we all know someone who thinks they are shit hot but they aint....#Annoyed
#Halloween as a grown up I hate halloween now since more people bang on about #Christmas than Halloween. I loved that day as a kid now not.
#ARealManKnowsHowTo grow a moustache.
Happy #WorldTeachersDay to my fave teachers who I don't think have twitter. Mr.Davies and Mr.Hanson.
Thanks to social media you dont have to go outside to see any kind of eclipse you see it on your social media nice!
"Enough is enough! I have had it with these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!" #QuoteOfTheDay #SnakesOnAPlaneTvEdit
#UnpopularOpinion I don't like David Bowie nor his music. I think people only like him for his face paint and odd clothing choices....done.
Bugs me when a game comes out and in a few hours someone has already beaten it. Don't people take their time anymore?! #Youtube #Gamers
I was having a nice long convo on fb until i said to my mate i'd rather get a ps4 than an xbox one and he just left XD #gamerproblems
#DragonBallSheep errr what the fuck?! C'mon that could have been so much better!
I have no doubts that DC cinematic universe is next year going to slaughter anything Marvel puts out. Will my over confidence be a downfall?
Maximum security jail? Yet prisoners have and can escape still? It's not even close to being maximum secure....
4am and here I am sitting on my couch thinking why is a chair called chair? #Mental #Brain #Life #Mysteries who made the first chair & when?
#TypeYourNameWithYourNose hello I am nose, I finally have time to send a message. Please send help please take me away. Oh no, wdutr uibrzj
You see them,they are almost everywhere, they'll slow you down and damage ya by catching you off gaurd. "SpeedBumbs" the bad horror movie XD
"Who are you?" I'll be honest here and say I still haven't worked that out myself yet.
Can bleach kill zombies? I mean it supposedly kills 99% germs so could it kill a walker? Or will it just burn them and make their bits drop.
Play a game or instrument rather than light forests on fire. U get better rush and u do not cause any harm 2 anyone/anything. #ForestFires
Hmm if you enjoy the things you do/did on the path you chose then was it really a bad path?
Knowledge is power yet power kills. Knowledge can kill. Read carefully and wisely.
Humans look out to the stars to further their curiosity and to explore,yet no man has went past a moon. Strange. #KeepTrying #HumansRStrange
People make money from telling others what they think will happen to them? So strange this planet.
"Smile more, you have a beautiful smile" No when I smile I look like the Joker.
#Frozen2 : #UnlikelySequelNames Frostbite. Prepare to die by over repetition again. Meltdown. ICE AGE.
Just seen Bigfoot. Now I need to grab my 1 mega pixel camera and take a pic....He's gone!?
Wait its #PancakeDay ? The only day of the year i forget!!! Well i dont like pancakes so thats why i forget it.
How can you disturb the peace if there is war in the world? #ThinkOfDat #PhdInThinkingOutLoud
Me have an Ego? No no,I just have a peculiar set of skills that makes me superior than you.
"Oh this object doesn't seem to work the way I want it to, time to bash it against the wall"
#WhatIsLoveIn4Words baby,dont hurt me (dont hurt me,no more)
Just because I do not talk to some people doesn't mean I hate them. Its just I want to talk but I got nothing to say really :/
The good can easily be turned to the dark. Some make the choice and others see no choice.
If one man become immortal the whole human gene pool would become angry and jealous and would find a way to kill said immortal.
Americans be like "i wonder what nfl would be like with out the helmets and pads?" The answer is simple.....RUGBY!
People are going to watch all 3 Back to the future films in one day just for charity? Thats so easy, why not build a delorean for charity?!
Love is the most powerful yet dangerous emotion. #FoodForThought
#GamingConfessions i have loads of games to play and i will often complain i have nothing to play.
#RuinAWeddingIn5Words STOP! These two are siblings!
#CancelWWENetwork is trending. Oh my lord this is really funny!
My mate gets new saints row and him and his family are freaking out over the Ouija board that came with it XD fucking over reacting nutters
Doomsday clock says 2 mins til doomsday! Now Doomsday for most is having no coffee.......I AM OUT OF COFFEE! GAME OVER MAN,GAME OVER!
It would be annoying playing poker with lady gaga. I imagine she be singing everycard she gets.
Showers have 3 settings. Hoth,Just right and Mordor. Ever gotten in one and realised it was set on hoth or mordor? Yeah its hell XD
My music tastes are soo weird.....LET ME REPHRASE THAT! My music tastes are too awesome for the average joe ;D
#ExplainThe90sIn4Words awesome,fun,great tv
#3ThingsThatMakeYouSmile songs,friends,family
You don't know real pain until you've stepped on a plug and headbutted a corner XD
People around babies: "Awww oh my god look how cute it is.LOOK AT IT SCOTT JUST LOOK AT IT AINT IT CUTE" Me: "A wrinkly potato is cute?"
May your creativity never be limited
#FavouriteScottishInsult "Ach you orite der Nessie? Oh sorry i thought you were the monster" Yeah thanks random scotsman
I have my opinion and you have yours.You don't have to like mine, cause I don't like yours.
Nothing is pure in this hell on earth
#FiveWordsToRuinAJobInterview I'm Motherfucker Jones. Ok Motherfucker!
Girls please unless you have bad eyes, stop wearing glasses to make yourself seem "hot/attractive". My lab assistant didn't know C10H15N :/
Think like a bat,feel like a bat,see like a bat,become the bat, i am the bat....IM BLIND!
My lifes motto - "Make it up as you go along". Never fails.
When I joined Twitter,I was like "im gonna see how many followers I can get" now days I am like "I dont care about how many followers i get"
I hate hypocrites.....ironically, I hate myself :P
“Living is Easy with Eyes Closed” - John Lennon- No John its very hard. Ron Burgundy rubbed his thighs aggressive thinking it was his penis
To defeat evil,you must think evil,act evil,fight evil,you are evil! Ok ok this went south. I'm outta here.
Facebook used to be somewhat good now its like an annoying chore/habit.
We may or may not be alone in the universe. Each of those sounds scary. If we are alone. How and why? If one thing exists should be more.
If you have one voice In your head,you are guaranteed more! Hahahaha. Yeah what he said. No sir, I said it. Errrm no you didnt. Ok shush! Wait a cotton picking minute. There's a thing such as "Fried IceCream"? What the hell?! Who said Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
How did the first king and queen just come into existance? Did people vote them into being king and queen due to their power and riches?
wonder who the first evil being was....
Women can wear what they want and do what they want. Lets get rid of the whole "Stick to Kitchen" bollacks. Lets live in a free world.
Dear People who are soo offended with Women breastfeeding, its just boobs and a baby and if that offends you DONT LOOK!? Getting tired of it
I see 3 lights on the mountain infront of me.......THE BEACONS ARE LIT! ALERT THE PEOPLE!
I wonder if all religion's God's is just same thing that moved different countries changed his name and bible up. To just mess with people.
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