Bluey & The Miscarriage And Infertility Episodes

So this post is going to cover two things about two important issues that are not widely discussed enough. Miscarriage and Infertility. How does a show aimed at kids deal with these topics? 

I'll tell you today and the reasons why they were brought up.

Brandy & Infertility

In the episode of Bluey titled "Onsies" Auntie Brandy, (Bluey's Auntie) visits for the first time in years. Chili's sister Brandy wants kids but unfortunately is unable to, that's why she stayed away from the family and her sister for years. It's difficult and traumatic and anxiety inducing for her to deal and think of kids, her inner turmoil and fall into depression kept Brandy away for so long, and she gives herself a prep talk just to see her family. Brandy and Chilli have a close bond despite her not visiting for 4 years. Brandy has Bluey and Bingo Onesies, and they don't fit either kid very well and Bluey asks her mum Chili to make it fit and Chili answers with a quick "it's not meant to be kiddo" which foreshadowed a lesson later in the episode. There's a few times Brandy tries to have a heart-to-heart with her sister, but the kids interrupt it because Bingo becomes more animalistic when she wears a onesie, which is pretty funny. It's possible the sisters bonded more so over the fact Chili had a miscarriage before Bluey was born also, but I'll touch on that in a bit. So the aforementioned foreshadow moment goes with Chili talking to Bluey saying "you know how you want bingos cheetah onesie, but it doesn't fit you, so you can't have it. There's something Auntie Brandy wants more than anything, but she can't have it and no one can do anything about it. She can't have the thing she wants because it's not meant to be." Brandy and Chili have a heart-to-heart and Chili makes sure she's not alone and cares about her and her well-being and isn't mad about not seeing her in 4 years and Brandy confirms it won't be so long til she sees them again and the two dance like they did as kids to make chilli's kids laugh and smile again.

Chilli & Miscarriage

In the episode "The Show" it takes place on Mother’s Day. Bingo, Bluey and Bandit bring Chilli breakfast in bed, but Bingo trips and spills the tray. Bingo runs from the room crying, and Chilli encourages her to have a little cry, pick herself up, dust herself off and carry on. “The show must go on,” Chilli says. Then Bluey has the idea to put on a play about how Bandit and Chilli met. The key moment in the episode happens when Bingo, playing Chilli, has a balloon under her shirt to represent Chilli’s pregnancy with Bluey. The girls get carried away horsing around, and the balloon pops.

Many parents instantly became obsessed with this moment, because the view turns from showing the balloon popping, to Bandit grabbing Chilli’s hand as her smile fades. We have confirmation from “Bluey” creator and writer Joe Brumm himself, thanks to the new book “Hard to Bear: Investigating the Science and Silence of Miscarriage,” by Isabelle Oderberg. There’s so little representation of miscarriage in pop culture, nonetheless in children’s programming. My realization upon knowing this was shock but also a feeling of pride because this topic which affects me, being a father of miscarriage'd babies, hit me. This topic isn't widely discussed, and the care for those affected isn't much at all. So it's nice to see and hear this issue being raised and talked about since it's deemed to be such a common issue.

There is something truly special about “Bluey.” It’s a show that manages to transcend generations while actually having a heart and this is why and these episodes I mentioned are why I started watching this show and taking notice of it in the first place. I started recently to watch the show from it's beginning as it's soft and calming and sort of reassuring for me at the moment as my girlfriend is away for work, and it reminds me of her and her soft loving caring nature and Bandit is the dad I aspire to become. Thanks for reading and for visiting my blog, stay shiny and follow for more!

A Year Has Come To Pass

So it's story time.

It has been a year since my life went flipped turned upside down. Time to look back on everything April 13, 2022 to now.....

13/04/22

My girlfriend left me. Turns out she was seeing someone else, a guy I never liked who I also worked with. She claimed to hate him too, but it's obvious lies. Anyway after the split we agreed to keep in touch and be friends. Honestly, I was so hurt and upset. I was angry too. I wanted to hurt myself or worse, kill myself.

I had so much racing through my head, I immediately called Jared, and we met up I went to his. Hugged his mum and hugged Jared and went home played some games to try and just get some sort of calm to my feelings. All the while I was messaging and chatting to those people who were there for me. My family, Annika (Zin),Layla, Lewis G, Jared, James.

A few days after the break-up I went to Birmingham with my best bro James to see Ghost who are one of my fave bands and also Impera is 2022's best album.

I had unhelpful advice and messages from people also. The bad shit I was told was "go get another girl, have a rebound.", "best way over a relationship is getting with someone else", "oh she was your first it's ok don't worry these things happen.". She was not my first, she was my first adult relationship though. No I'm not a rebound or sleep around guy. This just added to my anger because boy did I feel so much anger.

A few days passed, and I messaged her about getting my things back and was left on read. She seen my message and did not reply.

In that time, I played hooky with my previous employer for a week following the break-up and I went on holiday and I handed in my notice of immediate departure soon as I returned. It was the same day as my departure that I returned my ex's things to her home and seen her dad one last time, whilst I was still left on seen message wise and had not had my things back. A month later I had a bag of my things dropped on my door step and on that same day I went to meet up with some friends and I drove past her as she was sat in her car on the end of my street, I made it look like I had not noticed her of course and went about my day.

I was eating and drinking a lot, especially drinking, I was taking a lot of tabs even with alcohol, I was a mess. It was a lot of emotions and to try and deal with, and I had to hear my inner voice and intrusive thoughts just speak so little of me and tell me I'm the bad guy. I was evil. I was to blame for all the rot and for the disintegration of my relationship of 4 years. She blocked me and during this time and processing of things you know, I'd look up her profile and check to see what she was doing and who she was seeing, and I had sneaky suspicion as to who it was, and I have seen and confirmed it, and it made me angry, I did nothing about it other than blocking the guy. I have seen people who I thought I was friends with and liked me turn on me and support them on their relationship and I seen people I thought of as friends posting "congrats, you never looked so happy", "I'm so happy for you", "you deserve each other." The same people that said the same thing to me when I was with my ex. Instead of hanging out with me and meeting up when we had free time in our schedules they would be supporting them. My enemies. That pissed me off, and it made me weed out the poison in my head's garden, and so I removed those people and added them to my hate filled anger that scathed and burnt away at me and coursed through my veins.

I went unemployed for several months. I landed a new job in a beautiful care home, but I could not stick it out because I was not well and in the right headspace for it, so I left it after a month.

There were some things I also felt I had to come to terms with and bury. I have had a lot of resent and regrets of course and I can't do anything about it. I buried my connection to being a father. Me and the ex had 2 miscarriages. So those feelings, the mindset of being a dad and the mentality I carried along with the memories I have put away, I have buried them in a box in order to cope and to move on with my life. I was a dad. I was a lot of things with my ex and through it all, I ensured I was a good man and a good father. Maybe in future relationships a lot of who I am will not come back up on display for my next partner because of the hurt and suffering I have endured during the 4-year relationship I had previously. I do still want to be an actual father to a physical child though. I've had times where I have not and right now I feel like it is something I want because I have kinda always wanted it, it's like a dream. People tend to dream about these fancy moments or dream jobs and I have always dreamt of having my own wife and kids, and so I want that to happen. I want a good woman. I want a son and a daughter. Furthermore, I am human, and these things make me human.

So to continue back to the events of last year, I dug deep into my savings almost spending every thing I had to just survive until I had a new full time job. I went 4 months without a job. My anger was still there, frustration mixed with it over being unsuccessful with employment and opportunities. My sadness was also there.

I found a new job, one I'm still with to this day and although my first month there was tough and gruelling I did enjoy it as opposed to former employers. Funny thing is, it's opposite my old employers haha and yes I did see my ex 2 times in all the time since then to now. Anyway, my first month on my new job, I injured my back lifting heavy objects, so I had some time off and came back and been OK since.

I have seen Rammstein in Cardiff and it was an insane gig! Also attended WWEs Cardiff Ppv clash at the castle.

You know something silly, I have been anxious a lot about going to the local cinema as myself and the ex worked there. I was anxious because I didn't want to run into her or her now partner, because I feared on what I would do or say out of my emotions. I feared lashing out. Happily enough, I am strong-willed and minded because I kept my cool and did not show I cared when I saw certain people and I ignored some very existence. If you don't have the time of day for me, I don't have it for you either. You are with me or against me.

Since January 2023 I've been getting into a better lifestyle and up to now I have lost 3 and a half stone. It's hard work, but it's worthwhile, same as my job.

It's currently now April 13 2023, I am in a much better mental headspace than I have been in years right now. I don't drink much and last time I drank heavily was New Year's Eve 2022. I'm not financially secure, but I work hard as hell and I get a lot of love and praise for it. From my colleagues, to my bosses to even customers, and I'm proud and happy of it and all the love and appreciation I get for all I do. Of course, I wish I had more hours and money that's my goal to work my way back up in the bank. I also want to lose 5 stone, and I'm over half way there. In spare time I'm looking for work, gaming, writing, socialising with friends, making videos, blogging, watching films, attending shows and gigs, listening to music and working out in the gym. I've had my TikTok and YouTube blow up in views.

So, to summarise life is something else, I have been down many times, but I prevail, and I get back up. I don't think I'd ever gotten back up from last year if it wasn't for my special band of friends and family. Layla, Annika, James, Jared, Chlo, Kayl, Lewy G thank you all for doing your part and then some, I love and appreciate you all. Thank you for saving this man, and thank you for cheering me on when I was struggling to continue on. The world needs more people like you all, and I hope you are reading this. Know that if you have helped me that I thank you and I love you. I always will be in your debt and I always will be there for you all, no matter what.

Thank you to my work family and work friends they have also been so lovely, supportive and welcoming to me. Chlo, Bret, Tom, Brandon, Tracy, Sophie, Eva please know I love you all and I am grateful for you all. I don't even know if you will read this but thank you. 

Now saved the best for last, my dear reader. I want to thank you for following my story and this post and my blog in general. Thank you for any and all the support given to me. Please follow and support me on my social media's and chat with me anytime you wish.

I appreciate you!

Thank you!

Charity Awareness Post 2020!

Hi there, 

I would like to raise some awareness and post links to charities which I have donated to and I love their work so here it goes. 

Miscarriage Association

There's a word besides Lockdown and Covid 19, I have heard more of this year than any other and that is Miscarriage and there are so many stories of so many going through it and I can tell you now, it's not nice, and it's not easy, and it's got no full recovery from just like any loss you have to go through in life. - https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/about-us/the-charity/

Beluga Sanctuary

I LOVED watching John Bishop help save and relocate the two Beluga Whales on ITV earlier this year, Little Grey and Little White are so beautiful and cute and amazing, and I just want the best for them, and I am still following their story and if you want to help or know more go to the link - https://belugasanctuary.sealifetrust.org/en/

Dementia UK

Dementia is a horrible disease, I donated to them earlier this year when I lost my nan as I felt such a strong urge to donate to many charities actually, it's horrible to lose anyone and to know we have organizations and people out there looking for cures is amazing, but they need our help and donations to continue, so I mention them and link them here for this reason - https://www.dementiauk.org/

Marie Curie

Is a charity whom's services have helped my family a lot in the care and attention of my Dementia stricken Nana and the care of her in her last years of life so of course a massive shoutout and thanks to them and please give them anything you can or just learn more about their amazing work! - https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/

RNLI Lifeboats

Without the RNLI so many lives would be lost at sea every year, these brave volunteers are always on hand to help and save others and I support the Quay West crew and the service as a whole - https://rnli.org/what-we-do/lifeboats-and-stations/our-lifeboat-fleet

Sea Shephard

Are protectors of our oceans from illegal activities and they have done some amazing work - https://www.seashepherd.org.uk/

Raf Museum

I respect and love the RAF and their museum is amazing I shopped at their online shop to support them and I wanted to do this in memory of my late Grandfather who worked for RAF so go support and grab something lovely here - https://www.rafmuseumshop.com/

There are indeed so many great and amazing charities out there but I only chose to list and name those who have meant a lot to me this year so please do check them out, tell them you got referred to from me and let's just be excellent to each other and hope 2021 is a great year. 

Remembering Jay & Bub Jones

This post is dedicated to my children who I lost due to miscarriage. It's hard to talk about and to have gone through and I miss them dearly as do their mother.

We lost Baby Jay in January 2020.

Our Expected Bump
4:25am 6/1/20
You're so little and you won't be able to hear this yet, 

You won't be able to read or understand any of this either,

But you are so loved, you are so little, so smart, so amazing,

You are being brought up into a big, scary, cold, world,

It's an exciting time to be alive none the less,

You will have two incredible people in your life that are and will be doing everything for you,

You may grow to hate, you will grow to love, listen well and listen close,

We're going to have so much fun, you will be so supported and cared about,

Much more than me and you're mother ever were, we are always here,

We love you little one, we love you squishy, we love you bumpy,

As much as you are expected, you also expect us,

We love you bump, we'll do all that's in our power,

Warmth, Food, Drink, Clothes and a roof await you,
you will be protected against the odds and scary,

Be safe, be careful, shine like a star that you are, love hard, be stronger, be healthy,

Laugh like hell and give the world a heaven and give the bad a hell.

We love you and can't wait to see you

Love DAD & MAM!

Due Date Bump
17th August 2020
We knew you oh so briefly,
We love you so very deeply,
We carry you with us forever,
We adore you for all of life,
We will remember and love you for the rest of our lives,
Every second we carried you was breathtaking,
Mammy was jittery, Daddy was ball of excitement,
The sun shines for you today,
The rain pours for us as we miss your due time,
Rainbows will light the dark cloud we are under,
You will guide us and help us to the right way,
You will always be here,
And so will we,
Baby Jones,
We love you, We see you, We remember you, We love you

Today Is Your Day

Today is the day you should have showed your face to the world,
Today is the day where your first cry would have been heard,
Today is the day where it would have marked the start of many days for years to come,
Today is the day, i would have held you close and called your name, little one,
Today is the day where mam would have been in pain and tears but happy to welcome you to the world,
Today is the day you would have taken your first breaths and ate your first meal,
Today should have been the day we take you home in our arms,
Today is the day in which we mourn your departure,
Today is the day we honour your memory and think of you more than ever,
Today is the day we send our love, give our thanks, and pray to you,
Today is the day where it's raining but there's a rainbow too,
Today is the day where the rainbow is shining, sparkling, bright just like you,
Today is the day we look up towards the stars and see a bright spark marking where you are,
Today would have been yours to hold, Today should have been ours,
Today is your day. 

https://visufund.com/miscarriage-association-lights-of-love-tree/?o=B97

We also lost another baby in September 2021 

(during this time I had covid so my gf had to go through it on her own as I had to isolate for 14 days), 

We called them Bub and they would have been born 20/4/22. 

This post is for them.