A Year Has Come To Pass

So it's story time.

It has been a year since my life went flipped turned upside down. Time to look back on everything April 13, 2022 to now.....

13/04/22

My girlfriend left me. Turns out she was seeing someone else, a guy I never liked who I also worked with. She claimed to hate him too, but it's obvious lies. Anyway after the split we agreed to keep in touch and be friends. Honestly, I was so hurt and upset. I was angry too. I wanted to hurt myself or worse, kill myself.

I had so much racing through my head, I immediately called Jared, and we met up I went to his. Hugged his mum and hugged Jared and went home played some games to try and just get some sort of calm to my feelings. All the while I was messaging and chatting to those people who were there for me. My family, Annika (Zin),Layla, Lewis G, Jared, James.

A few days after the break-up I went to Birmingham with my best bro James to see Ghost who are one of my fave bands and also Impera is 2022's best album.

I had unhelpful advice and messages from people also. The bad shit I was told was "go get another girl, have a rebound.", "best way over a relationship is getting with someone else", "oh she was your first it's ok don't worry these things happen.". She was not my first, she was my first adult relationship though. No I'm not a rebound or sleep around guy. This just added to my anger because boy did I feel so much anger.

A few days passed, and I messaged her about getting my things back and was left on read. She seen my message and did not reply.

In that time, I played hooky with my previous employer for a week following the break-up and I went on holiday and I handed in my notice of immediate departure soon as I returned. It was the same day as my departure that I returned my ex's things to her home and seen her dad one last time, whilst I was still left on seen message wise and had not had my things back. A month later I had a bag of my things dropped on my door step and on that same day I went to meet up with some friends and I drove past her as she was sat in her car on the end of my street, I made it look like I had not noticed her of course and went about my day.

I was eating and drinking a lot, especially drinking, I was taking a lot of tabs even with alcohol, I was a mess. It was a lot of emotions and to try and deal with, and I had to hear my inner voice and intrusive thoughts just speak so little of me and tell me I'm the bad guy. I was evil. I was to blame for all the rot and for the disintegration of my relationship of 4 years. She blocked me and during this time and processing of things you know, I'd look up her profile and check to see what she was doing and who she was seeing, and I had sneaky suspicion as to who it was, and I have seen and confirmed it, and it made me angry, I did nothing about it other than blocking the guy. I have seen people who I thought I was friends with and liked me turn on me and support them on their relationship and I seen people I thought of as friends posting "congrats, you never looked so happy", "I'm so happy for you", "you deserve each other." The same people that said the same thing to me when I was with my ex. Instead of hanging out with me and meeting up when we had free time in our schedules they would be supporting them. My enemies. That pissed me off, and it made me weed out the poison in my head's garden, and so I removed those people and added them to my hate filled anger that scathed and burnt away at me and coursed through my veins.

I went unemployed for several months. I landed a new job in a beautiful care home, but I could not stick it out because I was not well and in the right headspace for it, so I left it after a month.

There were some things I also felt I had to come to terms with and bury. I have had a lot of resent and regrets of course and I can't do anything about it. I buried my connection to being a father. Me and the ex had 2 miscarriages. So those feelings, the mindset of being a dad and the mentality I carried along with the memories I have put away, I have buried them in a box in order to cope and to move on with my life. I was a dad. I was a lot of things with my ex and through it all, I ensured I was a good man and a good father. Maybe in future relationships a lot of who I am will not come back up on display for my next partner because of the hurt and suffering I have endured during the 4-year relationship I had previously. I do still want to be an actual father to a physical child though. I've had times where I have not and right now I feel like it is something I want because I have kinda always wanted it, it's like a dream. People tend to dream about these fancy moments or dream jobs and I have always dreamt of having my own wife and kids, and so I want that to happen. I want a good woman. I want a son and a daughter. Furthermore, I am human, and these things make me human.

So to continue back to the events of last year, I dug deep into my savings almost spending every thing I had to just survive until I had a new full time job. I went 4 months without a job. My anger was still there, frustration mixed with it over being unsuccessful with employment and opportunities. My sadness was also there.

I found a new job, one I'm still with to this day and although my first month there was tough and gruelling I did enjoy it as opposed to former employers. Funny thing is, it's opposite my old employers haha and yes I did see my ex 2 times in all the time since then to now. Anyway, my first month on my new job, I injured my back lifting heavy objects, so I had some time off and came back and been OK since.

I have seen Rammstein in Cardiff and it was an insane gig! Also attended WWEs Cardiff Ppv clash at the castle.

You know something silly, I have been anxious a lot about going to the local cinema as myself and the ex worked there. I was anxious because I didn't want to run into her or her now partner, because I feared on what I would do or say out of my emotions. I feared lashing out. Happily enough, I am strong-willed and minded because I kept my cool and did not show I cared when I saw certain people and I ignored some very existence. If you don't have the time of day for me, I don't have it for you either. You are with me or against me.

Since January 2023 I've been getting into a better lifestyle and up to now I have lost 3 and a half stone. It's hard work, but it's worthwhile, same as my job.

It's currently now April 13 2023, I am in a much better mental headspace than I have been in years right now. I don't drink much and last time I drank heavily was New Year's Eve 2022. I'm not financially secure, but I work hard as hell and I get a lot of love and praise for it. From my colleagues, to my bosses to even customers, and I'm proud and happy of it and all the love and appreciation I get for all I do. Of course, I wish I had more hours and money that's my goal to work my way back up in the bank. I also want to lose 5 stone, and I'm over half way there. In spare time I'm looking for work, gaming, writing, socialising with friends, making videos, blogging, watching films, attending shows and gigs, listening to music and working out in the gym. I've had my TikTok and YouTube blow up in views.

So, to summarise life is something else, I have been down many times, but I prevail, and I get back up. I don't think I'd ever gotten back up from last year if it wasn't for my special band of friends and family. Layla, Annika, James, Jared, Chlo, Kayl, Lewy G thank you all for doing your part and then some, I love and appreciate you all. Thank you for saving this man, and thank you for cheering me on when I was struggling to continue on. The world needs more people like you all, and I hope you are reading this. Know that if you have helped me that I thank you and I love you. I always will be in your debt and I always will be there for you all, no matter what.

Thank you to my work family and work friends they have also been so lovely, supportive and welcoming to me. Chlo, Bret, Tom, Brandon, Tracy, Sophie, Eva please know I love you all and I am grateful for you all. I don't even know if you will read this but thank you. 

Now saved the best for last, my dear reader. I want to thank you for following my story and this post and my blog in general. Thank you for any and all the support given to me. Please follow and support me on my social media's and chat with me anytime you wish.

I appreciate you!

Thank you!

Random Ramblin's 49 - It's Been A While

So here I am early hours of the morning on the 1st of August 2022, wide awake, listening to music. The usual (I guess). I am here trying to figure out how to write this. I been going between two minds for a while about writing another Random Ramblin's (which is a series of blog posts I do here on my blog which operate sorta like diary entries and place I go to share news and my mind and rant about.)

There's so much that has happened since my last entry, honestly. It's been a hell of a life, is what I have been saying as I have gone through a lot mentally and even physically these past few months to well, almost a year actually.

When was the last time I did a RR? *goes to look up last entry* Ah yes.....September 2021 and it's now.....August 2022. Wow! Time sure does fly! Anyway *Thinks to himself "what the hell do I write about? why am I doing this? why am I talking in my head and also writing this down?" SIGHS* 

Well without further ado, THIS....IS.......

RANDOM RAMBLIN'S!!!!

Alright, alright, alright. First off,

HOW ARE YOU?!

I hope you are well!

LIFE

How am I? Oh well thanks for asking, at the moment I am tired and in a lot of back pain from my new job. Oh yes! I have a new job well this is another another new job. Yes I quit my previous employer the cinema back in April. Also back in April my GF broke up with me but to be honest it looks like she left me for someone else, BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT I digress and this is just from MY VIEW after all and with all due respect, I won't say anything more on this matter. I do miss that Cinema job I'd be lying if I said otherwise.

ANYWAY I quit my Cwtchy cinema job to go work in a care home and It was great BUT I have/had a lot of unsolved trauma and I had so many memories pour back into me with dealing with Dementia residents because of my Nan who I sadly lost 2 years ago. The care home job was not for me at this time being sadly. In the months of May - July, I did not sign on to the Dole as it were and rather I was applying for work and having 2 interviews a week and eventually I landed the job I am in now and you know what, It's hard work right BUT I am liking it. What's my new role? Well I work as a Bartender in a restaurant and it's not as easy as it sounds or looks chief but hey I am enjoying it on most days. 

The past 5 months or so have definitely been a rebuild period for myself. Mentally and physically. It's tough and goes to show a lot of shit catches up to you and ruins you. I'm still on the mend from a lot of mental and physical issues but by taking the right steps daily and recognising when you need help and treatment is important and getting it is even more important and significant. I need to correct my posture and weight more really. I'm a work in progress and I always will be. Destroying bad habits and old habits takes time and a lot of energy and effort and consciousness (let's be fair) to make it all work and run smoothly. So just be aware of what's going on with yourself in your mind and body and try and sort any issues to save yourself in the future. Cheers for reading this bit of ramblin hehe. 😊👍

Unrelated but I have been watching a lot of Bill Burr stand up and Paul Smith stand up. 

Both fantastic comedians and I recommend giving them a nose. 

Wrestling

What a mad few months it has been for the wrestling world. Vince is gone from WWE and HHH is in charge due to the allegations against Vince making him retire from his duties with WWE.

In September WWE has their biggest PPV taking place in Cardiff, Wales and OF COURSE I AM GOING!!!!!

Film & Tv

Shocking and sad news with TV and Film land as Warner Bros have cancelled many films and TV shows including the Scoob sequel and the Batgirl film.

Dragonball Super: Superhero has released and it's incredible and so awesome!

Cw has called time on The Flash with season 9 being the last season and its also the shortest season as its been issued for only 13 episodes.

Gaming

Fortnite X Dragonball Super collab is probably Fort's best collab ever made, it is hella fun!

Music & Gigs

Machine Head, Slipknot and Five Finger Death Punch all got new album is out soon. (as of writing they are due to be released end of August and into September)

I am also seeing Machine Head and Amon Amarth in September!

Also seeing Corey Taylor in October!

Might see Three Days Grace in September but unsure yet it as it depends on my schedule and income.

Anyway that's all I got time for this week Basil haha.

Check me out on youtube & tiktok if you are bored or in need of a laugh.

If you need someone to talk to please give me a message anytime too!

Be well and be safe people!

I am also on Letterboxd so if you want to see my ratings or some reviews for films, join me there!

https://letterboxd.com/scotty2jonesy

Thanks for reading and visiting my blog today.

Feel free to check out other blog post's I have made.

Stay Shiny!

Unable To Sleep, Broken Hearted, Dearly Departed. (Original poem)

I be tossing and turning, unable to sleep, My minds at a loss trying to count the sheep,
I can't move, i can't make a sound, Not even a bleep, All these overbearing things that are on my mind, how they creep.

Thoughts unwanted, head uneasy, am i keeping in too much, My inner voice it echo's such negativity, i want it to shush, I'm having breakout and breakout, skin can't take much more, If i open my mouth and let the unwanted out, will i be sore?.

I know i can't save the world, I know i am limited, I've got the biggest heart, I'm easy to be manipulated, My heart has been broken, torn and worn, These have been some of the best days of my life, I could have sworn.

Pandemic came and created much scare, I gazed into the existential void and await in much despair, 

My head is always sad, I always distract and avoid, I have a short fuse, people easily wind me up and I get so annoyed. 

I feel as if no one cares, no one is here, no one is there, Having lost family, cut off friends, I am signalling a flare, Before me now stands a door, i knock and ask who's there, Darkness and smoke surrounds the room, the bells toll but for whom?.

I have many unanswered questions and many missing scenes, A big part of me has left me to fend on my own, my soul it screams, What do i do, repeats over in my thoughts, was it all for naught?, What am i to do, what do i say, what about the future and the plans we made today. 

Will you befriend me, will you please keep in contact with me, we have a special connection you see, I will always love you and will never forget you or all our good times, this poem has many lines, I started writing this two years ago, late at night unable to neverland i go, Life is strange and this is sad, hope lives, It should always last. 

Sick of the stress, of the anger and diservice of employment, I deserve a better life, brim with enjoyment. The need to be fit is a long lasting goal, with more free time and a better stress-free work/life balance, I should be rolling in the dough. 

I want to raise a family and a home of my own, I want to be happy for the rest of my life, I am almost 30 now and I am scared more than ever of the unknown and of father time, I hope this is going well for you reading this as it's quite hard to rhyme,

I hope you read this and feel something, I wish the one who inspired and helped me for 4 years reads this and knows how special they will always be to me, Keep in touch and catch up sometime with me, I want to know if you will be safe and well, It's time to wrap this up now and to go to sleep. 

I wrote the first two paragraph's back 6/1/2020 @3:30am. Paragraph 3 onwards was written and completed on this date as of writing right now 14/4/22 @3:30am. 

You Are More Than What You Say.

You are not awful when you are tired, you are not gross when you have been sweating, you are not ugly when you are sick, you are not worthless when full of doubt. 

You are not cold when you are caring, you are not selfish when you are learning, you are quite cute when you are frowning, you are always loved and you always matter, when you are depressed. 

You are not a mess when you are feeling anxious, You are an angel and a blessing even in darkness. 

You are not useless when you are feeling unsure, you are not ever alone and you are not ever going to be hurt again for you possess the strength of a nuclear bomb but not only that, you have me also to lean back on. 

It's alright, believe me when i say all this and that you are doing a fantastic job with yourself alright, some days we may fall for sure, it happens but what matters most is how we get up and carry on.

Writen 5/5/20 @ 9pm.

An Evening With Halestorm - LIVE in Cardiff 2022

Halestorm is an American rock band from Red Lion, Pennsylvania, consisting of lead vocalist and guitarist Lzzy Hale, her brother drummer and percussionist Arejay Hale, guitarist Joe Hottinger, and bassist Josh Smith. Playing a staggering 24 track setlist to a sold out crowd in Cardiff's Great Hall. Halestorm knock socks off and blow the roof off with this unique concert experience of An Evening With Halestorm! 

I took my girlfriend to this epic concert and we had an amazing time!

Halestorm played the following songs: Acoustic: Break In, Dear Daughter, Beautiful With You (First time since 2016), Raise Your Horns, Familiar Taste of Poison, I'm Not an Angel, Mz. Hyde, Crazy on You (Heart cover), I Like It Heavy. 

Electric set: Back From the Dead, Apocalyptic, Black Vultures, The Hand, I Get Off, Do Not Disturb, I Am the Fire, *Band Jam*, Amen, *Drum Solo*, Freak Like Me, Love Bites (So Do I), The Steeple

Encore: Here's to Us, Bombshell & I Miss the Misery.

Its been 6 years since I have last seen Halestorm, and they blew me away again and this time they fully converted my Keirs to liking them which as a boyfriend you feel so much joy and happiness about your girlfriend loving something you do I feel😍🥰❤️ I got bit of footage from I am The fire and I miss the misery😁 Lzzy Hale looked so happy and was so appreciative of us fans and being able to play in Cardiff and they treated us to A STACKED 24 TRACK SETLIST WITH ACOUSTIC TO START AND THEN FULL ON ELECTRIC ROCK AND ROLL!!!!!🥵🥰❤️CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THEM AGAIN!!!!❤️

I AM THE FIRE LIVE
I MISS THE MISERY LIVE

10/10 WOULD ATTEND AGAIN!!!

Remembering Jay & Bub Jones

This post is dedicated to my children who I lost due to miscarriage. It's hard to talk about and to have gone through and I miss them dearly as do their mother.

We lost Baby Jay in January 2020.

Our Expected Bump
4:25am 6/1/20
You're so little and you won't be able to hear this yet, 

You won't be able to read or understand any of this either,

But you are so loved, you are so little, so smart, so amazing,

You are being brought up into a big, scary, cold, world,

It's an exciting time to be alive none the less,

You will have two incredible people in your life that are and will be doing everything for you,

You may grow to hate, you will grow to love, listen well and listen close,

We're going to have so much fun, you will be so supported and cared about,

Much more than me and you're mother ever were, we are always here,

We love you little one, we love you squishy, we love you bumpy,

As much as you are expected, you also expect us,

We love you bump, we'll do all that's in our power,

Warmth, Food, Drink, Clothes and a roof await you,
you will be protected against the odds and scary,

Be safe, be careful, shine like a star that you are, love hard, be stronger, be healthy,

Laugh like hell and give the world a heaven and give the bad a hell.

We love you and can't wait to see you

Love DAD & MAM!

Due Date Bump
17th August 2020
We knew you oh so briefly,
We love you so very deeply,
We carry you with us forever,
We adore you for all of life,
We will remember and love you for the rest of our lives,
Every second we carried you was breathtaking,
Mammy was jittery, Daddy was ball of excitement,
The sun shines for you today,
The rain pours for us as we miss your due time,
Rainbows will light the dark cloud we are under,
You will guide us and help us to the right way,
You will always be here,
And so will we,
Baby Jones,
We love you, We see you, We remember you, We love you

Today Is Your Day

Today is the day you should have showed your face to the world,
Today is the day where your first cry would have been heard,
Today is the day where it would have marked the start of many days for years to come,
Today is the day, i would have held you close and called your name, little one,
Today is the day where mam would have been in pain and tears but happy to welcome you to the world,
Today is the day you would have taken your first breaths and ate your first meal,
Today should have been the day we take you home in our arms,
Today is the day in which we mourn your departure,
Today is the day we honour your memory and think of you more than ever,
Today is the day we send our love, give our thanks, and pray to you,
Today is the day where it's raining but there's a rainbow too,
Today is the day where the rainbow is shining, sparkling, bright just like you,
Today is the day we look up towards the stars and see a bright spark marking where you are,
Today would have been yours to hold, Today should have been ours,
Today is your day. 

https://visufund.com/miscarriage-association-lights-of-love-tree/?o=B97

We also lost another baby in September 2021 

(during this time I had covid so my gf had to go through it on her own as I had to isolate for 14 days), 

We called them Bub and they would have been born 20/4/22. 

This post is for them. 

Grey Skies Will Fade Away - Poem

Although the skies are grey,

And you're mind is unclear,

Know that i will sit beside you,

And it will all be okay my dear,

I know its tough right now,

And emotions are high,

But rest easy knowing i am by your side,

The rain will ease away,

And We will welcome a rainbow to stay,

Brighter days are coming,

For as long as you are still smiling,

The world is beautiful and full of vibrant colours,

With you here, this world will never get duller,

Thank you for being the light in the dark,

Thank you for holding onto me during stormy seas,

Thank you for being the sense and calm in my madness,

Thank you for all you're beautiful words and emotions,

Thank you for all the love you give me,

Thank you for not giving up and staying here,

Don't give up, Stand unbroken,

Continue to grow and heal and continue evolving,

For the hurt and anger and depression and anxiety you live with,

I am sorry for those who brought the worst to you and tried to destroy you,

You are in control and all is well now, no need to be afraid,

No harm will ever come to you, No harm should have ever came to you,

We can't rewind time, but if we could we would,

We would meet sooner, laugh harder,

Never stop smiling, Live together longer,

We would do as we are doing now, live and conquer,

Us against the world and not at each other,

Thank you for being the best team mate i could ever wish for,

Thank you for warming my heart up,

Thank you for making me smile and laugh so hard,

Thank you for making so many beautiful memories with me,

Thank you for helping me grow and learn,

Thank you for loving and holding me,

Thank you for staying with me,

I know how excited and happy and joyous i get at times,

Be it about seeing you again, Or hearing or seeing something amazing,

You continue to inspire and motivate me and make me sane,

I know some days are harder than others,

But nothing truly beats laying with you under the covers,

Stay strong my sunflower, for you will bloom again soon,

It's not easy living in our heads,

At least we have each other.

Missing You Is Like Missing A Limb

In a world where lockdown runs wild,

And Quarantine reigns supreme,

We must not be lost, or apart, nor blind,

Where our fave musicians are all live on stream,

We can only blame that dreaded Covid-19,

We are forced apart, for safety,

For family, for the world,

All we have is our word,

I miss my lady, my baby,

Missing you is like missing a limb,

I awake expecting to see you next to me,

I wake thinking this is the day things won't be grim,

It's easy to escape this reality,

We have to dream, we will meet again,

Our world feels like a movie,

Surreal, uneasy, peaceful, eerie,

Some are trying to not to listen, taking all for free,

When they hear daily to stay home, we are living in history,

This has not happened before, it probably won't happen again in our lifetime,

It's okay to lose your cool and to whine, 

Missing you is like missing a limb,

Feels like you have always been here, 

I am lost now without you near,

It feels like i am missing skin,

You are always on my mind,

Sleep well, take care, be kind,

It's hard and we are all suffering,

We are in different ways handling,

Stress, anxiety, depression runs amok, 

So we have to stay home and read, lets pick a book,

Let's continue to reach out, to talk, to support and love from afar,

For the time will come one day soon where we will hold eachother and smile with tears,

For this lockdown and quarantine will not last for years,

Missing you is like missing a limb,

I move, i turn, i think, i hold, i don't feel the same,

I think of you more than ever, 24/7,

Hearing from you is like getting a little piece of heaven,

I'm sorry it's unpleasant, i'm sorry it's difficult,

The pain i feel, is so surreal, The world has me so bummed,

I can't wait for the day our hands to touch again,

May our souls shine bright, until then.

Slipknot - A write up

So myself and my beautiful Girlfriend watched the BBC documentary on Slipknot all out life and she had many questions so i have decided to compile a bunch of information for her and anyone else to understand Slipknot more and i have provided info via my memory and via the wiki on them to compile a quite in-depth look at the biggest metal band going strong today. 

Slipknot is an American nu-metal band from Des Moines, Iowa. The band was founded in 1995 by percussionist Shawn Crahan, drummer Joey Jordison and bassist Paul Gray. After several lineup changes in its early years, the band settled on nine members for more than a decade: Crahan, Jordison, Gray, Craig Jones, Mick Thomson, Corey Taylor, Sid Wilson, Chris Fehn, and Jim Root. Gray died on May 24, 2010, and was replaced during 2011–2014 by guitarist Donnie Steele. Jordison was dismissed from the band on December 12, 2013. Steele left during the recording sessions for .5: The Gray Chapter. The band found replacements in Alessandro Venturella on bass and Jay Weinberg on drums. After the departure of Jordison, as of December 2013 the only founding member in the current lineup is percussionist Crahan. Fehn was also dismissed from the band in March of 2019 prior to the writing of We Are Not Your Kind. Joey Jordison suggested naming the band Slipknot, after a song they had made on their debut album mate, feed, kill, repeat. Slipknot's fans are called maggots why? Corey and Crahan once said in an interview they were doing a show with a large number of people, and when they looked at the crowd, they looked like writhing maggots jumping around, so they decided to call them that henceforth.

Slipknot 1999

Slipknot 2019

Slipknot is well known for its attention-grabbing image, aggressive style of music, and energetic and chaotic live shows. The band rapidly rose to fame following the release of their eponymous debut album in 1999. The 2001 follow-up album, Iowa, although darker in tone, made the band more popular. After a brief hiatus, Slipknot returned in 2004 with Vol. 3: (The Subliminal Verses), before going on another hiatus and returning in 2008 with its fourth album, All Hope Is Gone, which debuted at number one on the Billboard 200 chart. After another long hiatus, Slipknot released its fifth studio album, .5: The Gray Chapter, in 2014. Their sixth studio album, We Are Not Your Kind, was released on August 9, 2019. The band has sold 30 million records worldwide as of writing. In early 2000, Slipknot was certified platinum; a first for an album released by Roadrunner Records. 2006 saw Slipknot win their first Grammy Award, picking up the Best Metal Performance award for the single "Before I Forget".The single went on to be featured on the set list of Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock. Slipknot's first annual music festival, called Knotfest, was held on August 17, 2012, in Iowa. The festival also debuted a Slipknot museum. "The Negative One" was nominated for the 2014 Grammy Award for Best Metal Performance at the 57th Annual Grammy Awards. Slipknot have been nominated for ten Grammy Awards and have won one.

The band's sound typically features a heavily down-tuned guitar setup, a large percussive section, sampling, keyboards and DJ'ing. Using a variety of vocal styles, the music typically features growled vocals, screaming, backing vocals, as well as melodic singing. The band has continually experimented with its sound. Slipknot's lyrics are generally very aggressive; they sometimes include profanity while exploring themes such as darkness, nihilism, anger, disaffection, love, misanthropy, and psychosis. They often draw upon topics including the music industry, politics, personal strife, and reflection, among others. 

The members perform wearing unique, individual facemasks and matching uniforms typically jumpsuits while each member is typically assigned and referred to by number based on their role in the band, although the latter practice has diminished following the death of Paul Gray. The band has said the idea of wearing masks stemmed from a clown mask that Crahan took to rehearsals when the band first started. The concept developed; by late 1997, the band decided every band member would wear a unique mask and matching jumpsuit. Taylor said in 2002, "it's our way of becoming more intimate with the music. It's a way for us to become unconscious of who we are and what we do outside of music. It's a way for us to kind of crawl inside it and be able to use it." The concept of wearing matching jumpsuits has been described as a response to commercialism in the music industry and led to the idea of assigning the band members numerical aliases. According to Taylor, "Originally, we were just going to wear the jumpsuits, we figured we might as well take that further and number ourselves. We were basically saying, 'Hey, we're a product!'".

During their careers, the members of Slipknot have developed their images, updating their uniforms and each member's mask upon the release of each album. Jordison, in an interview in 2004, said the masks are updated to show growth within each individual. Slipknot's members have worn special masks for specific occasions, most notably for the music video and live performances of "Vermilion" in 2004 and 2005 when they wore life masks made from casts of their own faces.  In 2008, the band wore a set of large masks titled "purgatory masks" during photograph shoots before the release of All Hope Is Gone; in the music video for "Psychosocial" they are seen burning them. The band's image has been the subject of much criticism and controversy, with critics generally accusing it of being a sales gimmick. The band's members object to these claims; according to them the masks are used to divert attention from themselves and put it on the music. Several band members have said wearing the masks helps to maintain privacy in their personal lives. During an interview in 2005, percussionist Fehn said the masks were a "blessing" because they meant the members are not recognised in public.

An essential element for the band's image is the Slipknot logo. The nonagram was created by the band's members around the same time the band was founded. The nonagram is arguably the best-known sigil of Slipknot and it represents a 9-point star, a symbol of unity, loyalty, friendship and remembrance. Despite popular belief, the nonagram is not a Satanist symbol and instead represents Slipknot's "battle with the fake world.". 

Slipknot's music and image have been the subject of many controversies throughout its career. The lyrical content of some of Slipknot's songs has been linked to several violent and criminal incidents. In 2003, two young killers blamed the lyrics of "Disasterpiece" for their crime. In 2006, the lyrics of "Surfacing" were found at the site of a grave robbery. In 2008, Corey Taylor commented on a slashing incident at a South African school to which Slipknot was linked; he said: "obviously, I'm disturbed by the fact that people were hurt and someone died, as far as my responsibility for that goes, it stops there, because I know our message is actually very positive and there are always going to be mental disorders and people who cause violence for no other reason than the fact that they're fucked up and lost." Also the band has had a notable fued with Mushroomhead and Burger King. 

Someone last year compiled a list of words most used in Slipknots song catalogue.

Here is the 10 slipknot songs i utterly loved when i ranked them in 2016 and there's been newer songs since obviously but this is pretty good as it is. So do look this up once you have read all this :) - https://1stmetalgodsblog.blogspot.com/2016/09/top-10-slipknot-songs.html 

This has me telling you my interpretations of the songs on the list also. I have compiled what i can at best. 

Stay shiny and thanks for reading!

Stay safe during the caronavirus pandemic too people!

Babymetal Cardiff February 20th 2020

Myself and my wonderful beautiful girlfriend went to see Babymetal at Cardiff's great hall on 20th feb 2020!

With support from Creeper who were pretty good but Babymetal were amazing and i'd love to see again they are so cute fun and energetic! Cardiff's the great hall is under some work at the moment which made the queuing in a mess but hey got inside in plenty of time. 

The set was short but sweet. I recorded little bits not much as i kept running out of storage :( but what i got was epic! 

Thanks for reading and watching the youtube videos. See you again soon and stay shiny!

(a post about the January 30th Five Finger Death Punch concert is still yet to come, just need to sort videos out)

Jonas Brothers - 29th January - Birmingham 2019

Who: Jonas Brothers with support from Livvia, Jordan Mcgraw, Picture This!

Where: Birmingham Arena - 29 January 2019

taken before it got so crowded inside :)

What I wrote on social media: "29th January was a unique new experience in going to a concert with my girlfriend and for first time in BIRMINGHAM. Long day, but it was a good performance and concert from the Jonas Brothers and the support acts. I love my baby and her family so much and I am so thankful and grateful for the opportunity to go to Birmingham with her and share that experience together, much love!"

I attended this concert and it was very unique experience and it was a good concert and a great fun day out and i enjoyed and it. Myself and my girlfriend went to see The Jonas Brothers! 

It was the first concert i have seen with my girlfriend and my first pop concert so it was a different unique experience but overall we both enjoyed!!! What was so unique? Besides it being the first concert i attended with my girlfriend and besides it being in a different city and country and besides the audience being different from what i have been used to at metal gigs? Oh hmmm i don't know, i can't quite put my finger on it hahaha. Just kidding of course but all those besides above are what made it so unique and a new experience for me really. 

We travelled up to Birmingham and the way back home took ages due to some ridiculous road works and closures but we did it and i went onto another gig the next day!!! 

So yes i would see them again with my beautiful Mrs :D 

(Yo Jonas's come a bit closer to Wales next time!)

(more on the 30th January 2019 gig soon..) 

So thanks for reading and visiting the blog, much love, remember to stay shiny!

SEE YOU SOON!

It's been a year!

It's been a year since I first saw you. It's been a year since I joked at you not lasting in work long. It's been a year since, I laughed at you not being able to do screen checks due to scary films.

It's been a year since I messaged you asking if you could cover my shift for me and I'll cover one of yours for you. 28/9/18 we shift swapped. It's been a year since you said yes. 

It's been a year since I asked you how it went. It's been a year since we opened. It's been a year since we talked about life so far and when we was born. It's been a year since I kept asking and wondering when you'd be in and when I'd work with you next. 

It's been a year since I held your hand and danced with you and talked about music at that work Xmas doo. It's been a year since new years and the nights and days we constantly spent messaging each other and we haven't stopped, we started 19/12/18 to constantly be in touch with one another. 

It's been a year since we first cwtched and snuggled. Its been a year since I told you I fancied you, liked you and more than that. It's been a year baby, where we said to one another, I'd love to spend life with you. It's always and forever that, I will love you.

It's been a year sweetheart and I love you to bits!

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx