The Signs Are There

Many signs appeared whilst I was talking and falling madly in love with this amazing woman, my Elli. There's been posts online, there's been music playing and thoughts and dreams. She has had my heart for a while. It took me a long time to talk with her, and took me a short amount of time for me to fall in love with her. I was afraid and anxious to love again, to allow myself, but she made it so effortless and easy for me to fall, she was herself, she was caring, accepting, loving. She gave me comfort and peace with her arms and soul. There were times I was talking to her, and she'd do something or say something, and I'd feel my heart race and my brain melt, and I was just holding back my mouth from saying "I love you" and the first time I said it to her, I felt so flustered, and my head was like "Oh my god what did you say? Why did you let that come out, what if she doesn't feel the" and she replied with a cute red face "I love you too". I said I liked her, and she was like "Oh really, I couldn't tell" with that cute confident smirk on her face. It was a rush, it was so exhilarating, and it still is, and she still makes my heart race and mind melt by the things she says and does. She can look at me and just the whole world stops, and I get my breath taken away. I am really thankful and lucky and grateful for her. 

I always had a crush on her, she was always so lovely and smart and pretty. Getting to know her as a person better just opened up my eyes and increased the size of my heart because I love her and I want to share a life with her, that's why I've got to ask her out. I really want to be her man. She's the sprinkles to my doughnut.

I plan to ask her for valentine's unless some sort of perfect day happens and changes that for me. I miss her and can't wait to see her again in person and to hold her.

I was getting tired of trying of waiting on meeting someone and that I stopped looking. I was focused on myself, when we both appeared back into each other's lives. I have seen her in my workplace for the first time in years and I wanted to wrap my arms around her so much because she looked so troubled and upset, I didn't want to be awkward, and I was shy and that's why I didn't message or talk to her for years. I was shy and felt it to be awkward, or I'd be a bother. Little did I know that my overthinking mind was so wrong.....

I thought the "love" I had and had to give, and that mushy side was all dead and gone, I thought I had ripped it out and buried it and left it for dead because of my past hurt and trauma and to overcome it, I felt it was best to remove it and just focus on myself. The focus on myself has helped me become better and stronger, but this amazing woman has brought my lovey side back from the dead. We are genuine and beautiful souls, and we attracted one another. Soon was replaced by finally when we met in my workplace and when we snuck around. I can't wait for finally to be here again where we are free and open to do what we want and when we want.

We were far away from each other on my birthday, but we still made every effort to message. I always aim to spend my life with people who make me feel seen, heard, cared about and loved, and she makes me feel all that and more. She's done more in a month than anyone else has in my past. I stay patient and try my best to, despite how much I miss her and want to see her and need to see her all free and happy and just here with me.

I was strong in 2023, the strength opened my eyes. I'm coming back and getting my happiness this year, and I'm getting everything else I've wanted and more. 2020-2022 changed and broke me and left me scarred, afraid, sad and left me for dead. I'm so happy to have found myself and an amazing lady I can't wait to date and go on epic adventures with.

I just want to look after her, hold her, and give her everything she deserves and more and treat her like the best woman to ever exist and how I think she deserves to be treated and that's because, I love her, and she deserves the best and I always give the best and always plan to. I want to help her with anything and through anything. Furthermore, I want to grow with her and grow together and build a life we are happy and proud of. We both give each other a lot of time, effort, care, trust and love, and we make a great team and are determined to be each other's last in life and to have the bestest life together.