Barbie Movie - Kenning Review!

So here is the second film review of the biggest cinematic event of the year, BARBENHEIMER! 

Now Greta Gerwig directs this bright, otherworldly flick which stars Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling among many other stars such as Simu Liu, Ncuti Gatwa, John Cena & Dua Lipa.

I'm literally him! He's literally me!

Barbie tells the tale of Barbie the doll and how they have their own land, and it's connected to our world. One day a Barbie (who is stereotypical Barbie aka Margot Robbie) goes through one of her never ending happy days until she has a deep dark thought which crashes the party and the mood of all the other Barbies and Ken's, and she ventures off to try and fix herself. Ken (Ryan Gosling) tags along, and we get a silly, fun and entertaining look at the lives of a Barbie and Ken, and we get a mirror shown at society, history and the real world we live in.

As the film say's at one point, there's no way Margot could ever be ugly.

Greta and all the cast involved did a fantastic job they really sold this film well. I had a good laugh with this and it entertained me. There's a scene that was apparently going to be taken out, but I think them keeping it in was for the best and without it some context and heart in the story would have been lost. Great to see original creator of Barbie in here too. The last time a lot of us seen or knew anything about the real Barbie was in that old Simpson episode if I'm not mistaken. The soundtrack has hits and misses, my faves are Ryan Gosling's "I'm just Ken" and Dua Lipa's "Dance The Night".

I really enjoyed this weird, fun, quirky, self-aware and meta entertaining branded film. If you are on the fence about seeing this quirky and pink film, please be rest assured and know that the rating is 12A.

4.5 🌟's

Yes it's just shy of 5🌟's I apologize in advance. I think the ending didn't need to be that is all, it was the weirdest part, which I know is quite daft to say because it's a film about plastic pink female dolls come to life, but that's how I felt. Oppenheimer was better.

BARBENHEIMER FOREVER BITCHES!

OPPENHEIMER - An Atomic Film Review!

Christopher Nolan is back and so is cinema. Nolan's Oppenheimer is truly a masterclass biopic cinematic tale following the true story of J. Robert Oppenheimer as he races against the Nazi's to make the first atomic bomb. Follow Oppenheimer (Cillian Murphy) through the spectacle of making the bomb to the heavy reality of its fallout and the consequences it has on mankind.

Cinematic masterpiece. Pure art. This is peak. This is cinema!

Heavy, intellectual, thrilling and enthralling. The first half is the making of the bomb. Second half is dropping the bomb and then seeing its effects. This film contains a great score and star-studded cast. The last half is a political thriller culminating in the harrowing reality of it all. Nolan and all the cast and crew and I mean ALL of them who worked or attributed something to this film need to have a standing ovation and a massive pat on the back for this film. "Now I have become death, destroyer of worlds".

5🌟's

Youtube Kills Pain Quest

Dear YouTube,

A video that was released onto my YouTube channel 1stmetalgod was permanently removed via YouTube team on Wednesday 12th July at 1pm. The video was Pain Quest 3 part 2 (hardcore) it contained myself, James Evans and Lewis Griffiths. The video as with any Pain Quest video is starring James Evans hurting himself for the entertainment of others and for a bit of fun and laughs you know. James is fine and was fine from all filming of any PQ related content.

James Evans spawned this series with me filming all for our joint love of Jackass quite frankly. Myself, James and Lewis were all over the age of 18 during the filming. James was the only one being harmed, but you know he consented. YouTube after 12 years of no problems decided to target the video and declare that the video PQ3 Hardcore had scenes of child endangerment, no children were featured, filmed nor harmed in the video, again we are 3 men we are all over the age of 18 in the video. Lewis was the youngest of us at 18, and he did not get hurt. I was filming and I did not get hurt. James got hurt but only got bruises at the best, no major harm or injuries. We never went as far as trying to break any bones with James we and he only did what he wanted to and was comfortable with.

I disputed YouTube's claim as false and provided my evidence and however YouTube did not like what I had to say and they re-reviewed their claim and the video and still then flagged the video as child endangerment and have permanently removed the video from the website. This is a tragic shame for such a small and old YouTube content creator such as myself. There are worse things on YT that are still there. Yet an entertainment purposed video full of laughs is taken down falsely.

I am now unable to do anything further and have lost an old video for wrongful doings. YouTube your entire team are a bunch of dumb cunts, let's be honest. Since Google bought YT out and remodelled the team, they have no fucking braincell's amongst them. No doubt YT are doing to eventually come for the rest of the Pain Quest videos. Stupid fucking snowflakes concentrating on the wrong issues. So dearest YouTube cuck team you better come hard and fast because once you take the other 17 videos down, I will leave your stupid fucking website. 

Fuck YouTube!

Yours fuckingly,

1stmetalgod.

Is This Death I Fear? (Original poem/lyrics) - By SJones

Bloody battlefields, neath shield I lay,

Battered, broken, my faith led astray,

Is there anyone out there,

Can anyone hear my cries for help,

I'm alone and afraid to look,

Are my brothers all dead and gone,

Do my enemies still lurk near,

Is This Death I Fear,

Arrows snapped in two,

Dagger pierced through,

I'm bleeding out,

Please take me home,

I've lost the feeling in my legs,

My bones ache and I grow colder,

I'm tired but I cannot pass yet,

I will crawl through the mud and blood,

I must reach home, my family need my saving I fret,

Arrows snapped in two,

Dagger pierced through,

I'm bleeding out,

With blood pouring and my enemies lurking,

I am afraid for once in my life,

Is This Death I Fear,

I think of heaven and eternal life which awaits me,

St Peter will see me when I close my eyes,

The angels will sing and greet me with open arms,

The harm I feel will not exist, To think I won't hear my families cries,

By the high point of the sun is the sky, I pray the dark away,

Let the vultures circle round me, I'm not leaving this realm today,

I have lost more blood than I can count by now,

I grow hungry and thirsty, but I am still alive somehow,

The birds have pecked at me, and I am not on my feet,

I'm crawling and dragging myself to victory,

Thy enemies are hunting me, My brothers and their faces haunt me,

Is this the end or IS THIS DEATH I FEAR,

Arrows snapped in two,

Dagger pierced through,

I'm bleeding out,

With blood pouring and my enemies lurking,

I am afraid for once in my life,

Is This Death I Fear,

I see the fire and smoke ahead past the tree's,

Hoping inside that my family remembers me,

Arrow heads imbedded in me, broken pieces of chain and blood trail behind,

Are my enemies around me, is this delusion or are the voices really there to remind,

Faces are blurred, and I don't know what they are saying,

I feel light and weightless now as I feel I am carried,

Thank you for guiding me home lord, those are the last words I spoke,

Now there's a light, yet there also exists darkness,

Is this the afterlife, or is this death I fear?

Written by SJones

10/7/23 1am

Indiana Jones & The Dial Of Destiny FILM REVIEW

OK a new Indiana Jones film is out, and I have been looking forward to this for a long time! I am a big fan of Dr Jones and yes I do like Crystal Skull. Buckle up and put your hats on and let's get ready to go back in time with the new Indiana Jones film review.

Our fave daredevil, whip wielding, hat wearing, archaeologist is back and this time he is nearing his retirement. 12 Years after his last adventure Indy is down on his luck and has lost his family and has aged to be in his 70s, so his body is beaten, tired and scarred from his past adventures and time is catching up to Indy, but he won't tell you that. The film starts in 1944 as we flash back to a younger Indy infiltrating the Nazi's for an artefact, only to end up finding a fake but then walking away with something even better and quite mythical, a time travelling piece of Archimedes dial. So in 1969 some Nazis from Indy's past return and are after his god-daughter when Indy gets all caught up in the scheme for the dial of destiny and must go on one last adventure to keep the dial out of evil's mitts and save the world once more.

Dial Of Destiny as a film is OK at best. The end was so rushed. 

***NOW WE COME TO SPOILER TERRITORY SO LOOK AWAY NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT ANY SPOILERS*** 

Killing off Mutt off-screen was a low blow. Wish Spielberg had made this rather than Mangold. Harrison always delivers as Indy. I was not a fan of Phoebe's character Helena Shaw. Mad's character Vollen should have died in the intro after we see him get hit by a pole on a moving train, his face should have been seriously messed up, and he should have died but nope he lives and has a tiny scar to show for it. The first 20/30 mins of the film with De-aged Indiana Jones were brilliant then the rest was just a totally different film. Lots of people ragged on the de-aging and lip sync for young Indy, but honestly I had no issues with it. It's nice to have the references to characters and events in other films but not name-dropping Short Round is another criminal offence. There is a new kid in this whose sidekick to Helena Shaw, and honestly he is just useless and forgettable, he is sort of a short round lite, oh hang on he's not that useless he randomly flew a plane when time was needed even if he had no idea or lessons of how to fly a plane. The Last Crusade had the first brilliant ending to the Indy series BUT Crystal Skull also had a brilliant and happy ending too despite that film's flaws but in my honest opinion after Rewatching Skull the other day, Dial Of Destiny is worse than Crystal Skull. The ending here in this film was so anticlimactic, basically Indy and Helena are back in time to like 215BC and Indy got shot he is dying and wants to be left there with history and Helena just goes "lol nope" knocks out Indy then he wakes up in his flat in 1969 and Marrion and co are back there and all seems well and good. Helena and co go grab Ice Cream while Indy and Marrion kiss and the film circles in on Indy's hat drying outside his window when he grabs the hat and pulls it back into the flat. There's a lot in the film which the film wants us to disband our belief and toss our brains out the window and again point proven from the intro with Vollen surviving. This is said to be "Indy's final adventure" so I had high expectations it would send him off well, and we'd get a decent action adventure from our fave archaeologist but all I got was the dial of mid.

5/10

Thanks for reading and visiting my blog, I hope you enjoyed the new Indiana Jones film more than me.