Late Night Ramblin's Vol10 - The Friend Crisis

 So it's currently the 20th October, it's late, and I am wide awake. Something is bothering me..... I did have a mini rant on my closed friend Instagram stories and the rant was basically about one of my friends and how it feels like he is neglecting his true friends and how no matter his down-and-out state he never seems to listen to advice or take any help and continues to just thrive around in his muddy mind. 

Read the next few images to get what was on my mind and how I have been feeling lately....if my friend is reading this just know this is just out of love and care and frustration, I want what is best for you, and obviously I don't want to feel like i have been replaced or discarded, and I don't want excuses from you, I want the truth and just want to help you. I may regret saying all this or posting this, and I am sorry just, i needed to get this off my chest and mind because it was suffocating me. 

So yeah, am I right in what I say and been feeling? Or am I just going insane and being delusional or jealous or whatever else. I think it's just my caring nature and wanting better for my friend. I have seen him through these situations many times, but this time seems to be the worst of them all. Anyway, It's been a crappy week for me just some stuff going on, I'll be fine soon, and I got Electric Callboy LIVE soon, so I am hyper hyper for that haha. 

A Year Has Come To Pass

So it's story time.

It has been a year since my life went flipped turned upside down. Time to look back on everything April 13, 2022 to now.....

13/04/22

My girlfriend left me. Turns out she was seeing someone else, a guy I never liked who I also worked with. She claimed to hate him too, but it's obvious lies. Anyway after the split we agreed to keep in touch and be friends. Honestly, I was so hurt and upset. I was angry too. I wanted to hurt myself or worse, kill myself.

I had so much racing through my head, I immediately called Jared, and we met up I went to his. Hugged his mum and hugged Jared and went home played some games to try and just get some sort of calm to my feelings. All the while I was messaging and chatting to those people who were there for me. My family, Annika (Zin),Layla, Lewis G, Jared, James.

A few days after the break-up I went to Birmingham with my best bro James to see Ghost who are one of my fave bands and also Impera is 2022's best album.

I had unhelpful advice and messages from people also. The bad shit I was told was "go get another girl, have a rebound.", "best way over a relationship is getting with someone else", "oh she was your first it's ok don't worry these things happen.". She was not my first, she was my first adult relationship though. No I'm not a rebound or sleep around guy. This just added to my anger because boy did I feel so much anger.

A few days passed, and I messaged her about getting my things back and was left on read. She seen my message and did not reply.

In that time, I played hooky with my previous employer for a week following the break-up and I went on holiday and I handed in my notice of immediate departure soon as I returned. It was the same day as my departure that I returned my ex's things to her home and seen her dad one last time, whilst I was still left on seen message wise and had not had my things back. A month later I had a bag of my things dropped on my door step and on that same day I went to meet up with some friends and I drove past her as she was sat in her car on the end of my street, I made it look like I had not noticed her of course and went about my day.

I was eating and drinking a lot, especially drinking, I was taking a lot of tabs even with alcohol, I was a mess. It was a lot of emotions and to try and deal with, and I had to hear my inner voice and intrusive thoughts just speak so little of me and tell me I'm the bad guy. I was evil. I was to blame for all the rot and for the disintegration of my relationship of 4 years. She blocked me and during this time and processing of things you know, I'd look up her profile and check to see what she was doing and who she was seeing, and I had sneaky suspicion as to who it was, and I have seen and confirmed it, and it made me angry, I did nothing about it other than blocking the guy. I have seen people who I thought I was friends with and liked me turn on me and support them on their relationship and I seen people I thought of as friends posting "congrats, you never looked so happy", "I'm so happy for you", "you deserve each other." The same people that said the same thing to me when I was with my ex. Instead of hanging out with me and meeting up when we had free time in our schedules they would be supporting them. My enemies. That pissed me off, and it made me weed out the poison in my head's garden, and so I removed those people and added them to my hate filled anger that scathed and burnt away at me and coursed through my veins.

I went unemployed for several months. I landed a new job in a beautiful care home, but I could not stick it out because I was not well and in the right headspace for it, so I left it after a month.

There were some things I also felt I had to come to terms with and bury. I have had a lot of resent and regrets of course and I can't do anything about it. I buried my connection to being a father. Me and the ex had 2 miscarriages. So those feelings, the mindset of being a dad and the mentality I carried along with the memories I have put away, I have buried them in a box in order to cope and to move on with my life. I was a dad. I was a lot of things with my ex and through it all, I ensured I was a good man and a good father. Maybe in future relationships a lot of who I am will not come back up on display for my next partner because of the hurt and suffering I have endured during the 4-year relationship I had previously. I do still want to be an actual father to a physical child though. I've had times where I have not and right now I feel like it is something I want because I have kinda always wanted it, it's like a dream. People tend to dream about these fancy moments or dream jobs and I have always dreamt of having my own wife and kids, and so I want that to happen. I want a good woman. I want a son and a daughter. Furthermore, I am human, and these things make me human.

So to continue back to the events of last year, I dug deep into my savings almost spending every thing I had to just survive until I had a new full time job. I went 4 months without a job. My anger was still there, frustration mixed with it over being unsuccessful with employment and opportunities. My sadness was also there.

I found a new job, one I'm still with to this day and although my first month there was tough and gruelling I did enjoy it as opposed to former employers. Funny thing is, it's opposite my old employers haha and yes I did see my ex 2 times in all the time since then to now. Anyway, my first month on my new job, I injured my back lifting heavy objects, so I had some time off and came back and been OK since.

I have seen Rammstein in Cardiff and it was an insane gig! Also attended WWEs Cardiff Ppv clash at the castle.

You know something silly, I have been anxious a lot about going to the local cinema as myself and the ex worked there. I was anxious because I didn't want to run into her or her now partner, because I feared on what I would do or say out of my emotions. I feared lashing out. Happily enough, I am strong-willed and minded because I kept my cool and did not show I cared when I saw certain people and I ignored some very existence. If you don't have the time of day for me, I don't have it for you either. You are with me or against me.

Since January 2023 I've been getting into a better lifestyle and up to now I have lost 3 and a half stone. It's hard work, but it's worthwhile, same as my job.

It's currently now April 13 2023, I am in a much better mental headspace than I have been in years right now. I don't drink much and last time I drank heavily was New Year's Eve 2022. I'm not financially secure, but I work hard as hell and I get a lot of love and praise for it. From my colleagues, to my bosses to even customers, and I'm proud and happy of it and all the love and appreciation I get for all I do. Of course, I wish I had more hours and money that's my goal to work my way back up in the bank. I also want to lose 5 stone, and I'm over half way there. In spare time I'm looking for work, gaming, writing, socialising with friends, making videos, blogging, watching films, attending shows and gigs, listening to music and working out in the gym. I've had my TikTok and YouTube blow up in views.

So, to summarise life is something else, I have been down many times, but I prevail, and I get back up. I don't think I'd ever gotten back up from last year if it wasn't for my special band of friends and family. Layla, Annika, James, Jared, Chlo, Kayl, Lewy G thank you all for doing your part and then some, I love and appreciate you all. Thank you for saving this man, and thank you for cheering me on when I was struggling to continue on. The world needs more people like you all, and I hope you are reading this. Know that if you have helped me that I thank you and I love you. I always will be in your debt and I always will be there for you all, no matter what.

Thank you to my work family and work friends they have also been so lovely, supportive and welcoming to me. Chlo, Bret, Tom, Brandon, Tracy, Sophie, Eva please know I love you all and I am grateful for you all. I don't even know if you will read this but thank you. 

Now saved the best for last, my dear reader. I want to thank you for following my story and this post and my blog in general. Thank you for any and all the support given to me. Please follow and support me on my social media's and chat with me anytime you wish.

I appreciate you!

Thank you!

Random Ramblin's 45 - May Rant 2021

 Rant time!!!!! 

I'm frustrated with some stories and so I'm going to just post my angry thoughts here about them to keep me sane and not from exploding in myself. It's mental health week and itv is good boy for always promoting "Britain get talking" yeah let's talk about all our feelings let's be humans and let's just rant too its normal and healthy. Anyway....

The uk gov can't keep us under their thumbs, it's like a soap TV episode where some baddie be plotting takeover to keep everyone quiet because if not they will pass flu on to everyone and kill everyone as they promised and made threats to, in order to control everyone and they  the baddie makes themselves out to be "The greater good" by trying to make themselves appear to be a good guy when really they are salt of the earth.

The UK gov are so stupid for Inviting other variants over by letting anyone from any country into ours because they care more about tourism or rather TEH MONEH! The UK needs to take note of New Zealand tactics and lock down borders ffs. This is getting ridiculous and I will not live my life locked up and restricted, if I wanted that life I'd go to jail myself and I'm not the only one in UK who feels this way and I'm sorry but I have to say it. 

Further more with the jail note. Reports on news was saying "Prisoners are campaigning for vaccine because they don't feel like they are being treated as human beings and a part of society" I'm sorry but they did bad shit and for a reason, are removed and not apart of society anymore and should just leave them there but vaccinate the staff working there because only way prisoners could get covid is from staff bringing it in, in the first place. Again I'm sorry but had to say something, I can't feel bad for people in jail unless they are falsely jailed. 

TV rant, the friends reunion for months has been built up on "it's a new episode" and then lots of pointless celebs announced for it and then people are saying "it's just a sit down chat" so they've falsely advertised this for months so pardon me for feeling resent towards this "reunion episode" now. 

Cardiff wanting to demolish motorpoint arena for a canal has me annoyed. RCT council wanting to destroy things and replace with houses which may I add are thrown up and tend to lack some safety checks and features is wrong too and annoys me. They want to get rid of a bridge to put another bridge in, further down in Aberdare, it's a bit daft so is the new Heads of the valley road proposal and don't get me started on how ugly the environment is looking with so many trees destroyed around RCT. And don't get me started on irresponsible people who are reckless drivers and the people who start forest and wild fires they are pricks.

All drivers just like all people have a duty of care, it's just a shame so many people are shallow and idiotic to forget about that duty of care.

Peace to everyone! Try to have a good day, I feel better for ranting haha. Thanks for reading!

Do Not Doubt Your Abilities!

My friends do not doubt yourself and your abilities! 

Honestly if you can draw, play guitar, code games, play any instrument, or write songs or poems, or play games professionally or play sport professionally etc. These are talents!

Basically if you have a talent do not put yourself down and be like "i'm not talented, i wish i was better at it" no no no that is all wrong! 

You can play guitar you know how much of a talent and skill that is? 

You can play games and get paid for it and you can make your own games and so do you know how talented you are for that!?

You can draw so much amazing things, you are talented! 

Do not doubt yourself!

Sleepless Nights & Tired Eyes (original poem) by Scott Jones

Sleepless nights and tired eyes,

Screams of hunger in the middle of the night,

Cries of changing, keep me ever so on guard,

I try to silence them for you to get your rest,

We created a beautiful being,

You pushed and kept giving but they were no longer comfy in their cell,

They impatiently made us wait 9 months to arrive into our lives,

And how thankful and happy we are now,

As we hold hands bearing witness to our blessing of life,

To see the product of half of my life and half of yours in a single being,

The tale of equivalent exchange we heard a long time ago,

The best stories always stick with us,

I am so happy to have been blessed with such amazing people,

Those who stuck by my side through the thick and thin,

To my wife who has helped bandage up my mortal wounds,

To my child who has the light of hope inside them to carry on,

For my family who raised me with kindness and respect and love,

To my friends who have been there when i had none of that which i have now,

I thank you all for following me, it's a tough old life,

I hope we can all sit around a table when we are old and grey and look back,

Hopefully we can all smile and say we made it,

Dearest darling wife and i will be happily sat in our homes at 90 smiling,

Surrounded by our children and their children,

Oh such happy times and many rainbows all to come,

We have endured such storms and we'll all endure many more,

We will all survive and live happily ever after.....

Random Ramblin's 40 - Are You Watching Facebook Man!?

Hello everyone, back so soon? I know what's going on?
THIS IS MY 300TH POST!

Life

Been having car problems after problems after problems so annoying and frustrating, how is it possible to live life without any stresses or worries when cars keep haemorrhaging money out of me. 

Besides car worries and the rant just below this, it's not all been all gloomy in my recent times. I went away with the Mrs to Quay West and we had a lush time, I highly recommend everyone go to Quay West and Ceredigion and Aberaeron also. 

I went with the Mrs to watch NXT UK Live in Cardiff, we went to the takeover live ppv show and the Sunday tv tapings and we thoroughly enjoyed. It was so amazing, sure Sunday was longer and it was so uncomfortable seating wise compared to the night before. Saturday we was on top in the middle of the tiered seating which gave us a fantastic view and we was comfy and it was so great. Sunday we sat 10 rows from the ring which was amazing too but the seats were so cramped and uncomfy it did my head in and has messed up my knee as it still hurts now. All in all we enjoyed so much we can't wait to do it again if they come back to Cardiff. The crowd was amazing and the chants were epic! P.s. The title of this post was a chant.

I recently also won a massive teddy from a local arcade and honestly it's huge it's bloody 6ft for christ sake haha. I gave it to my Mrs and it was bloody insane everyone was looking at me and they looked so amazed and jealous haha. It was stuck in a machine where you hold a button and release when the scissors gets to the string holding the bear and you release and it cuts it and it took me 2 goes which is £3 as it was £1 a go so three goes and i had it. I told her i'm gonna win that! I did! Call me Arcade King!

MUSIC

Taylor's new album is out and i like a few songs, such as; Lover, Me!, Paper Rings, I forgot that you existed, Cornelia St and Cruel Summer.

Slipknot's new album is out too and from this new album We Are Not Your Kind i love the following songs; Unsainted, Birth Of The Cruel, Nero Forte, Spiders, Critical Darling, Solway Faith, Red Flag and Orphan.

TOOL ARE BACK!
(I've not listened to their album Fear Inoculum as of writing)

A note on music: Music, it's starts with a sound, add in some repetition and the brain will think it's a song or it will mold it into a song so to speak. Music is amazing it can help people relearn how to speak, help people with movement disabilities move more, music can act like a drug aswell and has a deep connection to our feelings. Music itself is culturally universal and as far as we are aware other primates don't really get the same feeling of beats like we do it's been said. All music starts as air before we hear it, repeated sound creates rhythm, it all goes in through our ear processed via our brains and that is where we make it out and develop a love or a dislike to music and some music in general really. Back in 2009 scientists and the world discovered an animal that would move along to the music in time even when the track was sped up or down and more animals have been discovered to be able to do this since that wonderful Cockatoo named Snowball almost ten years ago. Ronin a sea lion in California is the first non human mammal confirmed to really get grooving with Earth Wind and Fire in a Boogie Wonderland. When sounds repeat fast enough we hear it as a pitch and multiple pitches create harmony. Octaves are pitches with double or half the frequency of another. Major scale is associated with happy feelings and minor meaning the opposite but of course this is not universal because someone in another country could experience the opposite where the minor is happy and major is sad.

Games
I want to play Gears 5 and Man Of Medan. Fortnite is going mental but i am not playing it so much now a days. Been playing Lego Undercover at the moment, it's alright like. Restarted Animal Crossing New Leaf as things fucked up so i can't wait to get back into that. 

"Do you think a chair ever wants to sit on a person?"

Thanks for reading, stay tuned for more lists and other bits here on my blog! 

STAY SHINY!

Random Ramblin's 23 - IT'S A NEW YEAR,YES IT IS!

Alo! Said Spoon. Jesse? Achtung? No idea there but hellooooooo. So my blogs i think i will do a monthly thing so near the end of every month there should be one out at least so yeah.

Holiday Rant - The fact that there are Cadbury cream eggs out already really is baffling to me. It's like the corporations want us to be spending on the next holiday already. Ease the fuck up like. I do like cream eggs and all of Easters goodies but Jesus go back to your cave and come out later rather than now. Like how October time Christmas starts to get stuffed down our throats it's not right as October is Halloween season. I think Valentines is the only holiday to bring stuff out in the right time frame which normally is around a week before Valentines day. Just gotta get a rant out of my system it's been a while.

The (Scott) Jones Show launches on Cylent Beatz youtube channel - So in December i was asked if i wanted to do a video series of interviews with the artist's of cylent beatz and of course i said yes. Yes i am nervous as hell and not as confident and prepared as i could have been during this series. During breaks i would look to the couch and there was my notepad full of questions and i am a not so confident shy guy so yeah i do stumble my words sometimes due to my nerves and stuff and do tend to forget. I am not much of a public speaker either so in a studio full of people i hardly know i guess its normal that i am nervous doing all of this. The interviews we all shot in two days. Reviews so far have been positive which is so awesome. Over 65 views last i checked too which of course again is so awesome! Also i got to plug this again so if you have not seen it, here it is - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q55jfvBNWxo . I will also add the name since pre-production of the show has changed since it has been uploaded. It was called The Jones Show but now i see its called The Scott Jones show.

So 11/1/16 David Bowie died.......huh......well then......That is all i will say, i was not a fan of him and i am leaving it at that.

WWE 2K16 MY CAREER - What a fucking grind this mode is. Worse mode in a game i have ever played in my whole life. FINALLY I GOT THE LAST TITLE NOW I AM DONE WITH THIS MODE AND GAME OVERALL TBH I WILL RETURN WHEN NEEDED BUT AT THE MOMENT FUCK THIS FUCKING BASTARD GAME! HALL OF FAME AND RETIRED NOW!

Force Awakens 2ND VIEWING - Still a great film my score for it still remains an 8/10 but all i will say right here is the first time you see it is just experience the second is to see things you missed.

Friends that hate other friends - I kinda fuckign hate this like i have friends and i love all my friends they rock,but i hate how some are like kids just like in a school yard "oh i cant stand so and so please keep them away from me" im like "dude come on now, whats the problem like? what you dont like them? why? because you dont know them that well? really? come on i thought you were better than this?" its just so petty and annoys me but thats how people are! Not everyone will get along! It is a shame when you have friends and your friends dont get along with your other friends but thats the way it is so fuck it.

Bettering yourself costs mega bucks every year! - YES ITS FUCKING PAINFULLY TRUE! You want to lose some weight? Prepare to loosen that income too. You want to look hench? Well prepare for no income. You want to learn this skill? Please pay me £59. How about fucking off and giving people shit for free? Yes we all need to make a living but for fuck sake DONT BE ROBBING US OFF!!! NEW YEAR,NEW ME AND LESS CASH! Yes that is how it goes and its such a fucking shit thing! HOW DOES SALAD COST MORE THAN A BURGER!? WHAT WORLD IS THIS!? NO WONDER I CANT DIET PROPER!!!! Fuck this shitty corporation sheet.

ALAN RICKMAN AND BRIAN BEDFORD HAS DIED........FUCK YOU CANCER YOU CAN FUCK OFF!

THE SNOW IS COMING! - GRAB YOUR BREAD AND MILK!!! SNOW IS COMING!!!! ER MEH GAWD!!!!!

WAR GAMES RESPAWN - I had the privilege to take part in Team Respawns video the other day which was awesome and here is the video do check it out! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-7QUkRCqV0

Techo-Gripped - It is mad how much technology has us gripped. I am taking my laptop into a repair shop to get looked at and im just like "nao my babys leaving meeeeeee" haha its pretty mad.


I went behind the scenes of a local artist music video shoot this week - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neT7ZJil55k

Phil Anselmo Dimebash incident commentary - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djqrlC9IFGQ

Ok so i was thinking of giving this a break for a while so if you do not hear from me on here in a while well wait a bit longer or come poke me with a stick :P see you soon.

Random Ramblin's - Part 8 - Post Con Blues?

Alri?

The past week has been insane and i have not been myself at all. I have been idle rather. Lights are on but i am not in entire control. Its weird trust me. I do feel and see the days this week going by me really fast and its been sad and annoying to experience. Yes i went to LFCC and met some amazing people and even my hero JDF but it was still affecting me my idle-ness and i did loose it for a few mins to smile when i met jdf and some other guests but you know after the meeting with them. it was still there and i do not know what it is. It has been affecting my excitement for lfcc and for having my days off work a lot this past week.UPDATE****I am feeling better now but I am tired atm and another update is i cant seem to concentrate again i or rather it feels like my mind is locked in a box. god i sound mental and stuff i know but i am normal to my knowledge just now and then get this weird thing that i am currently still in.

Toys - What a weird topic scott! I KNOW BUT HEAR ME OUT! I was babysitting my nephew and you know we engaged into a toy combat with his toys he had brought with him an unopened toy which had a sword so i opened it for him and now the sword with the toy was feeling like it was gonna break soon it was soo bendy so i gave it to my nephew and he put the sword in the figures sword holster or the scabbard if you want to get fancy technical. Anyway, he put it in then pulled it out or tried to and the handle broke which left him really shocked and sad he was like "oh no" i said to him "don't worry im sure i got superglue somewhere here" and i did not find any but i used blue tack and he just said "yay thanks" and then left it blue tacked and stuck in the holster so thats good but the point i am making is they do not make toys aswell as they used to. Toys when i was a kid were of course breakable and did break but only after overuse or a nasty bang with the toy not just break as soon as you take the thing out.  Toys also seem to be very pricey these days. Toys are still cool though!

Sick people (i'm bard please notice it and take care of me) - Why do sick people or to be more accurate people with cold or flu see the need in telling everyone they are sick? Like don't touch me or speak to me if you are sick because I might get it, and I'd not want to be sick with your cold or flu. Also they normally feel the need to remind everyone they are bedridden and ill sorry I think you are being lazy there. Even people with worse diseases or viruses can get up and out of bed and why can't you? Dont be so lazy I know illness zaps energy out of you as your white blood cells go repair yourself as best they can. This is me being a lil harsh but also a hypocrite here tbh. If I have the flu I will be in bed but only when I need sleep. Sleep and warm stuff and water is good.

Good V Bad Food - I have said it before but it always bugs me how junk food costs less than healthy food soo wrong. I bet you could convince or hypnotize someone to make them think healthy food is bad for us and junk food is good for us so then our psychology will be to eat the healthy food because well we got tricked in thinking its bad.

The I am not gonna tell you what's wrong but please give me your attention people - what a mouthful and those people be it on social media or in person are royal knobs. "Im sad" oh whats wrong? "Nothing nevermind" something's clearly wrong so either say you dont want to talk about it or tell me. "Ah no its fine im just sad" but why are you sad? "Ah nothing no reason" well fuck off and be sad then I wanted to help but if your gonna continue tip toeing around you may aswell tip toe and go fuck yourself.

I appear vulgar in my blogs but honestly I'm nice quiet shy in person just I cant help but to get all the shit that's annoying me out of my head and splattered onto a white canvas of which I type on.

My first permissioned night off - So i had a 15 hour shift planned today so i went in things were going same old boring usual shit then 7pm i get a call saying that my company made a mistake and wants to send a different gaurd at the site i was on and i was like "well ok sure i will take the night off thanks" and they were like "ok great" now this is beyond weird but i bet there is a catch or some bad shit from them will be hitting me soon but who knows. Site i was on is just a 15 min drive away from my house the gaurd who turned up to replace me lived 10mins away and you know so neither of us are living that far from the site so i was all happy and dancing and yellin about just like "yes yes yes i get the night off wooo" and the gaurd who showed up was a bit pissed off as he was on a different site and the company messed up and sent him there when there was a gaurd there so then they had nothing for him and said to him to come to my site as i am leaving. Soon as he showed up he said said to me all sarky like "Oh so your getting a night off then huh boy oh nice for you" i was like "well yeah sorry its what our control told me really and if he really wanted a night off he should have told them tbh. My company though jesus christ do they love to fuck up! haha!

Reason's i tend to hate house parties - Well here we go. Now on the record i have been to some good house parties but the majority of them have been total wank because of one thing DRAMA! Yes and no i do not mean in terms of acting serious well in ways i do mean that but just let me explain it all out as i can not find any proper words in my mind to describe it all proper. 1) Girls bitching - Yep always happens the girls there always tend to go out on a limb and bitch about some one at the party. 2) The spoilt brat host - Normally hosts are like cool laid back and sometimes just like a door security gaurd watching out and making sure not much mess is made if all at all haha Besides that there was a party i went to once and the kid's (he is not a kid but for now he fucking well is especially after the way he acted at that one house party he had) perants came home early and were like all friendly and such and he the host of the house party was a lot like kevin from kevin and perry. "Ohhhh muuuum why are you and dad home soooooooooo earrrly!? YOUR RUINING THE PARTY! DO NOT TALK TO MY FRIENDSsSSS!!!"So yeah drama kicked off and caused awkwardness is the long story short and i then left half hour later haha. 3) Knife DRAMA! - So yes this actually happened. At one girls house party (F.Y.I. Her house parties if you can call them that are also insanely boring and shit. The environment and people she invites beside me and few others of course are all shit and dickheads!) girls were bitching (always happens as i said earlier lol) and the boys also were (sometimes happens depends on the people there) so bunch of boys were outside having a ciggy and two boys like the host of the party tbh and one found out the other sent her "cringy" valentines stuff earlier that year and he was making fun of it and so the two had a little tiff outside and the one boy shoved the other (i did not see it all so fuck saying the rest) so they went inside after the ciggy's and argued like hell and stuff and one boy was led to the kitchen which i was also there with the party host, boy 2 and two of his friends when boy 1 came in to the kitchen they both started even more on each other getting pretty aggressive and boy 2's friend who has some mental disabilities decided to pull a knife out on boy 1 because he felt threatened at that point i was stood there like "shit! this is insane. I do not think he will use it though" he did not use it either and he put the knife down and boy 1 was fuming at that point and boy 2 and his friends got kicked out by the party host. That point i was like fucking hell what the actual fuck is going on. IS THIS A HOUSE PARTY OR LONDON I AM AT!?  4) You always have shit music being played by youtube on a laptop or a xbox. NO! FUCK OFF! GET A CD STEREO PLAYER WITH SPEAKERS AND PUT SOME CDS ON. THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT! Hell even put on sky's music channels they are shit but fuck it,i have had better house parties with that shit on than a music video followed by an advert on youtube. 5) No drinks available from host's house - Now i find this shit especially when people leave it late and then say "oh bring own beer" its like the fuck? Are you not drinking then? DO YOU NOT HAVE ANYTHING THERE?! Fuck sake you could have told me a lot earlier than as soon as i turned up. Haha that is basically it to my knowledge. WHAT DO YOU HATE ABOUT HOUSE PARTIES!? UPDATE***** FOR THE RECORD I DO NOT HATE HOUSE PARTIES BUT THESE ARE JUST REASONS AND PAST EXPERIENCES WHICH MAKE ME HATE THEM BUT I WILL GO TO ANY IF INVITED SO YEAH HYPOCRITE OVA HERE!

My tenth blog of random ramblin's series shall be a special one again,just thought i would give you a lil heads up.  I think I will cover embarrassment/embarrassing mistakes tbh because I often think back remember my mistakes and embarrassing moments well and they make me cringe and annoyed so I think if I get some out of my head and onto this white canvas of which I type on I could perhaps laugh about them and get over them but who knows at least maybe I can give you the reader something to read and something we can all relate with and laugh at. Who knows for now I am going to hit the hay. Bye peeps :)