saying, 'Hey, we're a product!'".

During their careers, the members of Slipknot have developed their images, updating their uniforms and each member's mask upon the release of each album. Jordison, in an interview in 2004, said the masks are updated to show growth within each individual. Slipknot's members have worn special masks for specific occasions, most notably for the music video and live performances of "Vermilion" in 2004 and 2005 when they wore life masks made from casts of their own faces.  In 2008, the band wore a set of large masks titled "purgatory masks" during photograph shoots before the release of All Hope Is Gone; in the music video for "Psychosocial" they are seen burning them. The band's image has been the subject of much criticism and controversy, with critics generally accusing it of being a sales gimmick. The band's members object to these claims; according to them the masks are used to divert attention from themselves and put it on the music. Several band members have said wearing the masks helps to maintain privacy in their personal lives. During an interview in 2005, percussionist Fehn said the masks were a "blessing" because they meant the members are not recognised in public.

An essential element for the band's image is the Slipknot logo. The nonagram was created by the band's members around the same time the band was founded. The nonagram is arguably the best-known sigil of Slipknot and it represents a 9-point star, a symbol of unity, loyalty, friendship and remembrance. Despite popular belief, the nonagram is not a Satanist symbol and instead represents Slipknot's "battle with the fake world.". 

Slipknot's music and image have been the subject of many controversies throughout its career. The lyrical content of some of Slipknot's songs has been linked to several violent and criminal incidents. In 2003, two young killers blamed the lyrics of "Disasterpiece" for their crime. In 2006, the lyrics of "Surfacing" were found at the site of a grave robbery. In 2008, Corey Taylor commented on a slashing incident at a South African school to which Slipknot was linked; he said: "obviously, I'm disturbed by the fact that people were hurt and someone died, as far as my responsibility for that goes, it stops there, because I know our message is actually very positive and there are always going to be mental disorders and people who cause violence for no other reason than the fact that they're fucked up and lost." Also the band has had a notable fued with Mushroomhead and Burger King. 

Someone last year compiled a list of words most used in Slipknots song catalogue.

Here is the 10 slipknot songs i utterly loved when i ranked them in 2016 and there's been newer songs since obviously but this is pretty good as it is. So do look this up once you have read all this :) - https://1stmetalgodsblog.blogspot.com/2016/09/top-10-slipknot-songs.html 

This has me telling you my interpretations of the songs on the list also. I have compiled what i can at best. 

Stay shiny and thanks for reading!

Stay safe during the caronavirus pandemic too people!