So today i decided to finally check out the most anticipated pokemon movie in ages and one which has a lot of press good and bad lately for some things about it like a certain pokemon talking english perfectly fine. So i caved in and let's see how it is, as i will be watching the film and writing about it as i watch, so beware!
***WARNING THIS CONTAINS FOUL LANGUAGE AND MAJOR SPOILERS!***
May also contain some brash humor and grammatical errors!
Hello Mr. Narrator what do you have in store for me then?
Wow nice animation and musical score.
Ash's mother has Misty's voice....What in the world has happened to Ash and Oak's voices....i hate this change!
So this is a prequel to all of pokemon? Weird!
New cover of the original series theme song.....yeah i mean it is a classic theme but not a fan of the cover.
More Ash speaks more im confused what gender he/she is? I don't know, im confused, feminine voice yet male like body....is Pokemon not telling us something?
Of course Pokemon animated series continues the traditions of "Pikachu can beat all!" i yawn every single time at this.
OH GOD THEY CHANGED JESSE AND JAMES VOICES TOO!? NO NO NO!
Joy i think has a different voice and does Meowth have a new voice too!?
Wait so now Ho-Oh and Entei are in this!? BUT this is supposed to be before all of pokemon but now we are in Pokemon 3 territory!? Lucario is even here and he was around a few gens later was he not?! I AM CONFUSED!
As you can tell i am not the biggest pokemon fan, I PREFER DIGIMON!
Lucario is of course the Goku of Pokemon but also fun fact Sean Schemmel Voice of Goku did voice Lucario once too!
Who are these new people? When do i get their names?
Some nice new cgi animation.
Of course the way to stop a raging giant rock pokemon is to stand in its way and say sorry. Urgh.
A charmander stuck outside looking sad in the rain.....yet it's flame is still lit and not moving and oh wow it got kicked by some guy, ANIMAL CRUELTY GET ME PETA AT ONCE!
Some douchebag and his emo wolf pokemon is the new Gary i guess. EMO WOLF WATCHES!
Ash keeps saying he is or will be catching all the pokemon and be a pokemon master yet after all these years he has not achieved it, is it lazy or is it the fact that its too much work for a person to do since we get loads of new pokemon every year!
How does pokemon even work!? Are the pokemon man made energy things or what because they get pulled into a storage space inside pc's and tiny balls and now they are free being dancers and getting treated by being fed and wrapped in blankets, surely if they are energy they do not have to feel sick or anything like it but oh who the hell cares, look at me, blabbing about shit while the movie is playing and they say i have a short attention span, nothing really interesting is going on at the moment anyway besides the pokemon now deciding to not go into pokeballs. Weird.
Oh some reason Entai has entered the cave Ash and co are in leading a bunch of pokemon, is this the Poke-Resistance?!
Oh a history lesson about how Ho-Oh made Entei or Entai what ever his name is.
Suicune was boss.
A rainbow hero and rainbow wing and rainbow what a thing? I dont even know i'm here like "seriously?"
Spooky ghost be creeping on ash, away spooky being.
Entei and co are gone and i bet they pinched the rainbow feather...
Charmanders flame is good now and Charmander still sad about Douchebag discount emo Gary.
Oh son bitch we have a Rainbow and oh the feather is still there and now its glowing and more legends and THERE'S THE GHOST!
I am 35 mins in of this one and half hour movie.
Jesus christ Ash has spare clothes! Seriously he is not all in his typical gear.
Now we have cut forward and Ash has more pokemon and knows more moves and now a evolving pokemon for Ash.
Hahaha that robotic metapod sound though!
i think this new girl has a crush on ash that or she likes storing pics of him on her phone.
Oh look who showed up Suicine and wait its name is Swe-coon?! I SWEAR ASH SAID THAT!
MORE ARE SAYING SWE-COON!? WAT!?
More family issues in an animated movie.....nothing new. How about breaking the mold pokemon?! It's something you have not done since the seizure episode....ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Some random battle again and a evolve.
CHARMELEON's Voice made me laugh!
Pokemon please explain why every poke center has a nurse Joy i mean is she cloned or has like a billion twins if so her poor mother.
A heart of evil?! Never heard of it.
Emo wolf is watching....always.
Pikachu is about to get squished by Snorlax.....OH WHAT BULLSHIT! IF THIS HAPPENED IN MY GAME PIKACHU WOULD HAVE DIED AND HIT ITS SELF IN CONFUSION!
Douche Discount Gary wait he has a name and it's Cross? Sounds so lameeeeeeeeeeee.
Fire Tiger! So we have pokemon from the latest gen here now. WHERE DOES THIS MOVIE FIT INTO THE TIMELINE!?
Ok one shot flames from its mouth and the other from it's belt?! Okaaaaaaaaay.
Charmeleon got rekt.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Douche Bag Cross just burnt Ash a new one seriously how is Ash gonna comeback from that!
I hate these cuts.
Ash hating himself after a loss and spooky ghost still after him!? What in the pokemon? I dont even know whats happening is he being controlled?!
Are we now seeing a world without pokemon or something i dont know ash is running buildings are falling and the world is missing its colour.
Well that did not last long.
Now the new characters are getting some development but i still don't know their names!
Luxray found a kid in the cold and instead of drag the kid to safety and to warmer environment the Luxray just well caves in? Oh come on thats just silly.
PIKACHU HAS SEEN A GHOST!
Primeape is throwing the gang up in the air weirdly and they were told metapod can save the day, in the games metapod can't do sheet but protect and evolve.
Oh well that was fast.
Cheap face palm eye rolling moments with Cheap Team Rocket.....
That Lapras cry was weird.........
God this film has a lot of filler.....
Oh of course a pink Butterfree means its a girl well thats very 2017 of you to do Pokemon, you know boys can like pink colours and dress in pink tooo! Stereotyping biddies.
Ok so basically that new guy said Butterfree's are about to have a hell of an orgy.....and i called pokemon childish how funny.
Ash dont be a douche just let your butterfree fly freely. Good boy Ash i like that you listened to me.
Now everyone is crying over a Butterfree leaving for only being with them for 5 mins are you kidding me.
I yawn not because i am bored but i am tired.
"Pokemon lead their own lives" ah yes of course they do, you wont understand how many times i seen my Pikachu stumble out of a bar in Pallet town.
Raiku just appeared and left....weird.
Now Grampa Ash has showed up.
EMO WOLF ALWAYS WATCHES!
So many more rainbow things.....why....why all the rainbows? I bet that douchebag will show up now to interrupt this rainbow madness....
SURPRISE ITS DOUCHE BAG DISCOUNT GARY I MEAN CROSS!
Cross calls everyone Trash.....i actually think he might be someone i know....someone i see when i look in the mirror.....
A level 2 pokemon can compete same level as a level 3 pokemon, give me a break.
CHARIZARD BITCHESSSSSSSSS!
Now Charizard is one of the most OP Pokemon ever created i think in third place as first is Pikachu and second is MewTwo. That's just my list for ya.
Incinaroar, incina-no more....he he.....i thought it was funny......in my head....
Cross gives up and does not even use his Emo Wolf so what's the point in having him!?
Ash battles to make friends, Ash should know you don't make friends with salad...
Cross, crosses Ash and calls Ho-Oh a Ho.
World is going dark and evil.
Ghost pokemon decides to show in person to hit Cross and now Emo wolf is fighting and now he turns on Cross.
Now all Pokemons are evil.
Ash i am sure all your pokemon know more than one move....ffs
Cross might have poke-rabbies.
Marshadow went super poke saiyan?!
Pika got knocked the fuck out maaaaaaaan!
Now Ash has to fight all the pokemon!
Aint no way Ash is gonna survive this and oh sheet son he turned his hat around!
He oh! Oh.......oh..........
PIKA MOTHER FUCKING CHU IS FUCKING TALKING ENGLISH PERFECT ENGLISH WHAT THE FUCK! NO OH GOD PLEASE NO R.I.P. Pokemon! THIS IS THE END HONESTLY!
I think they both dead.....where are their bodies!?
Nah they cant be dead no way, if they are wow but come on its pokemon they wont let this shit happen for no longer than a few mins.
OH SHEET THATS THE BIGGEST BOLT OF LIGHTNING EVER! Please dont tell me that revived Ash because his body is not here and Pikachu is crying and what!?
HUH!? Well i told you so.....
Well i guess, all's well that ends...well?
Oh here comes the Ho!
URGHHHHHHHHHHHHH TEAM ROCKET.......Team Facepalm more like...
A poke battle against the legendary happens and wait really you wont show the battle? Lame!
Ash tells Joy he battled Ho-Oh and she replies like i would "That's nice....." i think she might be wife material lads!
This is the last time we see these new characters as well as the first time then....how lame. Ash can't seem to keep his friends. Shame.
Hello again Mr. Narrator i guess this is the end of the film?
Well then that's it, any after creds? No?
Huh well this film was ok. I am not a dedicated fan of pokemon anymore, i used to love it a long time ago but my love faded and as i said i have loved Digimon more so.
Out of 10 how would i rate this movie?
5/10
A good flick to pass time or to "revisit" your childhood somewhat but that's it, i like the music and animation but disliked the cuts and skips and undeveloped characters and the fact this film could be condensed to a short say 5mins rather than drag it out with that filler for 1 hour 30. Pikachu fucking talked english i heard of this online ages ago and i was like "what no waaay" i finally seen it and well some down points for that it was not needed and it was cringe worthy bad.
If you are a child or love Pokemon well, you will like this film. If you are not one of those two, well you won't. Or perhaps if you are one who is all about the NOSTALGIA! you will like it too.
Got a film you want me to type and react about live? Leave a comment or send me a message yeah?
Take care, stay shiny!
