Unable To Sleep, Broken Hearted, Dearly Departed. (Original poem)

I be tossing and turning, unable to sleep, My minds at a loss trying to count the sheep,
I can't move, i can't make a sound, Not even a bleep, All these overbearing things that are on my mind, how they creep.

Thoughts unwanted, head uneasy, am i keeping in too much, My inner voice it echo's such negativity, i want it to shush, I'm having breakout and breakout, skin can't take much more, If i open my mouth and let the unwanted out, will i be sore?.

I know i can't save the world, I know i am limited, I've got the biggest heart, I'm easy to be manipulated, My heart has been broken, torn and worn, These have been some of the best days of my life, I could have sworn.

Pandemic came and created much scare, I gazed into the existential void and await in much despair, 

My head is always sad, I always distract and avoid, I have a short fuse, people easily wind me up and I get so annoyed. 

I feel as if no one cares, no one is here, no one is there, Having lost family, cut off friends, I am signalling a flare, Before me now stands a door, i knock and ask who's there, Darkness and smoke surrounds the room, the bells toll but for whom?.

I have many unanswered questions and many missing scenes, A big part of me has left me to fend on my own, my soul it screams, What do i do, repeats over in my thoughts, was it all for naught?, What am i to do, what do i say, what about the future and the plans we made today. 

Will you befriend me, will you please keep in contact with me, we have a special connection you see, I will always love you and will never forget you or all our good times, this poem has many lines, I started writing this two years ago, late at night unable to neverland i go, Life is strange and this is sad, hope lives, It should always last. 

Sick of the stress, of the anger and diservice of employment, I deserve a better life, brim with enjoyment. The need to be fit is a long lasting goal, with more free time and a better stress-free work/life balance, I should be rolling in the dough. 

I want to raise a family and a home of my own, I want to be happy for the rest of my life, I am almost 30 now and I am scared more than ever of the unknown and of father time, I hope this is going well for you reading this as it's quite hard to rhyme,

I hope you read this and feel something, I wish the one who inspired and helped me for 4 years reads this and knows how special they will always be to me, Keep in touch and catch up sometime with me, I want to know if you will be safe and well, It's time to wrap this up now and to go to sleep. 

I wrote the first two paragraph's back 6/1/2020 @3:30am. Paragraph 3 onwards was written and completed on this date as of writing right now 14/4/22 @3:30am.