Late Night Ramblin's: Vol 11 - Reflecting On My Use Of Social Media

I started getting onto social media back in 2009. Facebook, Youtube, Bebo, MSN Messenger were the first of those sites. Later came Instagram, Facebook, Twitch, TikTok and maybe some others that I no longer remember haha.

When I joined Facebook for a few years, I was addicted and took it as a competition to how many friends you have and would add random people who had similar interests or who had good convos with online in the comments section and yes some of them I still talk to today. Others are long gone and dust in the wind, to many there was nothing evil behind the nature of why I stopped talking or removed them from my Facebook account. Over time, I grew to realize I should not be so open and trusting of strangers and also just keep to people who actually know me and I see or talk to often or who I actually like. Instagram had the same treatment when I joined that site, I'd let anyone follow me and grow my followers, I did have 300 followers, but then I realized not many were liking my stuff or seeing my posts and some become inactive accounts, so I had to clear a lot of that out. There has been one person I did not want to unfollow or remove as a friend, and she did nothing wrong, but in the pandemic I was in a bad mentality of believing no one liked me or cared about me, and I was not hearing off some people or seeing them, and so they were removed for that reason. No one also tells you how addicting it can be to get likes, but over time I have cared less about that whole thing. My social media now is just keep in touch with friends and family and keep highlights and photos for memories. I have been a fool as I have grown up with social media and yes absolutely posted cringe photos and posts and rants. 

When I joined Twitter aka X, It was literally to talk to celebs, wrestlers, bands because that website launched and everyone was saying how "All the celebs are really on there and use that" and It's always a rush when a famous face likes or retweets or replies to you in any way shape or form. I never expect it and screenshot and keep record of those moments because it is just an unexpected rush of happiness. I have been a dumbass on Twitter too and posted cringe and argued over silly and stupid things because I was a stupid teenager. These days I just use Twitter to talk to my friends I made there in America who only use Twitter.

YouTube, I cared about getting views but never had the funds to get better equipment and to get the better views and quality content from gaming. When I finally had a capture card system for my XBOX 360 it was something I could not set up and any help I had well no one could get it to work with my laptop and Xbox, it was weird and a shame it did not work out. Yes these days I do still do YOUTUBE, but I rarely post and the videos are just for my friends and for memory's sake at this point as I capture our dumb and funny moments gaming and any glitches haha. 

TikTok I joined in Pandemic as I was sick of friends sending me stuff and then had to click to try and watch on the app and download the app, and eventually I made one and made some TikToks that I thought be fun to do or chime in on and yeah I ain't posted on there in months. YouTube and TikTok have given me plenty of warnings and content removals, and that does dampen the fun and experience of those sites.

Twitch, I only use twitch to talk to friends and watch their stuff now and again, I don't make content there at all. Msn, Skype & Bebo I used early on in my social life and those sites have been dead for years. Just used to talk to friends on there and that was it. Discord is another I delete and got back a few times because of friends. I mainly use Discord to talk to one of my English friends there, as he hates social media and is not on any now. Snapchat I use every day, mostly talking to my pretty lady or my friends or old friends from work. Whatsapp, I only use for work, nothing else.

So yes, in closing, my use of social media has dwindled down over the years, and now they are treated as conversation points and highlight reels. It is crazy to look back at it all and think in the last 20 years of how much has changed, yes it's not quite 20 years yet, but it's close. Youtube was so good before Google took over. Facebook had games, and now it's trying to be its own cyberverse thing being dubbed Meta and of course Facebook owns more than just Facebook now.

Random Ramblin's - Part 13 - What's wrong with me? NEW ALBUM RATINGS

Hello lets ditch the alri shall I? Alri? Lol

Right oh so its been 2 weeks since I had my tat and people before it were like "nah he wont go through with it" yet I proves them wrong now these same people go "oh its stupid I dont get it why did you have that for?!" Its so god damn annoying. It's like going to McDonalds and being questioned for ordering what you'd like to eat and its so god damn annoying. I told everyone why I had it and what it stands for yet they don't stop ribbing me about it. Just stop I dont ask why you got that shitty tribal sleeve do I?!

New album ratings*****
Disturbed - Immortalized (deluxe) - 7/10
Ffdp - Got your six (deluxe) - 6/10
Two good albums by two of my fave bands I feel theres bits missing and there's some songs that dont stick and stand out unlike others but I like these new albums despite amazon not fulfilling their pre-order get it on same day dealio. Ah well. Check these two albums out!

Things are gonna be getting more serious now so yeah sorry. I like to be a comic as much as i can but sometimes even clowns cry.

So we are near the end of 2015 and to tell the truth this aint been a good year for me but it has had its good moments.  The worse bits or rather contributors to assisting how bad my year has been has been my employer. They have fucked me about and fucked me off soo much this year. I may make a one off blog post about it all but anyway I gotta move onto a downer. Past few months I have not been feeling like myself at all and I may have noted it before in a blog but i've got a book aswell I been writing in about it all a lot more and well the things that have been affecting me and that ive been experiencing I have been doing research on and well all signs point me to depression. I have been declining and questioning if its tiredness or depression but depression is the more clear answer. I'll summarise what ive been feeling now and stuff if you would like to provide help. Bad memory - cant remember driving to and from places,cant remember doing a check call when I have noted it and like unfocused. Eating more aka comfort eating. Not getting much sleep and taking longer to sleep.  Worrying over how much sleep I will get,the future and death. I'm unsure if I should call this next bit parranoia but like not wanting a call from work and just looking everywhere in work see if anyones there trying break into site and if my work shows up for a visit. Loss of confidence talking on phones.Not knowing how to make decisions so basically I want to quit my job but I dont want to aswell. Unwillingness to get out of bed when I wake up for work. Wishing I was sick to constantly get days off. Feeling of not being used and of my skills diminishing due to lack of opportunities to fully utilize them.contant tiredness yet not being able to sleep like I take too long to drift off and did I already say this I cant remember.  Feeling stuck restricted cut off from social time. God there's so much I bet I forgot a few. Things at the moment aint going too well. I dont think I should be driving or working like this in this mindset but I also dont want to stay with my employer.  To my friends and family yes I know ive been ok happy normaish and funny but know that behind that false mask I wear the inside has been covered in rain which needs to dry. I want to finish work but I guess im nervous of writting a resignation letter and of the fact I wont quit to go to a different job straight away. I know I'll get a job or do something productive but it'll take time and in that time I can build and expand skills. If I left work I wont be able to claim jsa for 6 months aswell. I dont want to go on dole again because thats as shit as my employer. I'm doing so much thinking its driving me mental.   I'm working on a site ive done before yet not done I  ages for the next few days. I dont want to work it. I know I know wtf you done It before few times whata different?  Its a site thats more busy and has more security its also up a mountain and I dont like driving up and down there. The road up that mountain is known for its accidents and deaths and temp traffic lights it a bad road. Fuck Im falling asleep here in work. Past 4 days i have felt much better as i have been working with others so you know thats great right? I still do forget some stuff and not be so alert driving but you know i have made improvements while work has continued to piss me off but i shall commentate on work in a blog post down the line.

Uhh i dont know what else to say but thanks for reading and stopping by as ever i thank a you and i shall see a you again.