Fallout Is Love, Fallout Is Life (parody story)

Back when I was a little boy my father locked me away in a vault. He sacrificed himself to save my life. 

Years passed and I matured and grew to be an adult then came reclamation day, when men and women would all gather to leave our underground vault shackled lives behind to go above the ground and to actually feel the ground and take in the air which hit our faces and filled our lungs, it soothed me. 

That's when I saw it.....the destruction, the mass wasteland, full of rads, bandits and creatures the likes of which mankind has never encountered before. 

I turn to go back to the vault out of fear of this big scary open world in front of me, only to see it.....it stood tall....dark course skinned.....had long sharp claws and a deafening roar....it hugged me tightly...taking the air out of my lungs. And that's when it....it.....it bent me over and said "Fallout is love, Fallout is life" but before it could penetrate my butthole, the creature was slain by a stranger using vats. 

"I'm saved what a relief" I said when the stranger came close to me and whispered in my ear. "Another settlement needs your help". 

I quiver still to this day of those words...with my skin fully absorbed of radiation the radio cries uranium fever and now I prowl, living un-dead a Ghoul for the wasteland barren as it seems, it's now my home.

"Fallout Is Love" I said, "Fallout Is Life"...........

****Alternative***

I was only 27. I loved Fallout so much. I had all the games, a tattoo and a pipboy. Every night I would play Fallout religiously, singing all the songs even when the sound was off. I'd pray to the Bethesda gods "Fallout Is Love" I said "Fallout Is Life". My Dad comes into my room he call's me "sad act!" I knew he was jealous of my devotion to Fallout. I tell him to shut up, he rubs my head really hard and tell's me to be quiet as he's off to bed. My doors closed now. My head hurts. I'm laying in bed and then it get's really cold. I feel something warm. It's moving towards me. It touches me. It's Vault Boy! I'm so happy! He whispers in my ear "Fallout 76". He turns on his pip boy and show's me the wonderful trailer. I'm crying. I am ready for this. My body is ready for the love Bethesda presents me. An image appears at the end for the collectors edition, I almost die from the excitement. I have tight pains in my chest, it hurts so much but I do it for my Vault Boy. I feel the hype inside me rising, I can't stop crying. I must buy this game! Vault Boy roars "Uranium Fever" as he shows me more gameplay from 76. My Dad walks in tired and pissed off. Vault Boy looks us straight in the eyes and say's "Releases 14th November 2018". Vault Boy leaves through my window. I collapse in my bed. Fallout Is Love, Fallout Is Life. 

War Hasn't Changed......

War Never Changes......