Pulling Yourself Out Of A Pit

It's not easy. It's tough. Once you fall into the pit, you feel weak and helpless. All you try and do feels useless. You wake up after a broken sleep, in disrepair and despair from awful dreams. Negative voices and faces come and speak. Filling your head with ill will and unpleasantry.

Those voices tell me; "You are no good for anyone. You are not good enough. You are not fit enough. No one loves you and you are not worth the time and ever feeling love. You are the cause of all the bad. Everything bad in your life is your fault."

The theme of which the voices and past shadow people present is that the abusive language and actions of them is because of my existence, because you I am fat, different, broken and too good in a world full of hate and ugliness and that I should blame myself for their actions against me.

When you get into that pit, when your mind drags you down because things are too good or because too many things are staring down your neck. Just remember to be present and to breathe. It's scary, it's worrying and stressful, let alone frustrating. You always have two options you can let the nastiness play and replay over and over and let it roll you down the hill and into a pit, or you can let it play and roll down a hill and step over it allowing the voices to go into a pit by themselves. Alternatively you can scale that hill and capture those thoughts and feelings of negativity and hold them and continue to scale up the hill and use the negativity as fuel, as a power source to get the hell up and to prove them wrong!

No one said it's easy or that Scotty J would have an easy life. Scotty J would lead a difficult life because he was born into the world with a broken leg and then Scotty J developed Epilepsy from a side effect of an injection. Scotty J spent a lot of his childhood in hospitals and being unable to remember a lot of moments and times and it's not his fault, just the circumstances were unfortunate. Despite the circumstances Scotty J prevailed and continues to live on each and every day. It's not been easy to keep going on despite health issues, family passings, betrayals and heart breaks, but he keeps on going strong. A lot of the traumas of life have been locked away and forgotten about but things get triggered as bad dreams arise and the vault is left ajar, ready for keywords or moments to make the tortured souls near and not far.

Confidence isn't my strong point for it comes and goes in different levels of strength. I overthink and I worry and I Google anything wrong and Catastrophize the worse scenarios. I've pulled myself up out of deeper pits before. I've pulled myself out of pits like this before. It's going to be okay. Tough times don't last but good guys do.

Fuel your fire to beat the pits desire.

Be Nice!

Don't necessarily believe everything you hear or see, be it online or offline. It doesn't matter what age you are, don't let others opinions or what you read online, dictate how you treat other people.

Get rid of likes and follows or followers who do not impact your life in a positive way or do not help you're mental health. A healthy social media feed is essential for growth as a person and for a good mental well being.

Don't ignore pain. Pain is there to remind us our bodies and minds need to rest and recover. Grief has no expiry date but the passage of time does make it easier on ourselves. Remember the good times, hold onto those memories let the good moments inspire, motivate you and make you smile.

Don't be afraid to talk about what you're going through. Don't shy away from everyone just take your time and find ways you're comfortable to talk about things to people who care about you and those you trust. If you prefer talking in person or online just take your time when discussing those matters of the heart.

Don't neglect yourself or anyone and be kind, look out for one another, be supportive and caring but most importantly just be nice.

Positive vibes! - By Scott Jones.

Positive Vibes!

I am going to take a moment to just say something that I hope can help you reading this in some way shape or form. It's normal to get down in the dumps, what is not normal however is putting yourself down! Don't do it! I know, i know it's a hard, bad habit to break but you can do it! I have taken steps over the past few weeks to break that habit, my thinking is getting better and better, I’m a genuine nice guy, some will take pleasure in breaking that barrier others will take pain in the form of jealousy. I know the pain, i know that pleasure i have been on all sides of this. We can do amazing things, you can do amazing things! I like being nice. I hate being sad. I like helping others more than i like helping myself.

People have said "you’re a nice guy" to me for like all my life and i have always locked onto that thought to just be a nice guy always. People have also said "oh your thick, and stupid doing this and that" and i have subconsciously locked onto that negative thought and done and said stupid things mainly to live up to others standards for what they said i was, even when it is not true. We are all mad, madness makes us beautiful as they say, i don't want to bang on about all stuff you the reader scrolling along may find annoying, dumb, useless or what other negative thoughts you have. I want you to once again know that you are amazing, you can do anything you want to, don’t let others nor yourself get yourself down. I have found many a times in my life my greatest enemy was not the people around me, but rather it was myself for having that self-doubt, the low self-esteem, the low confidence, lacking that drive, the positive vibes that i am now gaining. I am loving the look of things on the horizon. Change comes not when you want it to but when you need it to! It's all fun and games making these New Year’s resolutions or what not but unless you see you need to change your ways and unless you put the work in you will not get the results you want and you will give up. Don't give up, keep going! Life has a different story for us all, we all walk different paths of this wonderful world, we all will experience life's madness of giving and taking away we all must deal with it in our own ways, in our own times and in our own lives.

I am not one bit religious by the way i am rather to myself more thoughtful and open minded of my surroundings and all the beliefs in the world. Some people need to believe in something to live, others need goals and dreams to live honestly without the two we would die. If you don't have dreams you are just going to let life pass you by. I honestly had no freaking idea what i wanted but that's when years later after maturing mentally that i realised the things i want in life are actually my dreams, that the places, the things, the shows, the gigs etc are all my goals. I can and i will achieve them all and that will not happen in one single day, but it will happen in stepping stones in the shape of days, months and years even. Some say once your dreams/goals are achieved you will die. Oh yeah? I'd like to see the goal/dream of living forever try and get me haha. In all jokes aside i have rambled on way to long here, this post is not just from my mind aimed at myself, it's aimed at others, I want to send a message of help and support to everyone today struggling, who are unhappy, sad, dreaming, overthinking, scared or what other emotions are going through you today or when you are reading this, whoever you are, where ever you are.

You are amazing! Set your goals, work towards them and achieve them one stepping stone at a time. Support is always around you. Bring positive vibes to others who need it. Tell yourself you are gorgeous, smart, funny, honest, nice and friendly. Think of the positives in your life. Focus onto them, drive away those bad thoughts, we need more bright people in this dim world. It all starts with positive thinking, stick your middle finger up to the bad. Less focus on the past and more focus on the future. We are all guilty of relapsing and going back onto the bad habits of negative thoughts but as long as you today get through the day with no bad thoughts of yourself, no arguing with others i promise you, you will see the difference and how silly you have been with the negative thoughts of yourself getting yourself down all the time. Be strong everyone. Sending these good vibes and these messages of positivity your way.

I have been asked recently "Scott how do you keep going to all these gigs, shows and events?" a very easy question to answer that I'm glad I got asked. I saved up my money from the time devouring monster that was my time in security and I am spending my hard earned cash to go and do things and to see and hear things that I enjoy in this world. You could tell me it's a waste of money and time and I could tell you spending money to get drunk is also. These shows, events and gigs I attend are all creating memories and experiences. I'd love to see others go to gigs or conventions and what have you, it’s all fun and just so enjoyable. You can make many friends. You can get into new musicians. You could get into a show you don't even watch from all these experiences. Do what you love to do and your little world in your brain will be happy. Going to gigs seeing your fave musicians ah god it's a feeling that is truly a huge mixed bag of emotions from the whole psyched up phase to the love phase to the happy phase to the point where you sing your lungs out and dance like no one else is there but yourself. Plus one unforgettable moment I love most about going to see musicians I love is when the crowd come together to sing in perfect harmony, hearing thousands of people all different ages, genders, races just singing dancing being happy just everyone feeling the power of that moment of singing to a song. It gives me goosebumps it's beautiful. I go to the shows, gigs, events because I want to, I have the money to, I want to just be a part of an electrified atmosphere and just experience it all. I love it. I love going to see these bands, I love going to watch wrestling shows, I love going to meet the people who I have grown up watching at comic cons. I love all the experience I have had with shows, gigs and what not. There's been negative moments in a few but I've always enjoyed it all.

Written by Scott Jones. 

This came from my heart,mind and soul. I want to additionally thank Maxine Day for helping me unlock this new look on life that i have hid from.