My Son Is Born!

⭐Ladies and Gentlemen introducing the one & only⭐

Thomas "Tommy" Evan Jones. 🥰

It was a gruelling week spent in hospital for my love but we are all home safe, sound and recovering. Hard to believe a week has come and gone since our Tommy entered the world. 😎

Thank you all from the bottom of our hearts for your generosity with messages, gifts, cards, flowers, monies and your time. It means a lot to us with how much love and care he has already and he can't wait to meet you all❤️

Special thank you to the staff and crew of PCH.

Midwives: Lindsey, Menna, Becca, Bex, Ming, Jodi & Keira (the students), Beth, Helen Mccann

Labour and delivery: Holly and student midwives Lydia & Courtney

Being A Dad In Pregnancy Is Hard

No one ever told me how much I'd be asked daily so many questions about my unborn child. No one prepared me for the annoyance of so many voices and so many people trying to have their say on an unborn child that's not theirs or even related to them.

The easy part was all the appointments and running around and gathering items ready for the baby. The hard part was dealing with people.

That last one is so confusing, well let me tell you how annoying it is, to work retail and serve and see the same customers almost every day who pester you for news and information about your baby. I told you yesterday Charlotte, the baby is fine still cooking no news!!!

Stop sending me name suggestions when I don't ask. I appreciate you wanted to call your boy or girl this name or that name and ended up with another but I don't want your names. I want to give them one of me and my partner choosing.

I have told you a due date, please stop asking me when they are due.

I have also told you their gender because so many voices "needed" to know what he is going to be. Why do you "need" to know? We don't want you to go out and buy things for us, we appreciate the thought but please save your money, a card would be fine to say congratulations. That's not me being rude I just don't want people being silly about it, a gender neutral outfit is lovely we do really appreciate it but again we don't want people throwing money away on us haha. Again I'm not trying to be ungrateful or anything, it's the opposite. I suppose this is a response to being overwhelmed. Not feeling like deserve it.

Where's the baby/how's the baby? Well when I was bombarded with this question every day before I went on my paternity leave, the answer was that he's still growing and ok and oh look I've already answered this question again.

"Tell me soon as they are born I need to know everything and you need to show me" - NO! Demands will be met with a FUCK OFF. Don't you dare say such stupid shit and make your demands it's MY BABY and not your circus monkey. This isn't show and tell. I'll tell and show when I'm fucking ready.

There's so much I've been asked and repeated daily and my baby is almost here and then I'll be back to work so I'll probably take note and be annoyed again at the repeat in questions again that make my head crumble.

Late Night Random Ramblin's Vol13- Am I Being Discriminated?

What a title, catches your eyes right? Well folks in today's story time allow me to rant and get shit off my chest, It's been a long time coming.

So I weigh 30 stone ok, not the best sure but I am also 6ft 3. So I'm not really too out there I'd argue. Yeah when you look at me and my wife there's a stark difference but we love eachother endlessly so yeah mind ya business and stop judging.

Since 2020 COVID, I've been fluctuating with weight going from 25 stone to 32 stone and during that time I was giving blood with the Welsh blood service. Fast forward to 2021 they told me they couldn't take my blood because I had a new growth on my hand which was just a ganglion cyst so they wanted me to do some tests and come back to them with proof that it's not a tumor and anything else scary. So then after numerous tests and a few months later to 2022 they are fine and taking my blood again then 2023 they tell me I can't give blood because I was taking painkillers for a headache. Then later in 2023 I can't give blood again because I said to them a few days ago I was on antibiotics for a chest infection and again they declined me. So then last year they have new settings and I had to declare my weight and height and other things to them for reasons unknown so then they told me because of my weight being 30 stone they cannot put me in their chairs as they have a max weight of 20 stone, yet I have been in their chairs and been more than the recommended amount and they have taken my blood with no problems. It's rediculous and a waste of time, so now if I need to give blood I have to go to hospital in Llantrisant to lay in their hospital beds to do so🙄

Let's now talk about my dentist. So I've gone to my dentist since I had teeth, that's a long time like almost 30 years right? So remember now during COVID I've gone from 25 stone to 30 stone right and I'm at 30 stone again. Last time I seen my dentist prior to end of May was back in January and in January I had a check up as normal for the past 20 years, chair goes back I get glasses and a bib on and get my teeth looked at and done right? Well this past week I've had the worse toothache ever and she didn't know what it was and also asked me about my weight before she did any work and she said due to the chair being only able to hold up to 20 stone that she couldn't help me and she'd have to refer me to someone else for any work I needed now. Which is absolutely fucking stupid and also please know I'm paying this dentist £10 a month....for what!? My fillings have cost me hundreds of pounds per filling and she's given me half my mouth full of them!!! So I went back today a few days after writing the last paragraph to get my review for my tooth pain, basically she didn't even see me or allow me to sit down in her chair and I explained about the pain and how it's lessened since last week, however I've now got mouth ulcers. One is at front of my mouth and the other is on the gum by the problematic tooth. She said "ok I can't do nothing more, your overweight capacity for my new chair so I'll refer you to another dentist and I'll see you when you have lost weight. You can get fat jabs off the drs now so try them and see you when you have lost the weight." 🙄 Fucking joke. I don't want to use jabs because 1: The haven't been fully studied and have dangerous side effects. 2: it feels like I'd have cheated to get the weight off. I rather work it off and stand with pride about that, BUT it is hard to lose weight. I am in a lot of pain and struggle with my feet or knees and everytime I've lost weight it's been hard to keep at it because of my pains or sickness or then because of my hunger is too great. It's fucking hard!

Clothing shops on high streets I can't go to BUT I've finally found one I can shop at! Yours clothing shop in Swansea, it caters to big men with their fabulous downstairs department. That's the first time I've ever gone into a clothes shop and spent over £100 recently. That's crazy!!!!

I can't sleep. I got so many things stressing me out and I just want peace. I want the good old days, no cares, no bills, chilling with gaming and good films. I feel like I can't breathe and it makes me miss some solitude and gaming for long sessions. I'm tired, I'm hurt, I need to get this off my chest, I just need some support. I need some peace also. I just need something else, something more.....something....

R.I.P. Jack

Recently after 15 years, my family and I had to say goodbye to our Jack🐶😭💔

I'm glad he's free of pain but still sad he's not here and I have to stop myself from asking "where's jack?". I feel like he's just gone out the back or for a walk with my dad or maybe sleeping upstairs🥹

Jack was my dad's shadow. He was a hunter dog through and through but also had so much energy and even in his golden years would snap back into puppy looney zoomy energy. He used to pounce for things and that always made me laugh and whenever he would attack his bed and make his little growls, because a Lazer was pointed at it.😂

Jack would also love to keep you company and open the door when you are in the bog or when you are trying to sleep in your room. 😂

I'll miss him always, thanks for the past 15 years of laughs and barks, R.I.P Jack❤️

Baby Jones Coming Soon

2025 JUST GOT BIGGER!!!!

Myself and my beautiful girlfriend are happy and proud to announce that our lives will be changing in July 2025. We are entering the parenting world together.

Our beautiful baby waving at us from the 12 week scan.🥰

Here's the gorgeous set up we used to make it publicly known on socials.❤️🥳

Here we are together, celebrating Christmas and the new year in style, knowing in a few months time we will be proud parents.

Thanks for all the well wishes so far 😊❤️

My Girlfriend Is My Hero

How can I begin to express how proud I am of this special woman? How do I explain my love and proudness and the sheer amount of happiness that I feel around her and with her and for her?

Well, when I think long and hard about this strong, inspirational, golden hearted lady in my life, there's just two words to sum her up......MY HERO!

This summer she pushed through her mental and physical limits and did a whopping 25K Walk and she not only did that but also in a place not familiar to her and the biggest city and capital of the UNITED KINGDOM and that is London!

As you can see she was featured in a post from Girlguiding Cymru!

Her incredible achievement was documented in GG cymru newsletter also.

My Gf also played a pivotal part in saving a nursery from redundancy also.

My girlfriend also lead her unit and did a remarkable job at the Remembrance day parade.

Of course my Girlfriend raised some money having a PJ day at her nursery and got thanked by CHILDREN IN NEED.

I have known her for a decade but it's only been the past year that I have truly KNOWN her. I am so lucky to know her and have her in my life, not just as my girlfriend or best friend or partner but as my hero.

Inside and out she is an inspirational role model and the love of my life and I cannot wait for our future together and to make her my official wife. 

It's been an incredible year babe, keep doing your best, you got this!

All my love, forever and always.

Random Ramblin's 52 - Summer Of 20 20 4

It's been a little while since I wrote anything here, so please forgive my absence and allow me to fill in some blanks 😊

I've literally been super busy with 2 jobs. I've had a weekend break with my loving lady to London, which was absolutely amazing!❤️ My sweet pea did a 25k walk for charity in aid of mind and apart of Girlguiding for her Queen's Guide Award. Furthermore, I am so proud of her and all her achievements and the amount she raised🎉❤️ I will be doing another post on my Girlfriend's charity walk as well as a post about her hardwork with Girlguiding cymru❤️

It's been a lovely summer. Took my beautiful Mrs away for her birthday and celebrated🥰

Basically I've had an amazing hard-working summer and the days off I've had I've lived them to the fullest with my wonderful girlfriend🥰

I watched Despicable Me 4 and that was good. I have also seen the god awful Borderlands movie, and the less said the better. Speaking of Bad Video game movies, ahem, what the hexagon is that Minecraft live action trailer?!

Also, video games not even 10 years old getting remastered is just dumb🙃

Linkin Park are back and with a new line-up. Emptiness Machine is great. I don't think the band should be dubbed Linkin Park, but rather something else subtitled A Linkin Park Project. 

That's all I got for now folks, gotta go back to the grind of life again now unfortunately. 

Stay Shiny, I will return soon!

Bluey & The Miscarriage And Infertility Episodes

So this post is going to cover two things about two important issues that are not widely discussed enough. Miscarriage and Infertility. How does a show aimed at kids deal with these topics? 

I'll tell you today and the reasons why they were brought up.

Brandy & Infertility

In the episode of Bluey titled "Onsies" Auntie Brandy, (Bluey's Auntie) visits for the first time in years. Chili's sister Brandy wants kids but unfortunately is unable to, that's why she stayed away from the family and her sister for years. It's difficult and traumatic and anxiety inducing for her to deal and think of kids, her inner turmoil and fall into depression kept Brandy away for so long, and she gives herself a prep talk just to see her family. Brandy and Chilli have a close bond despite her not visiting for 4 years. Brandy has Bluey and Bingo Onesies, and they don't fit either kid very well and Bluey asks her mum Chili to make it fit and Chili answers with a quick "it's not meant to be kiddo" which foreshadowed a lesson later in the episode. There's a few times Brandy tries to have a heart-to-heart with her sister, but the kids interrupt it because Bingo becomes more animalistic when she wears a onesie, which is pretty funny. It's possible the sisters bonded more so over the fact Chili had a miscarriage before Bluey was born also, but I'll touch on that in a bit. So the aforementioned foreshadow moment goes with Chili talking to Bluey saying "you know how you want bingos cheetah onesie, but it doesn't fit you, so you can't have it. There's something Auntie Brandy wants more than anything, but she can't have it and no one can do anything about it. She can't have the thing she wants because it's not meant to be." Brandy and Chili have a heart-to-heart and Chili makes sure she's not alone and cares about her and her well-being and isn't mad about not seeing her in 4 years and Brandy confirms it won't be so long til she sees them again and the two dance like they did as kids to make chilli's kids laugh and smile again.

Chilli & Miscarriage

In the episode "The Show" it takes place on Mother’s Day. Bingo, Bluey and Bandit bring Chilli breakfast in bed, but Bingo trips and spills the tray. Bingo runs from the room crying, and Chilli encourages her to have a little cry, pick herself up, dust herself off and carry on. “The show must go on,” Chilli says. Then Bluey has the idea to put on a play about how Bandit and Chilli met. The key moment in the episode happens when Bingo, playing Chilli, has a balloon under her shirt to represent Chilli’s pregnancy with Bluey. The girls get carried away horsing around, and the balloon pops.

Many parents instantly became obsessed with this moment, because the view turns from showing the balloon popping, to Bandit grabbing Chilli’s hand as her smile fades. We have confirmation from “Bluey” creator and writer Joe Brumm himself, thanks to the new book “Hard to Bear: Investigating the Science and Silence of Miscarriage,” by Isabelle Oderberg. There’s so little representation of miscarriage in pop culture, nonetheless in children’s programming. My realization upon knowing this was shock but also a feeling of pride because this topic which affects me, being a father of miscarriage'd babies, hit me. This topic isn't widely discussed, and the care for those affected isn't much at all. So it's nice to see and hear this issue being raised and talked about since it's deemed to be such a common issue.

There is something truly special about “Bluey.” It’s a show that manages to transcend generations while actually having a heart and this is why and these episodes I mentioned are why I started watching this show and taking notice of it in the first place. I started recently to watch the show from it's beginning as it's soft and calming and sort of reassuring for me at the moment as my girlfriend is away for work, and it reminds me of her and her soft loving caring nature and Bandit is the dad I aspire to become. Thanks for reading and for visiting my blog, stay shiny and follow for more!

Jealous & Frustrated

I'm envious of those with more money than myself at this time. I'm jealous of those living their best lives with homes and luxurious holidays. Jealous of those with good paying jobs. 😔

I work hard, the role is often a drain because how boring and tedious it can be but I seek and apply for new roles only to not hear back or be put on hold.😓

I've had a lovely holiday this month the first in 2 years with my gf and I spent quite a bit, to be expected of course. It was worth it and I'd do it again in a heartbeat ❤️

The lack of hours at my employment however is frustrating and no extra hours or options to go cover another location have become available. I gained a new qualification but I need to gain experience to earn a placement so the next time something comes up I will be applying. 🤞

For now I am jealous and comparing my life to others and I want more in this life. I shouldn't compare but my head isn't right, it's in a rut wishing for better because it's frustrated and jealous and maybe tired of not having what I should be having. 🥺

I'm so frustrated lately. I hunger for more money for more fruit of life. I want more hours with work. I want more money. I want to go abroad. I want to do more.

Do more with my favourite person, my Mrs and take her nice places and treat her to good meals. I want more so badly. It's driving me mad, it's irritating me, angering me, it's frustrating me.

Makes me sad and feel left out to not have income and not do something, anything. I have bills to pay. Family members I wish to pay back for their time and for still giving me a roof over my head and food and water and electricity. I want to do more, I want to be successful. I want to help others and get a sense of feeling accomplishment.

Getting cabin fever stuck at home, I'm itching to do more. What more can I do, I'm applying for other work. Done online course recently for SEN Teaching and Autism Awareness. I wanna do more heavy lifting in the gym, I wish I had my own machines and equipment at home.

This too shall pass but for now I am venting my frustration in the ever lasting lack of employment hours and lack of money and the rising costs of living.

The Power Of Sleep

Tiredness, I have been a constant visitor for years and have even been the occupant. I've had so many late nights since my teenage days. So many late nights when the world would be quiet and nothing and no one would be expecting of me. 

I've revolted against early nights unless I was unwell or severely tired but I'd always get into bed and shoot up wide awake. 

The older I get the more I am taking in the amount of good an actual good rest and bedtime routine is. Let's try and fix myself by getting this sleep and routine that has eluded me for so many years. 

I have learned how little sleep really does take it out on the body, so I must remember to sleep 8 hours and stay hydrated. My body often wakes me up before my early morning alarms these days, which is an utter pain in the tubes but there was times in my life I have feared sleeping and stayed awake all night until I passed out because I feared falling asleep and not waking up. 

Fingers crossed this issue I have gets sorted and with enough sleep on a nightly basis that I actually start to feel right as rain once again. ☺️

Pulling Yourself Out Of A Pit

It's not easy. It's tough. Once you fall into the pit, you feel weak and helpless. All you try and do feels useless. You wake up after a broken sleep, in disrepair and despair from awful dreams. Negative voices and faces come and speak. Filling your head with ill will and unpleasantry.

Those voices tell me; "You are no good for anyone. You are not good enough. You are not fit enough. No one loves you and you are not worth the time and ever feeling love. You are the cause of all the bad. Everything bad in your life is your fault."

The theme of which the voices and past shadow people present is that the abusive language and actions of them is because of my existence, because you I am fat, different, broken and too good in a world full of hate and ugliness and that I should blame myself for their actions against me.

When you get into that pit, when your mind drags you down because things are too good or because too many things are staring down your neck. Just remember to be present and to breathe. It's scary, it's worrying and stressful, let alone frustrating. You always have two options you can let the nastiness play and replay over and over and let it roll you down the hill and into a pit, or you can let it play and roll down a hill and step over it allowing the voices to go into a pit by themselves. Alternatively you can scale that hill and capture those thoughts and feelings of negativity and hold them and continue to scale up the hill and use the negativity as fuel, as a power source to get the hell up and to prove them wrong!

No one said it's easy or that Scotty J would have an easy life. Scotty J would lead a difficult life because he was born into the world with a broken leg and then Scotty J developed Epilepsy from a side effect of an injection. Scotty J spent a lot of his childhood in hospitals and being unable to remember a lot of moments and times and it's not his fault, just the circumstances were unfortunate. Despite the circumstances Scotty J prevailed and continues to live on each and every day. It's not been easy to keep going on despite health issues, family passings, betrayals and heart breaks, but he keeps on going strong. A lot of the traumas of life have been locked away and forgotten about but things get triggered as bad dreams arise and the vault is left ajar, ready for keywords or moments to make the tortured souls near and not far.

Confidence isn't my strong point for it comes and goes in different levels of strength. I overthink and I worry and I Google anything wrong and Catastrophize the worse scenarios. I've pulled myself up out of deeper pits before. I've pulled myself out of pits like this before. It's going to be okay. Tough times don't last but good guys do.

Fuel your fire to beat the pits desire.

You Make Me Feel Alive

Tell me something my dear, how is it that I have lived for 30 years on a planet of 8 billion souls and yet, it's only now I'm discovering I'm actually living. I have no idea how I have made it this far without you, and without this overwhelming feeling of happiness and how sensitive I am to your care, actions and words, that make me tear up from this powerful feeling called love.

Love looked like a fairy tale, It looked luxurious and beautiful. I have seen what I thought was love and I have also been in what felt like love but it was like something not for me with how I was shown and given love.

I'd be yelled at and feeling scared and confused and told it was love. I was hit and shoved and reminded it was just love. I was bullied and belittled and was explained it was coming from a place of love. Yet those examples made me feel low and question myself. It makes me question and overthink myself to this day. There's been people I felt love for but it wasn't really love it was admiration because I felt human in how I was initially treated but alas being too nice for your own good is apparently the worse thing you can be when in this "love". My head makes me want to check and get confirmation and make sure I feel and am treated well and loved and the other person loves me and tells me and shows me. For all these years I've been blindly led through life where being nice only gets you hurt and pain. Trusting someone is hard to do now because of the years of torment my soul has endured and for how much my light in this world has been dulled.

I was told "I love you but" too many times to count where I know the next line will be "I'm seeing someone else or I like someone else". How crushing it is to pour your heart out and to have the water of your heart frozen solid and then crushed to pieces by someone you trusted and thought you loved, or to have that person pull out a knife and stab you in your heart and your brain and to feel one or the two break or snap. I've cried for ages Infront of someone who told me it was over and first it was dread and anxiety leading up to a statement being told to me of how it's over and how then I feel an ice cold dagger pierce my heart and I feel the cold blade shiver my body as my heart begins to get cold and ache. While tears flow furiously from my eyes and I blabber trying to scramble to gain answers as to why this pain is happening and all that I am feeling, my brain snaps and my tears decrease and my pain numbs as I then start laughing and smiling. Reassuring myself that it's all okay and it's fine and that I thank the other for the years we had and wish them well as I depart from their presence never to see them again. You get told "please don't do anything stupid, let me know when you get home safe" and you think to yourself "wow they still care, maybe a friendship could still happen" as you dive in deeper into your delusion.

Through delusion the heartbreak endured and grew worse, then came anger and betrayal and worthlessness, through those things became a downward spiral of ill intent. Through pills, alcohol, food and trauma came a wall of "stop or you won't be here anymore I'm serious" and so the inner mind of sound body and mind came out and instructed me to kill off the memories of pain, close up, burn, seal off all the trauma and that person and time to wise up and become a better person. Although i have been broken for a long time I've never liked seeing anyone sad or hearing they were not doing good so I would always take the mantle of being a star and raising others up and listening and doing whatever I can no matter how big or small a gesture it was to make sure I can make someone's day and someone laugh and smile. Years of pain of bullying of not seeing yourself as worthy of happiness or worthy of love teaches you that no one should feel that way. Looking back at those times why did I allow myself to feel like that for so long?

You close memories and people and seal them off in the back of your minds hoping to never see or hear them again but sealing them away doesn't always work. Someone will remember something, a word or phrase is said or something said in a certain way and even seeing those ghosts of trauma appear really messes with your head. You feel such anxiety and dread, you don't wish them to cause any bad for you or others and you convince yourself you won't ever see or hear these ghosts again but triggers are a powerful part of trauma. The old feelings of hurt reappear but never all consuming, the anxiety is consuming, the memories of the past pain is all that ever appears of how you felt used and betrayed and how someone who was supposed to show you care and what was supposed to be love actually showed you the opposite so you are mad at yourself for allowing to stick with it for so long when you really should have left and endured a possible shorter pain than the path of pain you went on. You always wish if you could go back and do and say something else to avoid those wretched paths that took you through pain but it's important to remember always who you are and where you are and how strong you are for surviving the days you never thought you would.

30 years of life, thinking I'm broken, I'm defective, I'm no good, I'm too nice, overthinking is going to be my killer, I'm going to die at 30 because of my weight, I'm not worthy of happiness and love and then for an old familiar face I loved looking at years ago reappears and wants to sit by this brooding, scarred, old man and is helping nurse his wounds better and asking him questions and genuinely caring about his thoughts and his past and that he is as beautiful still as the day she first saw him. It's really something special. Although I have my fallbacks and feel low or not confident in myself or I'm not good enough etc she never sees me differently. She cares always and she smiles and caresses my face and wipes away my tears and snots with her beautiful eyes shining and her warm smile glaring at me. She's a lot like me and I am scared, so scared to hurt and upset her and to lose her. I love her hard and so much than I've ever loved anything in my life. Although my anxious attachment mind needs reassurance and hear and see and feel love she gives 40% of the time, the rest I just know and feel and believe and have never doubted. Sometimes my head gets messy because of my past and I end up thinking paranoid things and I cannot apologise enough for it, my past is not where I am anymore and I am finally alive but the trauma I have been left with just needs me needing more work on myself and needing her help in reassurance and healing hugs to keep it all away. Those scary mean feelings don't happen all the time thankfully but when they do I feel intense in my mind, someone could whisper something as a joke to me and I'll answer with fire breathing back. My angelic ladybug struggles with her own head at times too as she's been through a lot like me and still views herself as not this angelic woman that I've always seen and still see her as. She's told me her pains and shown me her traumatic scars and she's recoiled back from me thinking I'd leave and be disgusted by her when all I've ever been is warm, loving and gentle with her. I love her full stop and I love her without any conditions with my whole heart and soul and I will pour all of me into her always, I'm not half assing things I'm going full gear and I need her, I want her, I crave her in all forms. Despite how glorious making love is, sex isn't something I always want or care about, it's not what I want every day all the time with her, it's not about sex. It's about the love, the connection, the care and support and holding her and being held by her that matters the utmost to me. I've been a beast for years and lived like a zombie with no care and so much self hate towards myself. This woman is mine and she has opened my eyes to a whole new world, she has made my heart beat once again and become warm, she puts bandages and plasters on my mind and she keeps my soul warm. She is the apple of my eye, the sunshine in my grey days, the moon that glistens with the stars, the water to my crops, the missing piece of my heart, my soulmate, my warrior, my princess, my woman, my wife. No matter how many miles apart we have been, she has always made it clear and she has a mission to keep in touch with me. It's something I never expected because I never had this happen before with someone needing to talk to me every single day without fail and when they are super busy or stressed out, for my special lady to always be in touch with me makes me feel so honoured and special and makes me feel so loved and appreciated. I never get bored and I never get sick of her no matter how long it's been and how long we been talking and spending time together each day. I have needed her for the longest time and I'm so thankful and grateful I finally have her and get to spend so much time and my life with her. I wish to marry her, to live with her, to have our own family and I've never wanted those parts of my life to start more than I have right now. Wish I could fast forward to raising our son or daughter in the air and teaching them how the world works and about the importance of good manners and being kind. I want to fast forward to seeing our childrens children too, I want it all and I want it now quite frankly my dear. When we are apart I miss her like mad and I cant wait for things to get easier and I can't wait to see her. I miss her straight away when she leaves to go home or go away. I've never missed someone so much and needed time with someone so much. I am always made to feel safe, cared, loved, happy, heard and seen by her and with her. I love and appreciate her more than I can ever say. I hope she knows it and remembers each day, I wish for her to remember each and every day of my love and of how special she is to me and how I wish she could borrow my eyes and see herself through mine to see she needs not be hard on herself and that she truly is the gorgeous,sweet, kind, loving, caring, attentive angel I see every single day. We will always give eachother our best and treat everything equally and always support and love eachother every day without fail because it's natural to us to give to eachother so we love just like breathing we just do for eachother. We will always be there for eachother through thick and thin from this life to the next and more for our souls with intertwine like a fabled red invisible string where we are connected forever and ever. I love you baby❤️xxx

OrangeDox EBooks

Orangedox the website which I have used to publish and share my EBOOKS is now taking accounts down and wanting people to pay to use the website and share content. Unfortunately I am unable to commit payments to keep my account going.

So my ebooks on that website will be inaccessible for the moment. I will be trying to make them viewable and downloadable on another service.

I will update and reshare the books when I have sorted this issue. Thank you for reading.

Attached are the stats of the files from views to downloads.

Notable Quotes 2024 PART 1

Life will get harder when you try to take it easy. I know exercising and getting up to do tasks might be harder right now, but never moving and letting yourself go makes life harder. I know uncomfortable conversations are hard...but avoiding every conflict is harder. Furthermore, I know mastering your craft is hard, but having no skill is harder. Taking everything easy has a cost, that's why don't ever be afraid of a harder path that you didn't want to go through, rather than hoping for a life without challenges and taking it easy. Aspire to develop the courage and strength needed to overcome life difficulties. 

No need to doubt yourself, be proud of how far you have come. Most people quit seeing how hard the journey is. You kept on going. Even when the odds were against you. You still stood up, you kept on trying. When no one believed in you, you believed in yourself. 

Behind every failure, pain and suffering, there is someone trying to become the best version of himself. 

You are a good person, hold yourself together and distance yourself from those who are negative for your mental and emotional well-being. The right people will never beg you for anything. People don't neglect those they love. People neglect others when the use for them runs out, or they don't want you apart from their life. 

Sometimes Silence is the best move for disrespectful behaviour. You are worth more than hurtful words or actions of others. The person disrespecting you shows and tells more of them and their character than yours. Your value is not defined by others. 

I am strong, but every once in a while, I need someone to hug me and tell me everything is going to be OK. 

The sun always stands alone but is always shining. 

Remember, no one gives a shit about you. People only care if you do something that impacts them, they remember how you made them feel. People only think of themselves. 

Life moves on, and so should you.

To become who you want to be, you have to sacrifice who you are, you have dreams to chase, not people to impress. 

When the nice guy loses his patience, the demon shivers.

Rest In Peace Akira Toriyama❤️🕊️🐲

My friends and family, it is with the utmost sorrow to say this but legendary manga artist Akira Toriyama has passed away. 

The tributes have been far and wide and from every country on the planet. I've got my own video tribute you can watch here  - https://youtu.be/J7k6xJWilAY?si=uybjK7xGpLBQZvLR

I am absolutely gutted to learn of the passing of the legendary Akira Toriyama😭 He's an inspirational and highly creative figure whose work has inspired generations and his impact on the world is seen often and always felt. Thank you for your work and for inspiring me❤️ 

Dragonball has been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember, from watching it after school with my nan and brother to playing all the games with friends, it's been there and I've cosplayed Goku and I even have a Dragonball tattoo.

Arigato, Rest In Peace. See you in the other world Toriyama Sensei.

My YouTube History 2009-2024

1st September 2009 - Youtube channel born

16 October 09 - First youtube video uploaded  gears of war 2 glitch video.

728 Uploads. 

My youtube has had 247.0K Views so far in it's lifetime. 

2.7K hours watched on my videos. 

Steve And The Family Indeed

Once upon a time in a town not far,
Lived a kind man named Steve, a real shining star.
One sunny day, he met a lady named Eve,
A meeting so sweet, you wouldn't believe.

Steve and Eve, a match made in glee,
Decided together, a family they'd be.
They adopted two kids, oh, so dear,
James and Aimee, spreading joy and cheer.

James loved trains, with wheels that spin,
Chugging and choo-chooing, oh, what a din!
Aimee adored horses, so graceful and strong,
In fields of green, where they'd gallop along.

Together as a family, they'd dance and sing,
Sharing laughter, every little thing.
Steve and Eve, love never-ending,
With James and Aimee, joy they're sending.

In their cosy home, warmth did bloom,
Love and laughter chased away the gloom.
So, here ends the tale of Steve and Eve,
With James and Aimee, who always believe.

For in this family, love's the key,
A story of togetherness, as happy as can be.
No matter where life's adventures may lead,
Steve, Eve, James, and Aimee - a family, indeed!

A Man Named Steve

There once was a man named Steve, he was lovely and always kind you see. 

He met a loving lady who became his wife, named Eve. 

Steve & Eve were happy, they had a home, and all was chappy. 

One day, Eve & Steve decided to help out children in need. 

They adopted children named Aimee & James, who would hope to be freed. 

James was older than Aimee and both were born challenged with disabilities. 

Eve & Steve never allowed them to feel differently. 

Steve takes his family everywhere, holidays, shopping, events and more. 

In Steve's car, no one ever bickered or swore. 

Steve would always cheer when his football team scored. 

Steve had two dogs, one named Sam and another named Leo. 

Leo would be wild and bark at the moon, even on video.  

Sam would be quiet and cuddly and often muddy. 

 

Steve was kind and loving to everyone he met, even to strangers who were upset. 

One day on holiday, James fell and hurt his leg and no longer wanted to play. 

Steve swooped in and saved the day and turned James's frown upside down. 

Whenever Aimee was unwell, Steve would make her day swell. 

James & Aimee may never have known their real Dad, but it didn't make them sad. 

Steve was a nice man and always made his family glad. 

Steve is the best, Friend, husband and Dad that anyone could have ever had. 

Random Ramblin's 50 - The Return Update

24/8/22 - That was the last time I did a Random Ramblin's post. The other random or rambly posts have been a part of my late night series of Ramblin's, which are sort of continuation of these RR posts, but the LNR posts tend to be about 1 topic rather than RR's multiple. Anyway, with that bit of random ramblin all wrapped out and cleared up, let's continue and dive into my life and what exactly has been going on since 24 August 2022.

RANDOM RAMBLIN'S

LIFE

Understandably I went through a rough time in 2022 BUT there were highlights from gigs I attended and of course making new cool friends and memories made with gaming with my existing friends too. RR's have a tendency of having large gaps of time between posts, why? Well the answer is simply I work on other things and forget to update about my life or anything cool or important happened or happening or anything I am looking forward to. So yeah and well outside of blogging and writing, I work and spend time with friends and family and my Girlfriend. Yes, I have a new GF, and she is so special, funny, cute, gorgeous, smart and just the world and more, she is everything I have ever dreamed of, and she makes me happy, and I feel so blessed and lucky and grateful for her and to share a world with her.

Since my last post I finished working the BAR for F&B's and now work as Customer Assistant for a book and hobby craft shop local to me, and it's great honestly, I love it and the crew I work with. I have never been happier in a job than I have in there. I'm also 30 now so wooo hahaha.

My rebuild of myself has been carrying on still as I gym it up, 2 times a week doing some weight lifting and cardio. 5 stone down and kept that 5 stone off last year, which is amazing. I feel my muscles getting bigger and my strength increasing, and I find the gym, fun and enjoyable and I love to go twice a week if I can.

The World Of Wrestling

It's funny how since the last RR post and this one that Vince has left and come back to the WWE twice. He seems to be gone for good now mind as the new allegations are really bad against him and the only way to win is to step down and go fight the allegations and provide the truth and if he is innocent ok that's cool but if not, well that's not good and expect to see him erased from wwe history. The Rock also now is a head shareholder of WWE and also owns his own Trademarked name "The Rock".

Rock is stealing Cody's spot against Roman at Wrestlemania. So Cody dropped his rumble winning privilege for nothing, so what was the point of him winning? I guess time will tell with what happens next as fans rally online for Cody. Oh never mind, during the course of me writing this post things have changed again and Cody Vs Roman is happening at Mania. WWE is also moving to netflix. The network is shutting down and they stopping dvds and blu-rays.

TNA is back and now after all these years of hard work and blood, sweat and tears, the man we owe so much thanks to has been fired from the company. We love and miss you Scott D'Amore.

Sting captured his final title in AEW and that's the tag titles with Darby Allin.

Film & Tv

The Iron Claw, the wrestling movie based on the true tragic story of one of the wrestling worlds most famous family, The Von Erich's is in cinemas now and it's heartbreaking but also spectacular.

A new DragonBall project is coming titled Daima and its set before Super but after Z and all our fave Z warriors been turned to kids again? It looks weird but its going to be something I watch and love no doubt because of DB.

A NEW MY HERO ACADEMIA MOVIE IS COMING!!!!

I re-watched Tomochan is a girl again and it's so lovely🥰 I need the manga and another season.

Music & Gigs

I am off to see Alestorm, Dragonforce & Amaranthe. Unfortunately Sleeptoken Cardiff is sold out😭

Poppy got new song Collab out with Bad Omens called VAN and it's good and catchy.

New band and my current fave album of the year is Dominum's - Hey Living People. It's so good!

The closing notes

I am also on Letterboxd so if you want to see my ratings or some reviews for films, join me there!

https://letterboxd.com/scotty2jonesy

Thanks for reading and visiting my blog today.

Feel free to check out my other blog post's.

Stay Shiny!

Late Night Ramblin's: Vol 11 - Reflecting On My Use Of Social Media

I started getting onto social media back in 2009. Facebook, Youtube, Bebo, MSN Messenger were the first of those sites. Later came Instagram, Facebook, Twitch, TikTok and maybe some others that I no longer remember haha.

When I joined Facebook for a few years, I was addicted and took it as a competition to how many friends you have and would add random people who had similar interests or who had good convos with online in the comments section and yes some of them I still talk to today. Others are long gone and dust in the wind, to many there was nothing evil behind the nature of why I stopped talking or removed them from my Facebook account. Over time, I grew to realize I should not be so open and trusting of strangers and also just keep to people who actually know me and I see or talk to often or who I actually like. Instagram had the same treatment when I joined that site, I'd let anyone follow me and grow my followers, I did have 300 followers, but then I realized not many were liking my stuff or seeing my posts and some become inactive accounts, so I had to clear a lot of that out. There has been one person I did not want to unfollow or remove as a friend, and she did nothing wrong, but in the pandemic I was in a bad mentality of believing no one liked me or cared about me, and I was not hearing off some people or seeing them, and so they were removed for that reason. No one also tells you how addicting it can be to get likes, but over time I have cared less about that whole thing. My social media now is just keep in touch with friends and family and keep highlights and photos for memories. I have been a fool as I have grown up with social media and yes absolutely posted cringe photos and posts and rants. 

When I joined Twitter aka X, It was literally to talk to celebs, wrestlers, bands because that website launched and everyone was saying how "All the celebs are really on there and use that" and It's always a rush when a famous face likes or retweets or replies to you in any way shape or form. I never expect it and screenshot and keep record of those moments because it is just an unexpected rush of happiness. I have been a dumbass on Twitter too and posted cringe and argued over silly and stupid things because I was a stupid teenager. These days I just use Twitter to talk to my friends I made there in America who only use Twitter.

YouTube, I cared about getting views but never had the funds to get better equipment and to get the better views and quality content from gaming. When I finally had a capture card system for my XBOX 360 it was something I could not set up and any help I had well no one could get it to work with my laptop and Xbox, it was weird and a shame it did not work out. Yes these days I do still do YOUTUBE, but I rarely post and the videos are just for my friends and for memory's sake at this point as I capture our dumb and funny moments gaming and any glitches haha. 

TikTok I joined in Pandemic as I was sick of friends sending me stuff and then had to click to try and watch on the app and download the app, and eventually I made one and made some TikToks that I thought be fun to do or chime in on and yeah I ain't posted on there in months. YouTube and TikTok have given me plenty of warnings and content removals, and that does dampen the fun and experience of those sites.

Twitch, I only use twitch to talk to friends and watch their stuff now and again, I don't make content there at all. Msn, Skype & Bebo I used early on in my social life and those sites have been dead for years. Just used to talk to friends on there and that was it. Discord is another I delete and got back a few times because of friends. I mainly use Discord to talk to one of my English friends there, as he hates social media and is not on any now. Snapchat I use every day, mostly talking to my pretty lady or my friends or old friends from work. Whatsapp, I only use for work, nothing else.

So yes, in closing, my use of social media has dwindled down over the years, and now they are treated as conversation points and highlight reels. It is crazy to look back at it all and think in the last 20 years of how much has changed, yes it's not quite 20 years yet, but it's close. Youtube was so good before Google took over. Facebook had games, and now it's trying to be its own cyberverse thing being dubbed Meta and of course Facebook owns more than just Facebook now.