Mood Today (original poem, lyrics, story) by Sjones

I'm writing these words just to say,
About how I am doing and my mood today,
Quiet and fine,
Inside my mind,
It's not so silent,

Violent,
My anger and frustrations,
Surviving is a riot,
There's not many that know, all who go,
Chasing dreams over a colourful rainbow,

This too goes to show,
My mind is singing, while the exterior is quiet,
Everyone's asking, are you okay?, how are you today?,
I smile and sit in silence,

I'm okay or at least I say,
I'm not really sure what to say, of how I am really doing on this day,
Numbness and sadness underneath my clouds,
It hasn't rained in days, this sight's profound,

Take your time and focus on yourself,
They all say, little do they know,
That can't quite be,
Done,

I'm having fun,
Living my life distracting myself,
My emotions I cast aside and set up on a shelf,
As I'm living and breathing trying to forget someone else,

Memories are nice but bring pain,
Of a heart break that feels like yesterday,
It's been a while now and I still feel empty and drained,
Missing a part of me even though I am not in pieces,
Physically,

My body is exhausted
Mentally maimed,

I'm losing sleep, sleeping less on the daily,
My heart is locked away underwater in a locker titled,
Davey,
Which will give up first I often wonder,
Heart, soul or mind which will be the first to go under,

Life is something I always ponder,
What came before, what comes after,
Ok I say,

As I'm holding back laughter,

We've heard quite enough,
I feel like I'm dying, Is there any wonder,
Why?,
With all these words in my head,
I'm overflowing with all this existential dread.