Total Pageviews

Monday 17 August 2020

Remembering Jay & Bub Jones

This post is dedicated to my children who I lost due to miscarriage. It's hard to talk about and to have gone through and I miss them dearly as do their mother.

We lost Baby Jay in January 2020.

Our Expected Bump
4:25am 6/1/20
You're so little and you won't be able to hear this yet, 
You won't be able to read or understand any of this either,
But you are so loved, you are so little, so smart, so amazing,
You are being brought up into a big, scary, cold, world,
It's an exciting time to be alive none the less,
You will have two incredible people in your life that are and will be doing everything for you,
You may grow to hate, you will grow to love, listen well and listen close,
We're going to have so much fun, you will be so supported and cared about,
Much more than me and you're mother ever were, we are always here,
We love you little one, we love you squishy, we love you bumpy,
As much as you are expected, you also expect us,
We love you bump, we'll do all that's in our power,
Warmth, Food, Drink, Clothes and a roof await you,
you will be protected against the odds and scary,
Be safe, be careful, shine like a star that you are, love hard, be stronger, be healthy,
Laugh like hell and give the world a heaven and give the bad a hell.
We love you and can't wait to see you
Love DAD & MAM!
Due Date Bump
17th August 2020
We knew you oh so briefly,
We love you so very deeply,
We carry you with us forever,
We adore you for all of life,
We will remember and love you for the rest of our lives,
Every second we carried you was breathtaking,
Mammy was jittery, Daddy was ball of excitement,
The sun shines for you today,
The rain pours for us as we miss your due time,
Rainbows will light the dark cloud we are under,
You will guide us and help us to the right way,
You will always be here,
And so will we,
Baby Jones,
We love you, We see you, We remember you, We love you

Today Is Your Day
Today is the day you should have showed your face to the world,
Today is the day where your first cry would have been heard,
Today is the day where it would have marked the start of many days for years to come,
Today is the day, i would have held you close and called your name, little one,
Today is the day where mam would have been in pain and tears but happy to welcome you to the world,
Today is the day you would have taken your first breaths and ate your first meal,
Today should have been the day we take you home in our arms,
Today is the day in which we mourn your departure,
Today is the day we honour your memory and think of you more than ever,
Today is the day we send our love, give our thanks, and pray to you,
Today is the day where it's raining but there's a rainbow too,
Today is the day where the rainbow is shining, sparkling, bright just like you,
Today is the day we look up towards the stars and see a bright spark marking where you are,
Today would have been yours to hold, Today should have been ours,
Today is your day. 


We also lost another baby in September 2021 
(during this time I had covid so my gf had to go through it on her own as I had to isolate for 14 days), 
We called them Bub and they would have been born 20/4/22. 

This post is for them. 

Monday 3 August 2020

Taylor Swift Folklore Album Thoughts

So last week or on Friday the 24th July 2020 to be more precise, Taylor Swift came from nowhere and RKO'D the swiftie fandom and mainstream charts out of nowhere, even her label were hit with a surprise that she dropped a new album. 

This came from nowhere but also came from everywhere! She never sits still for much that girl and as my loving girlfriend said "when she posted nothing going on, i knew she was up to something!" so yeah apparently in lockdown Taylor decided to up and drop an album on us from the stir crazy lockdown world quarantine everyone has been under. 

This album to date as of writing has sold a whopping 1.3million copies and most fans aint getting the physical copies until another week! Taylor Swift becomes the first artist ever to debut at No. 1 on both the Hot100 and Billboard200 in the same week thanks to Folklore, Bon Iver gets their first Hot100 top 10, and more moves on the billboard charts this week.

It is Taylor's first alternative album! Which when i heard of it very much peaked my interests more than your standard "Taylor got a new album out" news does. Like don't get me wrong we all know i am a closet swiftie by now with all my lists and thoughts on Taylor but you know as a lover of good music she can and has done some bangers right and i am always in new things from her because she is quite talented. 

So going into this album i thought; Hmm very fairy-tale like stuff with the woods and the fonts on the covers and also how Cardigan sneak peak pictures were looking very much like a Peter Pan fairy-tale vibes going on. Then when i watched Cardigan i thought the song and video was lovely and very fairy tale like with how she was travelling through a box of light going to a different place and so on. Also as we know Folklore the word means; the traditional beliefs, customs, and stories of a community, passed through the generations by word of mouth.

So now here we are 16 tracks and 1 bonus song all to devour, oh jesus this is going to be quite a task already. So to start i will be giving first thoughts on the album via my first listen through and i will be diving into the lyrics as we go to try and connect more and see more about the songs. 

So DJ, SPIN THAT SHIT!
FOLKLORE
By Taylor Swift

1: The One - First listen i don't quite know what to make of this.Some sadness and humour in here but is it written from her perspective or someone else's. Nice little harmony with the oo's and it does flow lovely. 

2: Cardigan - It's a lovely flowing soft song. In a Live Q&A before the music video for “Cardigan” was released, Taylor explained, “The song is about a lost romance and why young love is often fixed so permanently within our memories. Why it leaves such an indelible mark.” Taylor also elaborated in an interview with BBC Radio 1: “This is a song that’s about long lost love, and looking back on it and how special it made you feel,” she said, adding, “all the good things it made you feel, all the pain that it made you feel.” Maybe this song describes how comfy and safe she feels in her current relationship. 

3: The Last Great American Dynasty - It sounds like the old Taylor answered the phone on this one. Why does this sound like it's about some olden time popular fancy celeb couple. Yeah i quite like this, it stands out to me thus far more so than what i have heard at the moment but again this is the first listen through. 

4: Exile - Ok started and it swelled me up a bit and tbh it sounds like it should be Bon's song more than Taylor's on this collab. I like this, it makes me emotional jesus. This is the best song on here right now as i am writing as i near the end of this track, i mean it's making me swell up and tear up bro! This is one i'd pay to see live in person! This is a convo between ill fated lovers perhaps. 

5: My Tears Ricochet - Oh the chorus is very cleverly put together let me just say that. So far this album is like a RED 2 in how it's tone is coming across as, and by that i mean Red is a downer of an album overall but it's good don't get me wrong too. Very clever song it's like cornelia street and i think he knows but darker and more emotional? Does that make any sense? Apparently this is the only song on the album she wrote herself but also the first she wrote.

6; Mirrorball - I like the instrumentals of this, it's very chill and reminds me of a song from the life is strange games, maybe this one should be in a life is strange 3. So yeah the vibes give me LIS vibes so for that i like this. Defo one i will revisit. There's some possible throwbacks to her career or rather era's with how this song goes maybe she is reflecting it all. 

7; Seven - Hmm another one which would suit a life is strange game if i am honest. Another one i will have to revisit as i can feel it could be sort of about her not understanding an issue as a child about one of her friends maybe? Dessner told Vulture: "It's kind of looking back at childhood and those childhood feelings, recounting memories and memorialising them, It has one of the most important lines on the record: 'And just like a folk song, our love will be passed on.' That's what this album is doing. It's passing down. It's memorialising love, childhood, and memories. It's a folkloric way of processing." 

8: August - Fearless Taylor vibes i am getting from this, it's nice don't get me wrong but it's not really grabbing me so much but i have only heard this song twice as of writing, so if i appreciate it later on i will let you know. This is possibly about someone young just running about after a man and she ends up broken hearted as the man is not hers so its story of a love triangle.

9: This Is Me Trying - Nice chill reflection song a very vulnerable song, this should be track 5 as i think it fits well of the legendary track five status. At least i am trying to piece together my thoughts, feelings on all this. It's quite hard at times as you can see because some songs are not so standout or like beneficial and very meaningful to me if it makes sense like i don't fully grasp what others maybe from some of these songs but you know can't say there's a song i don't like thus far. 

10: Illicit Affairs - Uhhh i dont quite know what to say it was a troublesome song i guess but what else can you say about a song that's about cheating or a cheater you know? In the third verse, Swift appears to reference her 2014 single"Out of the Woods." The "don't call me kid, don't call me baby" i do like. 

11; Invisible String - A nice piece of music here, it's a nice little piece to her lover and when this title was revealed i had major your name vibes which is an anime film you reading this should watch! Swift appears to underscore the idea that she and Alwyn have been unconsciously connected throughout their lives.The third verse could contain a nod to Swift's ex-boyfriend, Joe Jonas, who infamously dumped Swift over the phone and recently welcomed his first child with wife Sophie Turner: "Cold was the steel of my axe to grind / For the boys who broke my heart / Now I send their babies presents." So isn't that funny. This is a lovely piece of music my friends, it's quite romantic and chill.

12: Mad Woman - Well if i am not mistaken this is quite a revenge song haha. Maybe like she's calling out the emotions of female rage which might be seen as a taboo or joke of sorts to talk about openly so similar to in how in "The Man" she was calling out the industry on sexism but this is more about being angry as a woman i mean just a theory and maybe another theory is that this is just how people have seen her towards her old enemy Kanye and how maybe her silent anger is something very scary and intimidating to some to hear or see? 

13: Epiphany - Ooh a moody start here. An emotional song here about loss and there's a hospital theme so maybe it's about giving thanks and praise to current healthcare workers whilst also talking about her grandfather who fought in the war. I find this beautiful also and through my second listen as i read and understand the lyrics more and open my ears more and let the music into my soul i am actually getting tears in my eyes, i can connect and i can see this song, i feel it.

14: Betty - Classic Taylor Swift self titled debut album but with maturity and wisdom of the modern Taylor is what this song is. Something bad happened to this "Betty" and the speaker is looking for forgiveness. 

15: Peace - Hmm i am not quite sure what to make of this either on first listen but now time to listen again! Swift is talking about giving her partner everything but struggling with making peace maybe since she say's "All these people think love's for show / But I would die for you in secret" and how she says "No, i could never give you peace." Maybe the "No i could never give you peace." is about her popularity as she is always talked about and taken photos off so that lavish livestyle is too much for a partner to fully take? Swift also nods to her two most infamous feuds, singing, "But there's robbers to the east, clowns to the west." The "robbers" are most likely Borchetta and Braun, who own the rights to her first six albums, while the "clowns" seem to refer to West and Kardashian West.

16: Hoax - Another vulnerable song here which i don't fully know what to say about on first listen. Apparently this song was late added to the album. I got some imagery from Rep and Red in some lines here maybe throwbacks to them. She sings about missing New York here about maybe some regret to move perhaps too. On my second listen i get it more on what's being said and she is feeling and means and i do like this but for me there's other songs here i connect more with or i like more of, so no offence to the songs which don't do much for me but it is important to know that not every single song will hit home runs or connect to everyone, sometimes its not about the connection of music but the expression of the lyrics and pain and artistry to create and put a piece of yourself into words, into music even. 

Bonus Track!
The Lakes 
Oh my god its so lush and romantic i love it!

Overall it's a good album, well written, smart and clever lyrical play, instrumental is classic Taylor with a twist and this of course is different for her. This album is soft, vulnerable, angry, resentful, depressing and hopeful i would say. This is one which fans will say this is a stand out from all the rest of her works and you could put it easily between Fearless & Red if you would like. Kudos Taylor, well done. 

Well my dear readers thanks for visiting and reading as always and thanks for sharing too!

Photo and music credits: Taylor Swift