Being A Dad In Pregnancy Is Hard

No one ever told me how much I'd be asked daily so many questions about my unborn child. No one prepared me for the annoyance of so many voices and so many people trying to have their say on an unborn child that's not theirs or even related to them.

The easy part was all the appointments and running around and gathering items ready for the baby. The hard part was dealing with people.

That last one is so confusing, well let me tell you how annoying it is, to work retail and serve and see the same customers almost every day who pester you for news and information about your baby. I told you yesterday Charlotte, the baby is fine still cooking no news!!!

Stop sending me name suggestions when I don't ask. I appreciate you wanted to call your boy or girl this name or that name and ended up with another but I don't want your names. I want to give them one of me and my partner choosing.

I have told you a due date, please stop asking me when they are due.

I have also told you their gender because so many voices "needed" to know what he is going to be. Why do you "need" to know? We don't want you to go out and buy things for us, we appreciate the thought but please save your money, a card would be fine to say congratulations. That's not me being rude I just don't want people being silly about it, a gender neutral outfit is lovely we do really appreciate it but again we don't want people throwing money away on us haha. Again I'm not trying to be ungrateful or anything, it's the opposite. I suppose this is a response to being overwhelmed. Not feeling like deserve it.

Where's the baby/how's the baby? Well when I was bombarded with this question every day before I went on my paternity leave, the answer was that he's still growing and ok and oh look I've already answered this question again.

"Tell me soon as they are born I need to know everything and you need to show me" - NO! Demands will be met with a FUCK OFF. Don't you dare say such stupid shit and make your demands it's MY BABY and not your circus monkey. This isn't show and tell. I'll tell and show when I'm fucking ready.

There's so much I've been asked and repeated daily and my baby is almost here and then I'll be back to work so I'll probably take note and be annoyed again at the repeat in questions again that make my head crumble.

Late Night Random Ramblin's Vol13- Am I Being Discriminated?

What a title, catches your eyes right? Well folks in today's story time allow me to rant and get shit off my chest, It's been a long time coming.

So I weigh 30 stone ok, not the best sure but I am also 6ft 3. So I'm not really too out there I'd argue. Yeah when you look at me and my wife there's a stark difference but we love eachother endlessly so yeah mind ya business and stop judging.

Since 2020 COVID, I've been fluctuating with weight going from 25 stone to 32 stone and during that time I was giving blood with the Welsh blood service. Fast forward to 2021 they told me they couldn't take my blood because I had a new growth on my hand which was just a ganglion cyst so they wanted me to do some tests and come back to them with proof that it's not a tumor and anything else scary. So then after numerous tests and a few months later to 2022 they are fine and taking my blood again then 2023 they tell me I can't give blood because I was taking painkillers for a headache. Then later in 2023 I can't give blood again because I said to them a few days ago I was on antibiotics for a chest infection and again they declined me. So then last year they have new settings and I had to declare my weight and height and other things to them for reasons unknown so then they told me because of my weight being 30 stone they cannot put me in their chairs as they have a max weight of 20 stone, yet I have been in their chairs and been more than the recommended amount and they have taken my blood with no problems. It's rediculous and a waste of time, so now if I need to give blood I have to go to hospital in Llantrisant to lay in their hospital beds to do so🙄

Let's now talk about my dentist. So I've gone to my dentist since I had teeth, that's a long time like almost 30 years right? So remember now during COVID I've gone from 25 stone to 30 stone right and I'm at 30 stone again. Last time I seen my dentist prior to end of May was back in January and in January I had a check up as normal for the past 20 years, chair goes back I get glasses and a bib on and get my teeth looked at and done right? Well this past week I've had the worse toothache ever and she didn't know what it was and also asked me about my weight before she did any work and she said due to the chair being only able to hold up to 20 stone that she couldn't help me and she'd have to refer me to someone else for any work I needed now. Which is absolutely fucking stupid and also please know I'm paying this dentist £10 a month....for what!? My fillings have cost me hundreds of pounds per filling and she's given me half my mouth full of them!!! So I went back today a few days after writing the last paragraph to get my review for my tooth pain, basically she didn't even see me or allow me to sit down in her chair and I explained about the pain and how it's lessened since last week, however I've now got mouth ulcers. One is at front of my mouth and the other is on the gum by the problematic tooth. She said "ok I can't do nothing more, your overweight capacity for my new chair so I'll refer you to another dentist and I'll see you when you have lost weight. You can get fat jabs off the drs now so try them and see you when you have lost the weight." 🙄 Fucking joke. I don't want to use jabs because 1: The haven't been fully studied and have dangerous side effects. 2: it feels like I'd have cheated to get the weight off. I rather work it off and stand with pride about that, BUT it is hard to lose weight. I am in a lot of pain and struggle with my feet or knees and everytime I've lost weight it's been hard to keep at it because of my pains or sickness or then because of my hunger is too great. It's fucking hard!

Clothing shops on high streets I can't go to BUT I've finally found one I can shop at! Yours clothing shop in Swansea, it caters to big men with their fabulous downstairs department. That's the first time I've ever gone into a clothes shop and spent over £100 recently. That's crazy!!!!

I can't sleep. I got so many things stressing me out and I just want peace. I want the good old days, no cares, no bills, chilling with gaming and good films. I feel like I can't breathe and it makes me miss some solitude and gaming for long sessions. I'm tired, I'm hurt, I need to get this off my chest, I just need some support. I need some peace also. I just need something else, something more.....something....

Late Night Random Ramblin's Vol 12 - A New Rant

Just because you work at a nursery doesn't give you power and doesn't mean you get everything you want for nothing. My Mrs works in a nursery and doesn't go round shops asking people to take money off items because she works in a nursery. Fuck off Jeff. 

If you are going to stand bone idle in a door way and give a stinking look when I try to pass you, maybe take it as indication to move your stupid brain. 

The price is the price and you won't always have items for fuck all, there will be times I will let you off but for fuck sake mun, you are not skint Dorothy, you are on the dole. 

You can't just take things you need to pay for them so don't give it all mouth Derick, you fucking Mongolian chicken dance. 

There's signs saying no donations don't walk through the back door to give us donations at the til you silly skank. 

I'm sorry but charity cases can't just stroll into the shop and want everything for nothing. Rules are rules and we need to make profits ok Charlotte. 

If I share someone else post more than yours it's because I see theirs more than yours and it doesn't mean I am bullying some random fucking person I've never met before. It's like saying a random bloke in supermarket took the last pot noodle and so that's harassment. Fuck off jive. 

Jealous & Frustrated

I'm envious of those with more money than myself at this time. I'm jealous of those living their best lives with homes and luxurious holidays. Jealous of those with good paying jobs. 😔

I work hard, the role is often a drain because how boring and tedious it can be but I seek and apply for new roles only to not hear back or be put on hold.😓

I've had a lovely holiday this month the first in 2 years with my gf and I spent quite a bit, to be expected of course. It was worth it and I'd do it again in a heartbeat ❤️

The lack of hours at my employment however is frustrating and no extra hours or options to go cover another location have become available. I gained a new qualification but I need to gain experience to earn a placement so the next time something comes up I will be applying. 🤞

For now I am jealous and comparing my life to others and I want more in this life. I shouldn't compare but my head isn't right, it's in a rut wishing for better because it's frustrated and jealous and maybe tired of not having what I should be having. 🥺

I'm so frustrated lately. I hunger for more money for more fruit of life. I want more hours with work. I want more money. I want to go abroad. I want to do more.

Do more with my favourite person, my Mrs and take her nice places and treat her to good meals. I want more so badly. It's driving me mad, it's irritating me, angering me, it's frustrating me.

Makes me sad and feel left out to not have income and not do something, anything. I have bills to pay. Family members I wish to pay back for their time and for still giving me a roof over my head and food and water and electricity. I want to do more, I want to be successful. I want to help others and get a sense of feeling accomplishment.

Getting cabin fever stuck at home, I'm itching to do more. What more can I do, I'm applying for other work. Done online course recently for SEN Teaching and Autism Awareness. I wanna do more heavy lifting in the gym, I wish I had my own machines and equipment at home.

This too shall pass but for now I am venting my frustration in the ever lasting lack of employment hours and lack of money and the rising costs of living.

Late Night Ramblin's: Vol 11 - Reflecting On My Use Of Social Media

I started getting onto social media back in 2009. Facebook, Youtube, Bebo, MSN Messenger were the first of those sites. Later came Instagram, Facebook, Twitch, TikTok and maybe some others that I no longer remember haha.

When I joined Facebook for a few years, I was addicted and took it as a competition to how many friends you have and would add random people who had similar interests or who had good convos with online in the comments section and yes some of them I still talk to today. Others are long gone and dust in the wind, to many there was nothing evil behind the nature of why I stopped talking or removed them from my Facebook account. Over time, I grew to realize I should not be so open and trusting of strangers and also just keep to people who actually know me and I see or talk to often or who I actually like. Instagram had the same treatment when I joined that site, I'd let anyone follow me and grow my followers, I did have 300 followers, but then I realized not many were liking my stuff or seeing my posts and some become inactive accounts, so I had to clear a lot of that out. There has been one person I did not want to unfollow or remove as a friend, and she did nothing wrong, but in the pandemic I was in a bad mentality of believing no one liked me or cared about me, and I was not hearing off some people or seeing them, and so they were removed for that reason. No one also tells you how addicting it can be to get likes, but over time I have cared less about that whole thing. My social media now is just keep in touch with friends and family and keep highlights and photos for memories. I have been a fool as I have grown up with social media and yes absolutely posted cringe photos and posts and rants. 

When I joined Twitter aka X, It was literally to talk to celebs, wrestlers, bands because that website launched and everyone was saying how "All the celebs are really on there and use that" and It's always a rush when a famous face likes or retweets or replies to you in any way shape or form. I never expect it and screenshot and keep record of those moments because it is just an unexpected rush of happiness. I have been a dumbass on Twitter too and posted cringe and argued over silly and stupid things because I was a stupid teenager. These days I just use Twitter to talk to my friends I made there in America who only use Twitter.

YouTube, I cared about getting views but never had the funds to get better equipment and to get the better views and quality content from gaming. When I finally had a capture card system for my XBOX 360 it was something I could not set up and any help I had well no one could get it to work with my laptop and Xbox, it was weird and a shame it did not work out. Yes these days I do still do YOUTUBE, but I rarely post and the videos are just for my friends and for memory's sake at this point as I capture our dumb and funny moments gaming and any glitches haha. 

TikTok I joined in Pandemic as I was sick of friends sending me stuff and then had to click to try and watch on the app and download the app, and eventually I made one and made some TikToks that I thought be fun to do or chime in on and yeah I ain't posted on there in months. YouTube and TikTok have given me plenty of warnings and content removals, and that does dampen the fun and experience of those sites.

Twitch, I only use twitch to talk to friends and watch their stuff now and again, I don't make content there at all. Msn, Skype & Bebo I used early on in my social life and those sites have been dead for years. Just used to talk to friends on there and that was it. Discord is another I delete and got back a few times because of friends. I mainly use Discord to talk to one of my English friends there, as he hates social media and is not on any now. Snapchat I use every day, mostly talking to my pretty lady or my friends or old friends from work. Whatsapp, I only use for work, nothing else.

So yes, in closing, my use of social media has dwindled down over the years, and now they are treated as conversation points and highlight reels. It is crazy to look back at it all and think in the last 20 years of how much has changed, yes it's not quite 20 years yet, but it's close. Youtube was so good before Google took over. Facebook had games, and now it's trying to be its own cyberverse thing being dubbed Meta and of course Facebook owns more than just Facebook now.

Late Night Ramblin's Vol10 - The Friend Crisis

 So it's currently the 20th October, it's late, and I am wide awake. Something is bothering me..... I did have a mini rant on my closed friend Instagram stories and the rant was basically about one of my friends and how it feels like he is neglecting his true friends and how no matter his down-and-out state he never seems to listen to advice or take any help and continues to just thrive around in his muddy mind. 

Read the next few images to get what was on my mind and how I have been feeling lately....if my friend is reading this just know this is just out of love and care and frustration, I want what is best for you, and obviously I don't want to feel like i have been replaced or discarded, and I don't want excuses from you, I want the truth and just want to help you. I may regret saying all this or posting this, and I am sorry just, i needed to get this off my chest and mind because it was suffocating me. 

So yeah, am I right in what I say and been feeling? Or am I just going insane and being delusional or jealous or whatever else. I think it's just my caring nature and wanting better for my friend. I have seen him through these situations many times, but this time seems to be the worst of them all. Anyway, It's been a crappy week for me just some stuff going on, I'll be fine soon, and I got Electric Callboy LIVE soon, so I am hyper hyper for that haha. 

STOP THE SPOILERS - RANT

Guys, can we all stop spoiling the big things. The most highly anticipated game of the year for me being Spider-Man 2 ps5, I've seen an abundance of spoilers prior to it's release and it's infuriating for me.

Its a highly anticipated massive game for me and a highlight of the year and something I have been waiting years for and to see and hear so many spoilers is upsetting and a total pisstake.

I've blocked and muted over 50 people. I've muted every single keyword associated with Spider-Man and the fact I'm seeing spoilers slip through the filters and gaps thanks to "recommended videos" and "tweets you may like" is fucking rediculous!

I am sorry but I have taken all the correct measures and for me to still see spoils even when I look up unrelated content to Spiderman or games is abysmal!

I get it for journalists to share bits and bobs for the game for promotions and their jobs but no major spoilers please. What's worse is the random and new accounts popping up spreading spoilers to ruin the game and experience for others just out of spite. This is happening far too often. Why can't people be more respectful and why can't people be more secretive until after a game has released. The playtesters or reviewers for the games need to sign a foolproof NDA of the game and if any info slips and comes back to them well sorry but those people should be removed from that studio. It's wrong. Whoever is leaking endings of films and games needs some sort of action taken against them. We need to stop this happening.

I am fed up of this bullshit!

I am writing this post full of disgust and annoyance. I don't wish to upset anyone and I don't wish to spoil anything for anyone.

Please respectfully enjoy the game in peace and quiet.

Youtube Kills Pain Quest

Dear YouTube,

A video that was released onto my YouTube channel 1stmetalgod was permanently removed via YouTube team on Wednesday 12th July at 1pm. The video was Pain Quest 3 part 2 (hardcore) it contained myself, James Evans and Lewis Griffiths. The video as with any Pain Quest video is starring James Evans hurting himself for the entertainment of others and for a bit of fun and laughs you know. James is fine and was fine from all filming of any PQ related content.

James Evans spawned this series with me filming all for our joint love of Jackass quite frankly. Myself, James and Lewis were all over the age of 18 during the filming. James was the only one being harmed, but you know he consented. YouTube after 12 years of no problems decided to target the video and declare that the video PQ3 Hardcore had scenes of child endangerment, no children were featured, filmed nor harmed in the video, again we are 3 men we are all over the age of 18 in the video. Lewis was the youngest of us at 18, and he did not get hurt. I was filming and I did not get hurt. James got hurt but only got bruises at the best, no major harm or injuries. We never went as far as trying to break any bones with James we and he only did what he wanted to and was comfortable with.

I disputed YouTube's claim as false and provided my evidence and however YouTube did not like what I had to say and they re-reviewed their claim and the video and still then flagged the video as child endangerment and have permanently removed the video from the website. This is a tragic shame for such a small and old YouTube content creator such as myself. There are worse things on YT that are still there. Yet an entertainment purposed video full of laughs is taken down falsely.

I am now unable to do anything further and have lost an old video for wrongful doings. YouTube your entire team are a bunch of dumb cunts, let's be honest. Since Google bought YT out and remodelled the team, they have no fucking braincell's amongst them. No doubt YT are doing to eventually come for the rest of the Pain Quest videos. Stupid fucking snowflakes concentrating on the wrong issues. So dearest YouTube cuck team you better come hard and fast because once you take the other 17 videos down, I will leave your stupid fucking website. 

Fuck YouTube!

Yours fuckingly,

1stmetalgod.

Whats Wrong?

What do I have to do? No, what do I need to do? To get noticed to get seen, to make more money, to be more bling. I need more views, I need more subs, girl if you see my content say what's up? Follow me on all the socials you know I can make you swallow. I swallow my pride and cast my ego aside to take in more eyes, so I may gain the follow train. I've been up and down and all around, I've been heavy, and I've been weightless, you don't know how much I need this. I need change, I need to go, give me some dough and watch the viewers roll, see how they roll around on the floor, from laughter with tears streaming and the fools crying please give me more. Well I'll give you all I got, it's me I'm a god-damn comedian tree with the water source coming from my friends and family. You don't know how underrated my socials can be, so please come see and become one with peak. Like, follow and subscribe for more from the one who knows the score, he's the bfg, the 1MG it's scotty J at the scene, ready to take the W and make the community clean. So before you go, you should know, I have been grafting at life and entertainment for almost 30 years, and it's not easy, it's been tough but with your help and some luck, it will all be enough.

I'm Sick Of It All

I'm sick of losing my motivation, I'm sick of losing my inspiration, I'm sick of being told what to do, I'm sick of being told I'm not good enough, I'm sick of people making assumptions based on my weight or words I say at interviews today.

I try and try and try my hardest to learn about companies before I apply and prune my CV to make sure I fit the criteria, if I didn't then why would I have applied? I am sick of being overlooked, you sit there silently listening to all my nervous thoughts and words knowing that within the first 2 seconds you have already deemed me not for you because I'm tall and fat and because you won't hire me because I'm older than the other applicants. Yes, you will pay me more, but you get experience, punctuality, dedication and hard work. Some of these youngsters you companies go out and hire quit after a week or cause you headaches because you got to pour so much training and development into them, when someone who has experience takes less time. It's cruel, and you all think you are smart by not publicly saying the issues you have with me, but I know the issues are deeper down than just "oh we had too many applications at this time" or the other usual copy and paste bullshit "you did not match the criteria at this time please try again in another 6 months". They say they will explain more on why you were unsuccessful, but they never reply, these crafty fuckers couldn't even look me in the eyes during an interview, so why would they even give me some Constructive feedback? It's not in their interests or fake smiling kind hearts. Lies and bullshit over and over rinse and repeat the process. 

If I miss your call please leave me a message at the tone and let me know your number, and when is the best time to call you back? I'm sick of people calling me when I'm driving or in work and then not leaving a number or message on who it is and what the call is regarding. Not everyone is a mind reader and not everyone is able to answer the phone 24/7!

How's a man supposed to live with £100 a week? This shit is worse than the job centre but to be fair the shit I do is more satisfying than what the job centre would have me do. Plus if you don't lie down and be a good dog the government run job centre will punish you and stop paying you for months because of their stupid little beliefs. If a dog stands up they piss themselves and call over Roider Roger on security to take you down for a beating and then the job centre "advisor" will piss upon your damaged soul and announce that your payments have been put on hold. They then pawn you off to be on the phone for 12 hours on hold listening to William overtell on repeat while they then answer with no sympathy to tell you that your claim will be talked about during a civil meeting, but it's never civil, nothing job centre wise is, it's just "sit here and listen and obey us you filthy mutt because we are in the right, and you are wrong!" Thanks, Shelly, you have been a most helpful cunt, you have actually helped me find the clitoris because you are one massive walking talking one.

You slave and slave 6/8/12/15 hours a day of your life to someone and swear loyalty and break your ass and your jaw being paid minimum, but everyone can see that you do so much more. The people you serve will laugh and smile and say "oh I bet the perks are nice" no they are mediocre at best, I just want money and hours not pain and 15% off. They will all boast and say "our team is the best" taking all the credit and double the money the team should make. You got other managers saying "hey team we are going to reward your handwork" and you get excited and wait on bated breath, only to be told "we got 3 medium pizzas for all the team, for your efforts" Gee thanks I can pay off my bills now that I have had a slice of Ham & Cheese Za.

You could be having a good day when Karen and Kyle and their group of runaway bandits walk in and terrorize the place and all the staff members. Karen will demand to see the manager when she does not get things her way and Kyle will threaten to hit you and throw his drink or food all over the floor while he pickpockets items in the queue. Karen the only manager you will be seeing is black eye mcgee lovely. Kyle stop being a melt ya filthy Carrot and take away your foster home for imaginary kids outta here before they go up for adoption.

Do this and do that, cheers Robyn I already am if you would kindly open your eyes and see, you Brussel sprout. "You should be out of the house by now and in your own home with your own family by this age" Cheers Daaaad, but the government has made that dream an IMPOSSIBILITY!

The government needs to fuck up. They are again culling old and vulnerable people and families of all ages because they allow the greed of companies to succeed because they get a cut, so their pockets are lined up, and they can now buy a new home from money they stole. These filthy greedy wanking gas and energy companies are all laughing and smugly shouting out to the world that "we have to make killer profits!" yeah you have by killing and robbing people, and now you are laughing and proudly yelling about it, go get fucked in the ass and jump off a bridge into the hardest fucking rocks on Earth.

"Wah waah this actor said something that's not nice" Learn to take a joke and note how times have changed and how so can people you stupid vegetable. John Wayne has been dead for 50 years grow up and leave him and his remaining family alone.

I can be a determined machine when all my gears are lined up and going physically and mentally, but if I'm tired or hurt I slip up, and it takes time to get those gears turning again which halts my breakthroughs and progress, and it's a shame, and I am sick of it happening.

I'm sick of people not understanding. All I want is support and be understood, and a hug does not harm either. Give me a chance. Help me out. Give me tips, show me a better way to get a new job, to not be nervous for interviews. I'm overdue my break. Please.

Late Night Ramblin's - Vol 7: Rise!

In 2018, I started a series of late night blog's, they were random ramblin's but more serious and about myself and mostly just about what was on my mind late at night, although the series did turn to me trying to motivate myself and keep that going. Well after 6 posts the late night series kinda dipped and stopped and so, now I resume the series!

I'll always be shocked and just in disbelief and react weird or hesitant to someone giving me something or helping me with something when I didn't ask for help. I appreciate it so much, but I'm just not used to that so that's why I will be hesitant. Furthermore, I'm Sorry but thank you🙏🥺

I've been fighting and crawling my entire life. Since I was born broken into the world and since my childhood fighting against a broken leg and against bullying. I've fought and crawled in and out of all sorts of relationships from friends to partners. I've fought and crawled through a lot of grief and a lot of mental health and physical struggles and financial. No matter how many times I've thought or plotted or said I'd take my self out of life, I have not, and I am still here! Keep on going! No matter what!

Weight loss via exercise and lifestyle change is much harder and respected than hospital operations. Pay to win, to lose weight? No. Work hard and scrape and crawl and fight aches and pains and strains and hunger off? Yes. Slim tablets make no sense to me nor does keyhole surgery. Just do intermittent fasting. It's not easy at all but changing your lifestyle to a more disciplined one will cause a lot of positive changes to your mental health, I swear by this. Keep going!

These energy companies being all pompous about their "Record breaking profits" need a reality check. If they are making three times more money than they were 3 years ago then why not pass on to your customers a cut in their energy bills? You've made more profits than you had imagined or planned making, so why not help out your own customers? They are effectively lining their own pockets with their greedy blood soaked hands while so many people suffer and struggle and leave people to die. It's the same with the government. Why are we the people being made to suffer, why can't we all just make a stand against those crooks? At this point, I welcome another Guy Fawkes or Robin Hood with open arms.

The past year I've lost a few friends. It does make me sad when I think back of them. I won't ever know why they stopped messaging or meeting up and hanging out. I am forever grateful to those who have stayed in my life and those who even if I don't see you that they still check in on me. In April last year my life took a nasty shift of which I am still recovering from. Like many people I am struggling to get by financially, but I make enough to make ends meet so to speak. I have a lot of effort and time going into trying to lose weight. I also am applying for a different job, not because I don't like it but because I need more hours and stability. Getting better and better as each day passes but of course there's always things on my mind. I guess, I felt like sharing this here now. So yeah I don't know what to say, but thanks for reading and for continuing to support me.

GAMING RANT - JANUARY 2023!

STOP TELLING GAMERS WHAT THEY CAN AND CANNOT PLAY!

Social media and in particular Twitter is running rampant with lots of people saying idiotic things such as "If you play this game you are a ______, and you condone _______" (I am sure you can fill in the blanks, but I have examples to follow)

"If you don't play Forspoken you are a homophobe and racist." OK so now to piss people off, I am not going to play this game, that I have never had intentions to play in the first place.

"If you play Hogwarts legacy you are racist, homophobic and transphobe" OK well now because I want to play the game, I am going to piss people off.

"If you play ANY blizzard game you are actively supporting sexual harassers and rapists." Look Blizzard I ain't been a fan of anyway and I have played some of their games BUT I ain't touching Overwatch 2 because it's rubbish and now because RAPISTS made it.

"If you play Atomic Heart you are supporting Russia in the war" MATE, I just want to play a mindless shooter, I am not supporting Russia at all so please FUCK OFF!

"If you kill animals in God Of War Ragnarok you are supporting the assault and deaths of innocent animals." PETA with all due respect please kindly FUCK OFF!

What is next? If I play Little Big Planet I am supporting balls of yarn running out? Or if I love the Uncharted or Tomb Raider games that I support thieves?

People, Gamers alike. PLEASE GET A GRIP!

I AM GOING TO PLAY, WHAT I WANT TO PLAY! NO ONE ELSE WILL TELL ME DIFFERENTLY!

IT DOES NOT MEAN SHIT IF I DO OR DO NOT PLAY SOMETHING!

Snowflakes and people alike need to focus on bigger issues rather than these miniscule issues that do not matter at all.

Random Ramblin's 49 - It's Been A While

So here I am early hours of the morning on the 1st of August 2022, wide awake, listening to music. The usual (I guess). I am here trying to figure out how to write this. I been going between two minds for a while about writing another Random Ramblin's (which is a series of blog posts I do here on my blog which operate sorta like diary entries and place I go to share news and my mind and rant about.)

There's so much that has happened since my last entry, honestly. It's been a hell of a life, is what I have been saying as I have gone through a lot mentally and even physically these past few months to well, almost a year actually.

When was the last time I did a RR? *goes to look up last entry* Ah yes.....September 2021 and it's now.....August 2022. Wow! Time sure does fly! Anyway *Thinks to himself "what the hell do I write about? why am I doing this? why am I talking in my head and also writing this down?" SIGHS* 

Well without further ado, THIS....IS.......

RANDOM RAMBLIN'S!!!!

Alright, alright, alright. First off,

HOW ARE YOU?!

I hope you are well!

LIFE

How am I? Oh well thanks for asking, at the moment I am tired and in a lot of back pain from my new job. Oh yes! I have a new job well this is another another new job. Yes I quit my previous employer the cinema back in April. Also back in April my GF broke up with me but to be honest it looks like she left me for someone else, BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT I digress and this is just from MY VIEW after all and with all due respect, I won't say anything more on this matter. I do miss that Cinema job I'd be lying if I said otherwise.

ANYWAY I quit my Cwtchy cinema job to go work in a care home and It was great BUT I have/had a lot of unsolved trauma and I had so many memories pour back into me with dealing with Dementia residents because of my Nan who I sadly lost 2 years ago. The care home job was not for me at this time being sadly. In the months of May - July, I did not sign on to the Dole as it were and rather I was applying for work and having 2 interviews a week and eventually I landed the job I am in now and you know what, It's hard work right BUT I am liking it. What's my new role? Well I work as a Bartender in a restaurant and it's not as easy as it sounds or looks chief but hey I am enjoying it on most days. 

The past 5 months or so have definitely been a rebuild period for myself. Mentally and physically. It's tough and goes to show a lot of shit catches up to you and ruins you. I'm still on the mend from a lot of mental and physical issues but by taking the right steps daily and recognising when you need help and treatment is important and getting it is even more important and significant. I need to correct my posture and weight more really. I'm a work in progress and I always will be. Destroying bad habits and old habits takes time and a lot of energy and effort and consciousness (let's be fair) to make it all work and run smoothly. So just be aware of what's going on with yourself in your mind and body and try and sort any issues to save yourself in the future. Cheers for reading this bit of ramblin hehe. 😊👍

Unrelated but I have been watching a lot of Bill Burr stand up and Paul Smith stand up. 

Both fantastic comedians and I recommend giving them a nose. 

Wrestling

What a mad few months it has been for the wrestling world. Vince is gone from WWE and HHH is in charge due to the allegations against Vince making him retire from his duties with WWE.

In September WWE has their biggest PPV taking place in Cardiff, Wales and OF COURSE I AM GOING!!!!!

Film & Tv

Shocking and sad news with TV and Film land as Warner Bros have cancelled many films and TV shows including the Scoob sequel and the Batgirl film.

Dragonball Super: Superhero has released and it's incredible and so awesome!

Cw has called time on The Flash with season 9 being the last season and its also the shortest season as its been issued for only 13 episodes.

Gaming

Fortnite X Dragonball Super collab is probably Fort's best collab ever made, it is hella fun!

Music & Gigs

Machine Head, Slipknot and Five Finger Death Punch all got new album is out soon. (as of writing they are due to be released end of August and into September)

I am also seeing Machine Head and Amon Amarth in September!

Also seeing Corey Taylor in October!

Might see Three Days Grace in September but unsure yet it as it depends on my schedule and income.

Anyway that's all I got time for this week Basil haha.

Check me out on youtube & tiktok if you are bored or in need of a laugh.

If you need someone to talk to please give me a message anytime too!

Be well and be safe people!

I am also on Letterboxd so if you want to see my ratings or some reviews for films, join me there!

https://letterboxd.com/scotty2jonesy

Thanks for reading and visiting my blog today.

Feel free to check out other blog post's I have made.

Stay Shiny!

Random Ramblin's 46 - Cruella or Kind-ella?! ¬-¬

Just heard in Disney prequel Cruella they have Cruella smoke-free??! 

Because it's a bad habit? 

SHE'S A FUCKING VILLAIN!!!! SHE WANTS TO SKIN 101 PUPPIES ALIVE AND WEAR THEM AS CLOTHES!!!!  YOU CANNOT REDEEM A CHARACTER LIKE THAT!!!!

This is stupid, come on people!!!! Have we gotten so soft?!

Stop trying to make a bad person likeable

Hook wants to kill orphans and wants treasure and to kill Peter Pan because Pan cost him a hand. Oh but I suppose in Disney nowadays it's all Hook wants to kill kids because they bullied him as a kid as he had a crooked "hook" hand. Oh blah de blah shut up!

People: How can you make us like a evil character?

Disney: SUPER EASY, BARELY AN INCONVENIENCE!

People: Wow wow wow wow, making a evil villain likable is super tight!

Random Ramblin's 45 - May Rant 2021

 Rant time!!!!! 

I'm frustrated with some stories and so I'm going to just post my angry thoughts here about them to keep me sane and not from exploding in myself. It's mental health week and itv is good boy for always promoting "Britain get talking" yeah let's talk about all our feelings let's be humans and let's just rant too its normal and healthy. Anyway....

The uk gov can't keep us under their thumbs, it's like a soap TV episode where some baddie be plotting takeover to keep everyone quiet because if not they will pass flu on to everyone and kill everyone as they promised and made threats to, in order to control everyone and they  the baddie makes themselves out to be "The greater good" by trying to make themselves appear to be a good guy when really they are salt of the earth.

The UK gov are so stupid for Inviting other variants over by letting anyone from any country into ours because they care more about tourism or rather TEH MONEH! The UK needs to take note of New Zealand tactics and lock down borders ffs. This is getting ridiculous and I will not live my life locked up and restricted, if I wanted that life I'd go to jail myself and I'm not the only one in UK who feels this way and I'm sorry but I have to say it. 

Further more with the jail note. Reports on news was saying "Prisoners are campaigning for vaccine because they don't feel like they are being treated as human beings and a part of society" I'm sorry but they did bad shit and for a reason, are removed and not apart of society anymore and should just leave them there but vaccinate the staff working there because only way prisoners could get covid is from staff bringing it in, in the first place. Again I'm sorry but had to say something, I can't feel bad for people in jail unless they are falsely jailed. 

TV rant, the friends reunion for months has been built up on "it's a new episode" and then lots of pointless celebs announced for it and then people are saying "it's just a sit down chat" so they've falsely advertised this for months so pardon me for feeling resent towards this "reunion episode" now. 

Cardiff wanting to demolish motorpoint arena for a canal has me annoyed. RCT council wanting to destroy things and replace with houses which may I add are thrown up and tend to lack some safety checks and features is wrong too and annoys me. They want to get rid of a bridge to put another bridge in, further down in Aberdare, it's a bit daft so is the new Heads of the valley road proposal and don't get me started on how ugly the environment is looking with so many trees destroyed around RCT. And don't get me started on irresponsible people who are reckless drivers and the people who start forest and wild fires they are pricks.

All drivers just like all people have a duty of care, it's just a shame so many people are shallow and idiotic to forget about that duty of care.

Peace to everyone! Try to have a good day, I feel better for ranting haha. Thanks for reading!

Random Ramblin's 40 - WHAT?! CORONA LOCKDOWN!

Hi there, you join me in the comfort of a dark room, sipping upon blue wkd with some synthwave instrumental music on in the background. Comforting right? Oh yes i agree. Anyway it has been a while since i did a RR but here we are back again! 

There's been a lot to write about but i have expressed my worries, rants, concerns and feelings into my gorgeous girlfriend instead, so i aswell as she could take a load off our heads and just get back to feeling good and moving in a rhythm. BUT lately this year, well hey, we are at the end of April and for me this year has been............TERRIBLE! 

It's a shocking, upsetting, depressing, year and my mental health has fluctuated a whole lot! 

I won't go into everything that has happened this year but; I have lost my nan, lost someone else close, had arguments, we are in a world emergency crisis and locked-down so unable to see my woman or any of my loved ones or friends, I've had toxic people try to control me and my mrs and one tried to use us as scape goats and that my dear readers is not what a friend is or does, regardless of history with said person you do not do that to a friend or anyone ever!

So yeah this lockdown has come to be and it's added more stresses and more cracks are being unearthed in my foundations of mental stability. I am cracking under all that i have gone through this year, i am cracking up under all this lockdown and quarantine nonsense, i'm cracking, i am breaking.

Each time i think or say it cannot possibly get any worse, it does something happens and makes me breakdown uncontrollably and cry or feel angry or frustrated. The most dangerous thing right now in all this lock-down is being locked inside our minds with the negative thoughts.

We all need to take care and go gentle on ourselves!

I am a grown ass man and i have my feelings and i am very much in tone with those feelings i am a highly sensitive person and i am not ashamed to admit that i feel things and that i cry. I recently for the first time in my life cried in my shower that's how broken things are for me at this moment in time as i type all this out loud, as i cry again from my head being such a horrible force to go against me, it feels as if its trying to ruin things trying to make me not have nice things to sabotage my own happiness like.

It's fucking insane! 

It's insane to feel so broken in yourself too. It's crazy to feel insecure about yourself but also so highly emotional and to be a person with such strong empathy like myself its bloody hard too. It's hard when you feel so much that you care so much about every single little thing and how you must want everything to run perfect and smoothly too but it does not so you make back ups and back ups of back ups and so many back ups that you are backed up of back ups.

Got no work, can't see my mrs, family or friends, I can't really go anywhere and do anything because it's only shopping or exercise locally or face a fine or possible jail time in this crisis.

Only thing good about the Corona-apocalypse is the memes.
People need to stop hoarding items mind you and stop lighting grass fires and stop fly tipping!

I am living with so much trauma and grief right now. 

I hope you are doing better than me.

I will be bright as a diamond again soon!

Remember to stay shiny! 

Better days are coming!

Random Ramblin's 40 - Are You Watching Facebook Man!?

Hello everyone, back so soon? I know what's going on?
THIS IS MY 300TH POST!

Life

Been having car problems after problems after problems so annoying and frustrating, how is it possible to live life without any stresses or worries when cars keep haemorrhaging money out of me. 

Besides car worries and the rant just below this, it's not all been all gloomy in my recent times. I went away with the Mrs to Quay West and we had a lush time, I highly recommend everyone go to Quay West and Ceredigion and Aberaeron also. 

I went with the Mrs to watch NXT UK Live in Cardiff, we went to the takeover live ppv show and the Sunday tv tapings and we thoroughly enjoyed. It was so amazing, sure Sunday was longer and it was so uncomfortable seating wise compared to the night before. Saturday we was on top in the middle of the tiered seating which gave us a fantastic view and we was comfy and it was so great. Sunday we sat 10 rows from the ring which was amazing too but the seats were so cramped and uncomfy it did my head in and has messed up my knee as it still hurts now. All in all we enjoyed so much we can't wait to do it again if they come back to Cardiff. The crowd was amazing and the chants were epic! P.s. The title of this post was a chant.

I recently also won a massive teddy from a local arcade and honestly it's huge it's bloody 6ft for christ sake haha. I gave it to my Mrs and it was bloody insane everyone was looking at me and they looked so amazed and jealous haha. It was stuck in a machine where you hold a button and release when the scissors gets to the string holding the bear and you release and it cuts it and it took me 2 goes which is £3 as it was £1 a go so three goes and i had it. I told her i'm gonna win that! I did! Call me Arcade King!

MUSIC

Taylor's new album is out and i like a few songs, such as; Lover, Me!, Paper Rings, I forgot that you existed, Cornelia St and Cruel Summer.

Slipknot's new album is out too and from this new album We Are Not Your Kind i love the following songs; Unsainted, Birth Of The Cruel, Nero Forte, Spiders, Critical Darling, Solway Faith, Red Flag and Orphan.

TOOL ARE BACK!
(I've not listened to their album Fear Inoculum as of writing)

A note on music: Music, it's starts with a sound, add in some repetition and the brain will think it's a song or it will mold it into a song so to speak. Music is amazing it can help people relearn how to speak, help people with movement disabilities move more, music can act like a drug aswell and has a deep connection to our feelings. Music itself is culturally universal and as far as we are aware other primates don't really get the same feeling of beats like we do it's been said. All music starts as air before we hear it, repeated sound creates rhythm, it all goes in through our ear processed via our brains and that is where we make it out and develop a love or a dislike to music and some music in general really. Back in 2009 scientists and the world discovered an animal that would move along to the music in time even when the track was sped up or down and more animals have been discovered to be able to do this since that wonderful Cockatoo named Snowball almost ten years ago. Ronin a sea lion in California is the first non human mammal confirmed to really get grooving with Earth Wind and Fire in a Boogie Wonderland. When sounds repeat fast enough we hear it as a pitch and multiple pitches create harmony. Octaves are pitches with double or half the frequency of another. Major scale is associated with happy feelings and minor meaning the opposite but of course this is not universal because someone in another country could experience the opposite where the minor is happy and major is sad.

Games
I want to play Gears 5 and Man Of Medan. Fortnite is going mental but i am not playing it so much now a days. Been playing Lego Undercover at the moment, it's alright like. Restarted Animal Crossing New Leaf as things fucked up so i can't wait to get back into that. 

"Do you think a chair ever wants to sit on a person?"

Thanks for reading, stay tuned for more lists and other bits here on my blog! 

STAY SHINY!

Random Ramblin's 39 - The Great Rant

IT'S SUMMER TIME! 

MUSIC
CHECK OUT SABATON - THE GREAT WAR. This album is a modern masterpiece an instant classic. One of the best albums i have ever heard and that i have in my collection. 10/10

Taylors new album lover is coming August 23, 2019 so me and Mrs cant wait to hear it. So far Me is my fave it just clicked instantly. You need to calm down was too pop political for me to get into. Archer is dark and I dont quite know what to make of it after one listen. We see what the rest is like when its out.

FILMS
Lion King Remake is a cash grab that's mediocre and fails to capture the magic or essence of the original. No emotion in animals, does not flow as smoothly as original i felt. The realism is nice but there's more that should have been done for it. 3/10

Yesterday has a lot of questions or sets them out but does not in anyway answer them and its got too much Ed Sheeran for my liking 5/10

Rocketman was decent and entertaining and the music sequences and transitions was great 7/10

Spiderman Far From Home was crap its just another iron man movie not a spiderman, fuck up Marvel 3/10

Toy Story 4 is the weakest toy story film but still made me cry like a baby 7/10

Batman Hush is a great new addition to the DCAU and it was great to see Hush brought to the big screen even if it is animated. and we get a great twist and finale in this. 8/10

Games
Not played much i got 2 new games but not played them aswell as others from a while ago i bought but there we go in it. I play Fortnite a lot is all. 

RANT
I'm getting tired of people buying cats or dogs then making a social media account up. I get it you want attention or you want people to know and follow the thing you love most but jesus christ when does it even evolve from being your own pet to being loads others own pet instead. It feels like they are not their pets but sharing it with all their followers and im not for that. A pet isnt for boosting you on social media and a pet shouldn't be forced that and also if you are getting a pet take care of it yourself and not show it off and hope people will take care of it or whatever reason people do this shit for. Get a pet for yourself not to promote and pass off to others to make yourself matter.

Also dear petty people of the world. Dont be that person to make others feel down or bad and dont break your relationship status over anything small or trivial only to the next week or day go back to happy families. Either stick to your guns and dont bitch and moan or just stick together. If its true love you wouldn't separate go off in a huff create drama because you want attention and then go back to your partner and act like nothing happened. You do more harm than good and one day the other person will realise the terrible harm you are causing and will walk out of your life and not return so be careful.

Family life: I hate being the last to know of things and I hate coming home to get it in the neck for no reason other than the people mad at me are just angry at their own problems. I'm always nice, polite, well mannered and honest and yet you know I'll come home from a 8 hour shift to "did you break the printer?", "chew quieter why are you so loud" to an empty house without my dog and for me to worry and panic looking for him when family haven't said they were off away on holiday with him. Courtesy please give me some as I need to know this information but apparently seems to not be of importance to let me know of anything. Some family members I dont see anymore or much of and I try to contact them but get nothing of when I can come see them, there's no communication on their part and that upsets me. Family is family we are supposed to all support and love eachother but just seems like voids are just the normal as we all age and have our own homes and families of our own and that sucks and its sad. So yeah apologies to rant so much but I need to get all this out and once I start I dont want to stop because I cant stop.

******************This might come across as controversial so beware! I in no way, am saying anything negative with mental health or those who suffer it, I am merely asking a question. I don't wish to offend anyone with this and please if you are suffering or battling with your mental health do seek help and talk to friends and family you trust and write your problems out and focus on taking care of yourself. 😊👍********************

Do you think people take too much advantage with the state of mental health these days?

Example; Are some generally doing it and feeling, experiencing it or are some crying Wolf and abusing the mental health system to benefit sick pay and days off? Curious to know thoughts on this because its an interesting topic.

I've heard a lot of stories of some people glorifying the whole "i'm anxious/depressed I need a week off, paid sick leave" I'm not in anyway saying that people are not dealing with any actual mental battles are faking it in anyway, I'm only saying there's some out there that will say things and take advantage of people and you'll end up seeing them going abroad, smiling, getting a tan or out partying drunk constantly.

Everyone has a natural anxiety level within them. Everyone can/will get depressed at some point in their lives of course and I'm not saying different or that some can get an extreme case of these and still go on and do amazing things while battling it. Just saying or asking; How many of these cases are actual real cases and how many are not? I'm interested in finding out.

Also how unfair is it to have these troubles and wait and wait and panic or feel afraid to seek medical help and for the doctors to not listen to you and to tell you to "go home get plenty fluids down you" or "nah you're all fine".

Thing is the system and this topic is tricky and it's not always straight forward. We all need more and better care and awareness. Start teaching it in schools. There's loads to be taught in schools I know and I'll probably do another post on this at some point.

Also; It's strange how when you're down and lonely some people will not care but when you are happy that some people will start to hate and thrive off trying to put you down and not support you or like seeing you happy.

To those kinds of people I say good day, because no one has time for that and no one has any room in their life to be that sad and jealous of others happiness.

I have no room anymore in my life for put downs or negative, snide, snark remarks I just block and remove or unfollow on social media because I am done with all that shit.

Simply put if you aren't happy for someone else being happy, don't be a dick and try to ruin their days or their lives by saying negative comments or by direct/private messaging them shit. And don't be that guy to say in person "I'm fed up of your lovey dovey crap" well kindly fuck off out of life because you are not needed in it and it wont be tolerated at all.

People wont support you at your lowest but will at your highest. I find that bullshit too. You could be all like "woe is me" and some decent people will be like "oh its gonna be OK" or there will be those that will laugh at you and say "grow up!" and scroll on. People need to start being decent beings instead of shitty ones. The fakery I've always said needs to stop too, I cant tolerate it, I'll remove and unfollow that crap. You can be there for others but its also funny how the same people won't be for you. Life is strange.

Forget politics forget work. Look after yourself, always be kinder. You are never a burden to talk to others about your problems. If you think you are and that they won't get you or understand well you are wrong. They will. Self love is not taught because no one has mastered it yet. Be kind and gentle and don't put the weight of the world on your shoulders. Everyone needs to be kinder to themselves. 

Feeling uncomfortable in your skin? Maybe it's not yours maybe it's someone else's and your an alien who took that skin and decided to wear it to start a secret invasion. Maybe or maybe not 😉.

Tossing the coin to you guys here seeing and reading this. What do you think of all this? What's your experiences and what do you think needs to be done?

Let me know, thanks for reading 😊👍 Stay Shiny!

Late Night Ramblin's Vol 4: Fitness Bug Come Back!

Oh how the mighty fall.

Start of the year I said I'm going to go to the gym again and just go for it lose weight eat better I did good cheat days aside.

In fairness I did lose 2 stone and my arms were getting bigger by that I mean the muscles were actually growing haha.

Anyway work picked up and I got sick which cut me off from gym for 2 weeks and due to sickness and tiredness from work and I also top it off lost my gym card and it took my gym ages to send me a replacement but ofcourse I slipped back into the lazy shit that I am at home.

I feel ashamed to admit it but yeah I've slipped, I've messed up and gone back to this puppy fat mess that my body is.

All that progress gone.

Well the gym ain't cheap, time has to be made and I have to kick my arse back in gear and go for it again.

I need to not quit. Not to get lazy at home. I'd love to have a friend help me out be like personal trainer go for walks, jogs, pump iron, get the stamina up and help kick my metabolism and testosterone up to max.

Of course I need to sort my fussy eating habits out of junk food the likes of crisps, chocolate, burgers, hot dogs, fried chicken, curry, pizzas, chips you know that generic crap. Need to go more nutrition and protein mad.

Thing is I am so indecisive and just lazy and easy to quit and give up and go back to the state of laziness.

I ain't getting any younger, I do have joint pain and I ain't been or seem my prime state before no one has. I wonder what my beast mode would look like, course being cocky now I'd kill for Finn Balor abs.

So guy's I need your help, I need your positive vibes, feed me your energy, post comments or message me wherever and whenever just egg me on please believe in me.

I'll get started again soon as my work schedule is quieter.

Random Ramblin's 36 - The Lowdown

Hello and again welcome back to my blog and again I will start by saying it's been a while since the last bout of Random Ramblin's besides late night ones of course. 

Compared to the last post it's been about 2 months since I last went to the gym, I know shame on me. I got sick, had a lot of work on and then top it off I lost my membership pass. However I have been emailed back by them a few days ago that I can come down and get a new one for no cost so woo hoo. I'll be back at it. 2 months off going to the gym it's not felt different well besides noticing my progress go back to ground zero but hey I can do it again. 

Besides that lot I saw Machine Head once again :) 

Writing

Steady pace as ever, not really worked on any ebooks lately just more blogs and songs and stuff as you will have picked up from seeing my other posts here on my blog :) 

Movies

Oh boy I have seen a lot of movies since I last filled you in. 

I watched all of the Maze Runner films the third was disappointing but first two were good. MR1 = 8/10, 2 = 8/10, 3 = 4/10. 

I have seen Infinity War three times! It's really damn good! 9/10!

Deadpool 2 is great too, I love the soundtrack so damn good! 7/10

The Frighteners was decent, never seen it before liked it, great cast in it. 6/10

Batman Ninja I did not like it was over the top trash to me. 2/10

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom was a great return to the series roots. Great horror elements in it I loved it won't lie. 8/10

Digimon Tri: Chapter 4 - Loss = This was utterly brilliant and soul destroying almost cried about one moment. 9/10

Solo: A Star Wars Movie - Well what a trainwreck two thing's I liked about it really but honestly if Ep 9 sucks I'm done with Star Wars. 3/10

Super Troopers 2 - Well this was alright just not near as good as the first. 5/10

Hereditary - Unsettling and very creepy but the ending was cheap and lame and something we've seen many times it sucked but overall great music, cast and camera trickery. 7/10

Game Night: Brilliantly amazing comedy such originality honestly surprise hit of the year 9/10

Rampage: Decent blockbuster flick 6/10

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing: Brilliantly funny ending annoyed me but hey was really good 8/10

Tomb Raider: Decent video game flick based on the reboot of the characters video games 5/10

Baywatch: Terrible cringe worthy film i wanted to turn it off so many times. 1/10

A Quiet Place - Brilliant film! Here's my full review - https://1stmetalgodsblog.blogspot.com/2018/04/a-quiet-place-silent-but-deadly-review.html 8/10

The Shape Of Water - Here's my full review - https://1stmetalgodsblog.blogspot.com/2018/02/the-shape-of-water-film-review-spoiler.html 9/10

Told you there was a lot to cover so I did my best to keep it short.

GAMING

I have been suffering PGD which is short for post game depression but i am fine now. 

When will we get gta 6? (CLICK HERE)

Another Fallout? Yes we have gotten word and trailers of Fallout 76 it looks alright same engine as number 4, it's set to be the earliest fallout game and will have people invading you and helping you. Interesting no?

THAT DMC5 TRAILER HOLY SHIT! 

Dying Light 2's branching story has me interested. 

Walking Dead's final telltale season omg! 

Gears 5 does not look like a gears game to me but its the second game i want on xbox one, i do not own xbox one but if i did i only want gears 4 and 5. 

Just Cause 4 wow it has tornadoes and a crazy open world. 

Death Stranding i have no clue whats going on but the gameplay included a lot of walking.

Crackdown 3 looks highly entertaining fun. 

Closing Comments

Well there aint much left to say now but before i go, i will say i do feel lost and neglected by some people. Is there anything i can do to make it all right as rain? No idea. Is there advice or support you the reader could give me? If so just comment below whatever you have to say about me or anything i'd love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks for popping by, much love, stay shiny!