Things That I Do - Original song lyrics by SJones

[Verse 1]

Boots sink deep in the frozen ground

Mud on our faces

Smoke all around

You pass me bread with a shaking hand

Say

"Son, Hold tight to whatever you can"

[Chorus]

We fight the dark with borrowed light

Side by side in the broken night

If this is where our last stand lands

I’ll meet my fate with your name in my hands

Father and son in a stolen time

Two shadows stuck on the same thin line

If I fall first

If you fall too

I’ll carry you home in the things that I do

[Verse 2]

Shells write fire on a paper sky

You shout my name as the dirt flies high

We dive together in the shattered rain

Your shoulder pressed to my ribs like a chain

You say

"If I go, Boy, Don’t stand still, Walk out of this with your stubborn will"

I see the fear that you try to hide

Same brown eyes as mine

Just a little more tired

[Chorus]

We fight the dark with borrowed light

Side by side in the broken night

If this is where our last stand lands

I’ll meet my fate with your name in my hands

Father and son in a stolen time

Two shadows stuck on the same thin line

If I fall first

If you fall too

I’ll carry you home in the things that I do

[Bridge]

Morning creeps in through the wire and bones

Rats and letters and dents in our souls

You show me a picture

Creased and worn

A baby boy in your arms by the door

"That was you" 

you laugh through the cold

"All the reason I ever had to grow old"

Now we’re here

Same coat

Same name

Praying this mud forgets our faces and our age

[Chorus]

We fight the dark with borrowed light

Side by side in the broken night

If this is where our last stand lands

I’ll meet my fate with your name in my hands

Father and son in a stolen time

Two shadows stuck on the same thin line

If I walk out and you’re not through

I’ll carry you home in the things that I do

(yeah) I’ll carry you home in the things that I do

Is It Fate or Is It Destiny?! - Original poem/lyrics by Sjones.

We're two worlds apart, one joint connection,

Our hearts beat, longing to meet,
My shoelace was untied, you swept me off my feet,

You showed me the ropes, Taught me how to swing,

I know you are all alone, but you have not lost a thing,

I'm still around, I won't slow you down, take a chance on me,

And if you drop your crown, i'll pick it up from the ground,

No way am I going to slow down,

Is it fate we meet or is it destiny?!,

Have I always been the one you were destined to meet,
Is this just some crazy coincidence you ask of me,
Well the evidence is clear for all to see,
I need you now, can you still meet me,

Two worlds apart yet we are stuck together,
Invisible strings tied to eachother,
I'm caught up in a web of my feelings,
All I want is your touch to calm me,
Just to save me you gave your all for me,
Hearing you screaming, callin for me,
Is it my fault i made you fall for me,

Is it fate we meet or is it destiny?!

When I got paired with you, in class,

I didn't know those blue eyes would warm glass, 

I'll always wipe your tears and comfort you,

I'm sorry for getting stuck and making you feel blue, 

I will go through any obstacle, I'll make you see and believe in the impossible, 

Two worlds apart, years of distance,
We have the same qualities, even down to the similarities,

I would give you all of me, just to see you living happily,

Its not your fault i fell for you,
I need you now, can you come see me too,

Is it fate we meet or is it destiny?!

Did not know if i could love again,

I have been through many bitter ends,

Thought i'd have to be cold and bad,

But you walked in my life and made me fall like mad,

I hope you feel the same because i wanna bring you to your knees,

Two worlds apart, 10 miles out of range,

We are of a different age,

But life has guided me,

Through the twists and turns it brought you closely, 

Is it fate we meet or is it destiny?!

The Flash (CW song tribute)

(Verse 1)

In the blink of an eye, he moves so fast,

A hero born in lightning, a legacy that will last,

With lightning strikes and a scarlet streak,

The Flash emerges, his purpose to seek.

(Chorus)

Oh, the Flash, he's running through time,

Fighting crime, a hero so sublime,

With speed and power, he's a lightning bolt,

Defender of Central City, never to revolt.

(Verse 2)

Barry Allen, the man behind the mask,

A forensic scientist, his duty unsurpassed,

With a heart of gold, he fights for justice,

Against villains and meta-humans, he'll never miss.

(Chorus)

Oh, the Flash, he's running through time,

Fighting crime, a hero so sublime,

With speed and power, he's a lightning bolt,

Defender of Central City, never to revolt.

(Bridge)

Through the Speed Force, he harnesses his might,

Guided by love, courage, and the need to make things right,

With his team by his side, they face the unknown,

Protecting the innocent, a legacy to be shown.

(Verse 3)

In the darkest of nights, he brings the light,

Chasing shadows, his determination takes flight,

From the Reverse-Flash to Captain Cold,

The Flash battles on, his bravery untold.

(Chorus)

Oh, the Flash, he's running through time,

Fighting crime, a hero so sublime,

With speed and power, he's a lightning bolt,

Defender of Central City, never to revolt.

(Outro)

So let the lightning strike, and the thunder roar,

The Flash races on, forever to explore,

In the CW universe, his legend will endure,

The Flash, the fastest man alive, forever pure.

Run, Barry, Run!

Talking To A Brick Wall (original lyrics/poem) Sjones

(Verse 1)
In this world of silence, I stand alone,
Talking to a brick wall, no voice to be known.
Words fall like echoes, lost in the abyss,
Conversations held with a wall, dismissed.

(Chorus)
Oh, brick wall, won't you listen to me?
Can you hear the longing, the plea?
I pour my heart out, but you don't respond,
Talking to a brick wall, my spirit beyond.

(Verse 2)
Every word I whisper, every thought I share,
They vanish into nothingness, lost in thin air.
Emotions bouncing off your cold facade,
I wonder if you ever truly understand.

(Chorus)
Oh, brick wall, won't you listen to me?
Can you hear the longing, the plea?
I pour my heart out, but you don't respond,
Talking to a brick wall, my spirit beyond.

(Bridge)
But amidst this frustration, a realization dawns,
The brick wall may never respond with its songs.
Yet, in the depths of my heart, a change takes place,
I find solace in knowing, it's myself I embrace.

(Verse 3)
Though the wall may be silent, I won't be deterred,
I'll keep sharing my stories, my voice will be heard.
For even if the wall can't comprehend,
There's healing in expressing, a journey to mend.

(Chorus)
Oh, brick wall, won't you listen to me?
Can you hear the longing, the plea?
I pour my heart out, but you don't respond,
Talking to a brick wall, my spirit beyond.

(Outro)
So I'll keep talking, with hope in my eyes,
Even if the wall won't sympathize.
In this conversation, I find strength anew,
Talking to a brick wall, but my spirit breaks through.

Whats Wrong?

What do I have to do? No, what do I need to do? To get noticed to get seen, to make more money, to be more bling. I need more views, I need more subs, girl if you see my content say what's up? Follow me on all the socials you know I can make you swallow. I swallow my pride and cast my ego aside to take in more eyes, so I may gain the follow train. I've been up and down and all around, I've been heavy, and I've been weightless, you don't know how much I need this. I need change, I need to go, give me some dough and watch the viewers roll, see how they roll around on the floor, from laughter with tears streaming and the fools crying please give me more. Well I'll give you all I got, it's me I'm a god-damn comedian tree with the water source coming from my friends and family. You don't know how underrated my socials can be, so please come see and become one with peak. Like, follow and subscribe for more from the one who knows the score, he's the bfg, the 1MG it's scotty J at the scene, ready to take the W and make the community clean. So before you go, you should know, I have been grafting at life and entertainment for almost 30 years, and it's not easy, it's been tough but with your help and some luck, it will all be enough.

Gorgon Eyes - Original love song/poem by Sjones

You've got me shaking just by talking,
I am frozen like a statue from your gaze,
Those beautiful lips are moving, but I don't hear any words come from your mouth,
That laugh snaps me out of the hypnosis, and I am lost for words,
What do I say, what do I do?,

I can't read the room, but I want to read you,
I want to make you smile and get lost in your gaze,
Turn me into a statue with those Gorgon eyes, and I'll make you happy for the rest of our days,

Those luscious lips, them curvy hips,
I want to be drunk on you, I want to be consumed by you,
Your silky hair and pearly whites, nothing compares to the greenery in your eyes,
Is this what it's like to fall in love, because this is new, Is that my heart?,

I can't read the room, but I want to read you,
I want to make you laugh and get lost in your gaze,
Turn me into a statue with those Gorgon eyes, and I'll make you happy for the rest of our days,

I'm taking the plunge and asking you out,
I don't know why you laughed and agree'd because I nervously knocked my drink over you,
Maybe this is just a dream, and you are not real, Who'd want to be with someone like me?,
I'm a fool, I've made mistakes, and I've been alone for my heart has been torn,

I can't read the room, They are just staring and laughing at me,
I don't like the shakes any more, I've made a mistake, and it's time to leave,
My back was against you, but I felt a pull and there you were in front of my eyes,
I am lost in those Gorgon eyes and turned to stone,
Your lips have just touched mine and I could taste fine wine,
My body is melting as the dopamine is spiralling,
I'm being taken to Neverland.

I won't be you! - Original song/poem by Sjones

What are you doing, taking this crap,
I thought we were through with this?,
It's the same old story, with a different twist,
Stop being pushed around,
Push them back!,

I hear you, (yeah!),
I see you, (yeah!),
But I won't be you! (no!)
I hear you, I see you, I won't be you!

Stop resisting and let me take control,
I won't let them beat us down, (no!),
It's time now to set me free,
Wake up and face your destiny!,

For too long you have suppressed me,
In return, you have lashed out uncontrollably,
Your bodies bloodied and bruised,
Come on now and light this fuse!,

I hear you, (yeah!)
I see you, (yeah!)
But I won't be you!, (no!)

Stop resisting and let me take control,
I won't let them beat us down, (no!),
It's time now to set me free,
Wake up and face your destiny!,

What will happen when the voices stop,
Who will I become when I black out,

You hear me, you see me, and now you sleep, for now I'm here to make history!,

You've stopped resisting and I've taken control,
I'm giving out the beatings and breaking bones,
Now that I'm free you will rule this day,
I am awake and you are history!

Exorcise The Demon - Original song/poem/lyrics by SJONES

You can't put me in the ground,
Because my soul is unbound,
My freedom comes at the expense,

And the lives of the guilty are my tax, 

Running wild, wild and free,

All aboard this crazy train,

Come partake in the leaves of the wisdom tree,

You cannot see, You cannot be,

The devil inside of me,

Lost and alone, nowhere to go,

Oh, father please can you exorcise me?,

Sanity is overrated,

My demons are the goat headed,

Making my life a misery,

Just cut me open and set me free!,

You cannot see, you cannot be, 

The devil inside of me, 
Lost and alone, nowhere to go,

Oh, god please exorcise me,

 

(GROWL)

YOU CANNOT ESCAPE ME!

I AM THE SINS YOU CARRY!

MY CLAWS WILL SINK AND SHATTER,

YOUR BONES BENEATH ME,
MARK MY WORDS,

THE DEVIL IS YOU, AND YOU ARE ALL OF ME!!!!

(GROWL)

You cannot see, you cannot be, 

The devil inside of me,

Lost and alone, with nowhere to go,

Exorcise this demon out of me,

I Just Want To Heal (original poem/lyrics)

It's been a long time coming baby,

You tell me to "take your time, you're on your own, there's no excuses"

What about the promises you made here or there, were they for nothing,

You keep your attention onto things that don't involve us,

I poured my heart out, and you turned it into dust,

Now I'm alone thinking about all the times you abused me,

And my soul is left scorned with PTSD,

Now I have to Heal.....

Because I wanna feel,

I want to know if what we had was real,

Man, I just want to Heal,

I tore your letters up, And cried into a pillow,

I burned your cards, smashed your mugs, ripped apart your picture frame,

Hoping to be free, of the blame,

I was hoping to feel,

I want to move on and Heal....

To forget your voice and those times I sacrificed,

All the time I gave you,

I'm alone, and now I just want to Heal.....

Man, I just want to Heal,

I just want to feel,

I don't want to be alone,

There are monsters sitting upon the throne,

Making my mind their home,

Coz I'm alone,

Please help me to heal,

I hope you feel the sun, and it takes you back some,

To the times in our lives, where I made you smile,

I hope to god, that you regret this,

Because heaven knows, it won't be repeated,

Now it's over I hope you feel all the guilt that made this,

Hopefully you will know the problem isn't me, it's you

I'm all alone, sitting with my thoughts, I just want to Heal,

These voices seem so real,

Depression got me to kneel,

The monsters come alive,

When I brandish the knife,

I want to be alone, so let me cut along,

I just want to feel,

Please help me to heal,

It's been a while and I hope you know,

I always wanted to help you heal,

Even when you did not deserve the kindness,

I wanted to make you know,

You were never on your own,

I just wanted to make you feel,

My love for you was real,

Now I'm all alone,

Kneeling before my throne,

And I just want to heal.

Written By: Scott Jones

04:23am - 27/11/2022

Seeing Red - Original lyrics/Poem by Scott Jones

You've done it now, You've gone and ticked me off, Get ready for action, Prepare to be....future shocked,

Left alone and abandoned,

Resentment and anger rises up,

The rage builds to its crescendo,

I'm ready to run wild and unleash punishment unto you all,

Betrayed and lied to my face,

I see red,

I feel it pulling me in,

It's bright and hypnotizing me with its gaze,

The red is tangling me up, it's all consuming,

It binds me, IT'S BLINDING ME!

So unleash hell, bring the red,

Be prepared, to meet your end,

You'll soon be famous, because you'll be dead,

Executed at my feet, your head bare hands shall meet,

Red is binding, IT'S BLINDING!, BLINDING, BLINDING!

It's everywhere consuming all within,

I run wild, unleashing my rage,

I'll let the winds of wrath blow you away,

Face defeat,

See Red,

I thought I could escape the shade,

Escape into music, let the red fade,

I want to leave the bitterness and resent behind me,

Good memories placed up high, bad memories say goodbye,

I found fame with my music and I want to change the world,

I hear the clown's ad mist my followers, they think they know how crushing loneliness can be,

They know nothing till they have known me,

So unleash hell, bring the red,

Be prepared, to meet your end,

You'll soon be famous, because you'll be dead,

Executed at my feet, your head bare hands shall meet,

Red is binding, IT'S BLINDING!, BLINDING, BLINDING!

It's everywhere consuming all within,

I run wild, unleashing my rage,

I'll let the winds of wrath blow you away,

Red is binding, IT'S BLINDING, BLINDING, BLINDING!

Face defeat,

See Red,

I've lived in the Red for far too long,

The scarlet crimson, lights up the room,

The fever that pulls me down is brutal yet beautiful,

The aura is blazing, bright, all consuming,

My heart is held captive by the allure,

No matter how much it hurts, No matter how much I learn,

I know my anger is here to stay, the words come rushing my way,

So unleash hell, bring the red,

Be prepared, to meet your end,

You'll soon be famous, because you'll be dead,

Executed at my feet, your head bare hands shall meet,

Red is binding, IT'S BLINDING!, BLINDING, BLINDING!

It's everywhere consuming all within,

I run wild, unleashing my rage,

I'll let the winds of wrath blow you away,

Red is binding, IT'S BLINDING, BLINDING, BLINDING!

Face defeat,

See Red,

Feel the flames!!!!,

Though my anger exhausts me, and I'm falling apart,

My actions are costing me all because I refuse to move on,

Holding on to the past, If you'd only listen maybe you'll understand,

It's time for you to go to sleep, for this is the suffering you have made for me,

I will make you suffer just like me,

So unleash hell, bring the red,

Be prepared, to meet your end,

You'll soon be famous, because you'll be dead,

Executed at my feet, your head bare hands shall meet,

Red is binding, IT'S BLINDING!, BLINDING, BLINDING!

It's everywhere consuming all within,

I run wild, unleashing my rage,

I'll let the winds of wrath blow you away,

Red is binding, IT'S BLINDING, BLINDING, BLINDING!

Face defeat,

See Red,

Get burnt, by the flames,

Time to see Red!

Written by Scott Jones

6/11/22

4am

Nothing Will Save You From Light - Original song/poem/lyrics by Sjones

I feel the pressure to be better, to blend in with societal values, 

I turn the news on, there's so many people causing damage for their pleasure, 

It's so appalling, I'm gonna stop stalling, I pull my book out, 

You better look out because I'm not joking, 

I see their names flash, I put ink to the page, Now their death is calling, 

I see the light fade from their eyes, No one knows but I know, 

The world is off balance, it's not right so prepare to say night night, 

So save yourself, say a prayer, 

I hope it does you justice,

I'll write another name and count to ten,

Tonight's the night,

No one and nothing will save you from Light,

No one's gonna stop me, I will leave no trace,

Nothing to fear, I won't be erased,

No nothing and no one will save you from Light, 

You are so clueless, trying to find me, it's useless, 

There's no more excuses, I'm bringing justice, 

The world is thanking me, people whisper quietly "Kira is the answer",

Every single name I write, has made up their minds and chose their choices,

They Can't stop me, it's pretty pointless, There's nothing L can do, 

So save yourself, say a prayer, 

I hope it does you justice,

I'll write another name and count to ten,

Tonight's the night,

No one and nothing will save you from Light,

No one's gonna stop me, I will leave no trace,

Nothing to fear, I won't be erased,

No nothing and no one will save you from Light, 

So save yourself, say a prayer, 

I hope it does you justice,

I'll write another name and count to ten,

Tonight's the night,

No one and nothing will save you from Light,

No one's gonna stop me, I will leave no trace,

Nothing to fear, You don't know my face, I won't be erased,

No nothing and no one will save you from Light. 

Written 25/7/22

Inspired by Death Note and Light aka Kira. 

Corruption Holds The Crown - Original song/lyrics/poetry by Sjones.

My family rules the world, running it with a fist of fear,

They own powerful machines of steel, they lost the sight of what is real,

who's suffering, who's to blame, for this madness that I see,

For all the blood spilled and all the bodies piled up in front of our eyes?,

The people of Japan make their plea, Which makes everything clear to me,

If they could understand, the sadness that they breed,

I will make them see the error of their ways,

I will stand up to them and take down my family,

I will take it away, take it away one person at a time,

They say, they are all the same,

Well I'm not waiting, I'm not waiting to see,

Any more bodies, laying there, laying there, under their feet,

I'll take it away, I'll stop the corruption that holds the crown, (the corrupt holds the, the corrupt holds the crown),

I could tell you all about it, How I got this power,

But time moves on and I can't slow down,

I got to move all the pieces, I got to show those clowns,

I know their moves and all their habits, I'm four steps ahead, they're in over their heads,

If they could understand, the sadness that they breed,

I will make them see the error of their ways,

I will stand up to them and take down my family,

I will take it away, take it away one person at a time,

They say, they are all the same,

Well I'm not waiting, I'm not waiting to see,

Any more bodies, laying there, laying there, under their feet now, I'm not waiting,

I'll take it away, take it away, I'll stop the corruption that holds the crown, (the corrupt holds the, the corrupt holds the crown),

They all say, nothing's gonna slow them, gonna slow them down,

And I'm not waiting, I'm not waiting!,

They may try, to take the lives of innocents away,

There's no debating, the corrupt hold the crown,(the corrupt holds the, the corrupt holds the crown),

Inspired by Code Geass: Lelouch Of The Rebellion. 

Written 24/7/22

Let's Fly Away (original lyrics)

 She's just a dumb girl, living in a fantasy world, she doesn't know that, I know she's down bad and you can tap that, she'll leave you hanging like a bat, 

She thinks she's right, she's hella mean, only thing loving her is machine's, set phasers to stun and prepare to run, or better yet let's just fly away. Fly away. Let's just fly awaaaay oh yeah.

She think's that singer, is her sister, she's got no clue at all or how you view her, she's got no friends only family, she's lost in, the space inside, the walls of her miiiiiind

She thinks she's right, she thinks she's lean, only thing that gives her love is a machine, set phasers to stun, prepare to run and open up the run way, or better yet let's just fly away. Fly away. Let's just fly awaaaay oh yeah.

You know that one guy, from that anime, she likes him more than, a human being today, she can't tell the difference, between fantasy and reality, all we know for sure is she lives in her home made cave and she cheers hooray.

She thinks she's right, she obsessively cleans, only thing that gives her love is machine, set phasers to stun, prepare to run and open up the run way, or better yet let's just fly away. Fly away. Let's just fly awaaaay yeah yeah yeah

She think she's number 1 when you can do so much better than her, she thinks the world revolves around her, so stop, stop stop!

And let her be.

She thinks she's right, she thinks she's lean, only thing that gives her love is a machine, set phasers to stun, prepare to run and open up the run way, or better yet let's just fly away. Fly away. Let's just fly away,

I wanna fly away, let's just fly away, I wanna get away, let's just fly away. Yeah yeah yeah oh yeah!

*Speaking as music fades* (did you use protection? Yeah! Oh thank god we dodged that bullet ahaha)

(Kinda dance dance, 1989 and keep riding me songs were inspiration for how this flows.)

In my dreams (original poem,lyrics)

In my dreams, I see you sailing away, I'm holding onto hope that the pain will leave me someday, our love is a moment lost to time, heartbreak should be a crime, in my dreams we are sailing away, 

Listen to the echos of forgotten dreams, we had the world at the palm of our hands or so it seemed, we thought were the champions of all, just like Icarus our love flew too close to the sun and we started to fall,

I fell and broke into pieces, I couldn't arrange them and make them fit anymore, I didn't balance life well and I've lost who I am, blinded by pain sorrow and regrets, I drink now to forget,

Every time I fall asleep I see you there, laughing and smiling with your eyes gleaming, I lay awake at night staring at the ceiling, memories come streaming to my mind, I'm surprised my hearts still beating, 

How much longer will this take, the pain and the heartbreak, I ache and i ache, I have never experienced such pain, In my dreams i find you there.  

I'm A Demon Slayer (original poem, lyrics, homage)

I'm a Demon....Slayer,
I'll cut off your head,
Demon....Slayer,
I will bring you, your end,
Demon....Slayer,
I'll kill you dead,

North East, North East,
Your mission is there,
Demon's say a prayer,
Through the snow, I go,
I will stop your feast,

I'm a Demon....Slayer,
I'll cut off your head,
Demon....Slayer,
I will bring you, your end,
Demon....Slayer,
I'll kill you dead,

South, South West, South West,
There I go to my next quest,
With the forest ahead,
The air it's filled with dread,
Come face me demon, So I can cut off your head,

I'm a Demon....Slayer,
I'll cut off your head,
Demon....Slayer,
I will bring you, your end,
Demon....Slayer,
I'll kill you dead,

With my Nichirin blade,
My sword will be a different Shade,
As I breathe in with total concentration,
I exhale and swing my blade with frustration,
You will suffer for all you have done,

Blood demon art, your head shall depart,

I'm a Demon....Slayer,
I'll cut off your head,
Demon....Slayer,
I will bring you, your end,
Demon....Slayer,
I'll kill you dead,

Flower, Love, Flame, Sun, Sound, Mist,
Serpent, Thunder, Stone, Insect, Wind, Beast,
Water,
These are the way's, my breathing can kill you,

I'm a Demon....Slayer,
I'll cut off your head,
Demon....Slayer,
I will make you dead,
Demon....Slayer,
I'll bring about your end,

Hinokami Kagura, I'm a Hashira,
Set your heart ablaze, This is a lifestyle and not a phase,
Dead calm, Six fang,
I'll bring down Muzan and all the upper clan,
Thunderclap and flash!,

I'm a Demon....Slayer,
I'll cut off your head,
Demon....Slayer,
I will bring about your end,
Demon....Slayer,
I'll kill you dead,
Demon....Slayer,
Now, OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!

Mood Today (original poem, lyrics, story) by Sjones

I'm writing these words just to say,
About how I am doing and my mood today,
Quiet and fine,
Inside my mind,
It's not so silent,

Violent,
My anger and frustrations,
Surviving is a riot,
There's not many that know, all who go,
Chasing dreams over a colourful rainbow,

This too goes to show,
My mind is singing, while the exterior is quiet,
Everyone's asking, are you okay?, how are you today?,
I smile and sit in silence,

I'm okay or at least I say,
I'm not really sure what to say, of how I am really doing on this day,
Numbness and sadness underneath my clouds,
It hasn't rained in days, this sight's profound,

Take your time and focus on yourself,
They all say, little do they know,
That can't quite be,
Done,

I'm having fun,
Living my life distracting myself,
My emotions I cast aside and set up on a shelf,
As I'm living and breathing trying to forget someone else,

Memories are nice but bring pain,
Of a heart break that feels like yesterday,
It's been a while now and I still feel empty and drained,
Missing a part of me even though I am not in pieces,
Physically,

My body is exhausted
Mentally maimed,

I'm losing sleep, sleeping less on the daily,
My heart is locked away underwater in a locker titled,
Davey,
Which will give up first I often wonder,
Heart, soul or mind which will be the first to go under,

Life is something I always ponder,
What came before, what comes after,
Ok I say,

As I'm holding back laughter,

We've heard quite enough,
I feel like I'm dying, Is there any wonder,
Why?,
With all these words in my head,
I'm overflowing with all this existential dread.

Unable To Sleep, Broken Hearted, Dearly Departed. (Original poem)

I be tossing and turning, unable to sleep, My minds at a loss trying to count the sheep,
I can't move, i can't make a sound, Not even a bleep, All these overbearing things that are on my mind, how they creep.

Thoughts unwanted, head uneasy, am i keeping in too much, My inner voice it echo's such negativity, i want it to shush, I'm having breakout and breakout, skin can't take much more, If i open my mouth and let the unwanted out, will i be sore?.

I know i can't save the world, I know i am limited, I've got the biggest heart, I'm easy to be manipulated, My heart has been broken, torn and worn, These have been some of the best days of my life, I could have sworn.

Pandemic came and created much scare, I gazed into the existential void and await in much despair, 

My head is always sad, I always distract and avoid, I have a short fuse, people easily wind me up and I get so annoyed. 

I feel as if no one cares, no one is here, no one is there, Having lost family, cut off friends, I am signalling a flare, Before me now stands a door, i knock and ask who's there, Darkness and smoke surrounds the room, the bells toll but for whom?.

I have many unanswered questions and many missing scenes, A big part of me has left me to fend on my own, my soul it screams, What do i do, repeats over in my thoughts, was it all for naught?, What am i to do, what do i say, what about the future and the plans we made today. 

Will you befriend me, will you please keep in contact with me, we have a special connection you see, I will always love you and will never forget you or all our good times, this poem has many lines, I started writing this two years ago, late at night unable to neverland i go, Life is strange and this is sad, hope lives, It should always last. 

Sick of the stress, of the anger and diservice of employment, I deserve a better life, brim with enjoyment. The need to be fit is a long lasting goal, with more free time and a better stress-free work/life balance, I should be rolling in the dough. 

I want to raise a family and a home of my own, I want to be happy for the rest of my life, I am almost 30 now and I am scared more than ever of the unknown and of father time, I hope this is going well for you reading this as it's quite hard to rhyme,

I hope you read this and feel something, I wish the one who inspired and helped me for 4 years reads this and knows how special they will always be to me, Keep in touch and catch up sometime with me, I want to know if you will be safe and well, It's time to wrap this up now and to go to sleep. 

I wrote the first two paragraph's back 6/1/2020 @3:30am. Paragraph 3 onwards was written and completed on this date as of writing right now 14/4/22 @3:30am. 

Alone At Death's Door (original poem/short story)

A shot in the dark,
No light to be seen,
I bleed, oh how i bleed,
No weapons around,
Not a soul to be seen,
I crawl and i cry,
Alone,

There's no one,
My life is over and it was all for nothing,
In the end my errors,
Made me go down the wrong path,
And now i have no one,
Nothing to save me,

Alone at death's door,
I cry out for no more,
End the suffering,
Someone save me,
Please make this pain end,
Alone at death's door,

Who was there for me,
Who really cared,
When alone i dared,
I dared to be different,
I sacrificed everything for a dream,

Light fading from my eyes,
Blood seeping through my white shirt,
It drips and leaks,
Following me as i crawl to the light,

Alone at death's door,
I cry out for no more,
End my pain,
End my suffering,
Please lord save me,
I don't want to be alone at death's door,

A noise echo's in the dark, getting louder,
Louder still the noise gets as i see no longer,
Heart beat slowing down,
The noise is louder than ever,
I feel someone grip me,
Some one is talking,

They're talking to...me?,
What are they doing to me?,
They're, they're helping me?.
No they're saving me!,
But why?!,

Why i cry out ever so softly,
WHY i cry as my anger swells up inside me,
Why would anyone help me,
Why would i be worth the trouble,

I have always been alone,
I have thrown everything,
I have thrown everyone,
Away....

Even i....went away.

Alone at death's door,
A light shines bright to my vision,
That light which burns,
It travels left to right,
God this hurts,

Alone at death's door,
I cry,  And I feel the cold icicles fall down my face,
I feel the warmth in my chest go colder,
And colder still my heart beats,
But it gets slower,
My wound is tight now,

It hurts is this what it's like to be at death's door,
Is there more to life than this,
Is this where we all go,
Is this how its supposed to be,
Is this pain really true,
Was this the last time i got to see you,

Is this how i am to be remembered,
Alone at death's door,
Teary eyed and bathed in blood,
The fast paced world is slowing down now,
I can't see, The noise, the noises they're fading,

Alone at death's door,
I'm fading to black,
Don't let me live in obscurity,
Someone please remember me,
Be inspired by my good,
Forget my wrong doings,

Alone at death's door,
I see nothing,
I feel something holding my hand tight,
I'm going numb,
I hear silence.......

There's a shock!
There's another shock!
What gives?!

There's noise now but.........

It flat lines.......

What If?

What if?
A phrase could break me?

What if? 

A question could inspire me?

What if?

The answers aren't so simple?

What if?
I'm not good enough?

What if?

I did this or that?

What if?
I cant do it?

What if?

I could do it?

What if?

I could wonder further?

What if?

I slept a full 8 hours?

What if?

They did not pass away?

What if?
I did not take that step forward?

What if?
I die tomorrow?

What if?
This is it?

What if?

We were all free?

What if?

There was no fear?

What if?

I'm doing the best i can?

What if?

I truly am the best in the world?

What if? 

Goodbye is not forever?

What if?

History was different?

What if?

See you later is not to happen?

What if? 

You were here?

What if?

I said this or that?

What if?

What if?

What if?

Missing You Is Like Missing A Limb

In a world where lockdown runs wild,

And Quarantine reigns supreme,

We must not be lost, or apart, nor blind,

Where our fave musicians are all live on stream,

We can only blame that dreaded Covid-19,

We are forced apart, for safety,

For family, for the world,

All we have is our word,

I miss my lady, my baby,

Missing you is like missing a limb,

I awake expecting to see you next to me,

I wake thinking this is the day things won't be grim,

It's easy to escape this reality,

We have to dream, we will meet again,

Our world feels like a movie,

Surreal, uneasy, peaceful, eerie,

Some are trying to not to listen, taking all for free,

When they hear daily to stay home, we are living in history,

This has not happened before, it probably won't happen again in our lifetime,

It's okay to lose your cool and to whine, 

Missing you is like missing a limb,

Feels like you have always been here, 

I am lost now without you near,

It feels like i am missing skin,

You are always on my mind,

Sleep well, take care, be kind,

It's hard and we are all suffering,

We are in different ways handling,

Stress, anxiety, depression runs amok, 

So we have to stay home and read, lets pick a book,

Let's continue to reach out, to talk, to support and love from afar,

For the time will come one day soon where we will hold eachother and smile with tears,

For this lockdown and quarantine will not last for years,

Missing you is like missing a limb,

I move, i turn, i think, i hold, i don't feel the same,

I think of you more than ever, 24/7,

Hearing from you is like getting a little piece of heaven,

I'm sorry it's unpleasant, i'm sorry it's difficult,

The pain i feel, is so surreal, The world has me so bummed,

I can't wait for the day our hands to touch again,

May our souls shine bright, until then.