Jealous & Frustrated

I'm envious of those with more money than myself at this time. I'm jealous of those living their best lives with homes and luxurious holidays. Jealous of those with good paying jobs. 😔

I work hard, the role is often a drain because how boring and tedious it can be but I seek and apply for new roles only to not hear back or be put on hold.😓

I've had a lovely holiday this month the first in 2 years with my gf and I spent quite a bit, to be expected of course. It was worth it and I'd do it again in a heartbeat ❤️

The lack of hours at my employment however is frustrating and no extra hours or options to go cover another location have become available. I gained a new qualification but I need to gain experience to earn a placement so the next time something comes up I will be applying. 🤞

For now I am jealous and comparing my life to others and I want more in this life. I shouldn't compare but my head isn't right, it's in a rut wishing for better because it's frustrated and jealous and maybe tired of not having what I should be having. 🥺

I'm so frustrated lately. I hunger for more money for more fruit of life. I want more hours with work. I want more money. I want to go abroad. I want to do more.

Do more with my favourite person, my Mrs and take her nice places and treat her to good meals. I want more so badly. It's driving me mad, it's irritating me, angering me, it's frustrating me.

Makes me sad and feel left out to not have income and not do something, anything. I have bills to pay. Family members I wish to pay back for their time and for still giving me a roof over my head and food and water and electricity. I want to do more, I want to be successful. I want to help others and get a sense of feeling accomplishment.

Getting cabin fever stuck at home, I'm itching to do more. What more can I do, I'm applying for other work. Done online course recently for SEN Teaching and Autism Awareness. I wanna do more heavy lifting in the gym, I wish I had my own machines and equipment at home.

This too shall pass but for now I am venting my frustration in the ever lasting lack of employment hours and lack of money and the rising costs of living.